Private companies could take responsibility for investigating crimes, patrolling neighbourhoods and even detaining suspects under a radical privatisation plan being put forward by two of the largest police forces in the country.

West Midlands and Surrey have invited bids from G4S and other major security companies on behalf of all forces across England and Wales to take over the delivery of a wide range of services previously carried out by the police.
…snip…
The breathtaking list of policing activities up for grabs includes investigating crimes, detaining suspects, developing cases, responding to and investigating incidents, supporting victims and witnesses, managing high-risk individuals, patrolling neighbourhoods, managing intelligence, managing engagement with the public, as well as more traditional back-office functions, such as managing forensics, providing legal services, managing the vehicle fleet, finance and human resources.

A West Midlands police authority spokesman said: “Combining with the business sector is aimed at totally transforming the way the force currently does business – improving the service provided to the public.

The corporatocracy rolls on. They might as well outsource parliament.



  1. m0les says:

    Sounds expensive.

    Cool poster, very 1984!

  2. Dallas says:

    Why would you want to privatize Barbies?

    … Oh, bobbies!.. Never mind

  3. Richard says:

    Yes, under the theory that if you increase the number of managers, and hire a cheap unskilled workforce, that things will get done better.

    • Animby says:

      When I lived in England and Scotland, my wife’s longtime friend was a cop and, so, our circle f friends included a bunch of “bobbies.” Trust me, they already have a cheap, unskilled workforce. It’s a very good ting, indeed, that most are not allowed to carry firearms.

  4. pedro says:

    G4S: I don’t think I’ve known a more incompetent bunch than those guys.

  5. BigBoyBC says:

    Here comes Omni Consumer Products. But hey! At least they’ll get RoboCop.

  6. NobodySpecial says:

    But if they hire a huge workforce of unskilled thuggish morons to act as police who will protect our airports from international terrorism?

    • deowll says:

      The Brits have very high unemployment. It’s a permanent feature of most neosocialist nanny states even during good economic times.

      Just as repugnant to me they have very few people from the lower class breaking out and making it into the upper class. The oppressive government makes it more or less impossible to start small and make it big which is absolutely dandy with the ruling elites.

      • msbpodcast says:

        You’re allegations are entirely anecdotal and unsupported by fact.

        And it would seem quite obvious that the barriers to class mobility have become higher in the United States than they have been in England.

        Peerage is hereditary and absolute but peers no longer tend not to remain dicks when the basis for the peerage is a couple of acres of unproductive midland bog.

        The US defines its peerage by the amount of money you control and there are definite strata beyond which one never rises.

        The 12,400 USDA/FDA subsidized ultra-rich gentlemen farmer billionaires stay USDA/FDA subsidized ultra-rich gentlemen farmer billionaires.

        For every Richard Branson, Larry Page, Sergei Brin, Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg arriviste there are hundreds of millions of people who will never make it to that level, regardless of how hard they try, because they have to try*.

        The 1%ers corporate and political overlords stay 1%ers corporate and political overlords and always be as morally deficient as they have ever been.

        What they cant control, they destroy, if they can, that includes the electorate.

        Rather than address the systemic deficiencies that stand between the current economic situation and a recovery, you can rest assured that your corporate overlords are all finding their hands suddenly tied when choosing between finding work for you (it is after all much cheaper to go off-shore,) or getting a new Jaguar.

        The current election of 2012 seems to be a contest to see who is the least objectionable on the right (the Democrats) and the further right (the republicans.)

        They are all greedy, unprincipled liars, thieves and lawyers who uddenly find it more expedient to turn their back on the people who put them in office, (like choosing between heart attack or cancer,) and look to their corporate donors for money to fight the next election, and some money to skim off the top for themselves.

        I won’t speak of the level of stupidity to be found in Canada, the level of corruption to be found in Mexico and the less said about the U.K. and the continent the better.

        The 99%ers fucked-in-the-ass schlubs stay the 99%ers fucked-in-the-ass schlubs. They might get lucky or work real hard and one of them might make it into the millionaires club, but the money will never outlive them.

        *) Steve Jobs provided well for his family.They are all arriviste billionaires but not because they earned it. All they can do is watch it fritter away. (Unlike some matrilineal societies, the US does not have the kindest of fates for the Jobs children.)

      • msbpodcast says:

        The reason so many Brits are unemployed are the same as the reasons people here are unemployed.

        Those reasons are the obverse of why there are so many jobs available in China (at Foxconn and the like where the factories are so huge that they make their own weather.)

        Foxconn needs and hires a thousand people per day.

        It sucks to be not to be Asian and its not gonna change.

        • pedro says:

          It sucks not to be Asian? Boy, you sure know how much they pay there.

          • msbpodcast says:

            They have jobs.

            Does the US have jobs? (I mean apart from yours? Who knows how long that will last?)

            Do you know what you can buy in the US without a job? (Hint: Fuck all)

          • pedro says:

            Sure, everything’s rosy in China. Superb salaries, no unemployment, cheap housing, no inflation, no misery, nobody dying of hunger.

            Gosh, can people be more ignorant?

  7. NewfornatSux says:

    This is a good idea. the only time I ever read about British cops arresting someone, the crime is either using a gun against a home invader or rapist or thief on the street, carrying a gun, carrying a hammer or some other tool that could be used as a gun, selling things in pounds instead of kilos, or speaking something against the law like Islam is bad or homosexuality is bad, and maybe Islam says homosexuality is bad.

  8. RS says:

    It’s going to take a lot more than private dicks to restore the UK to manhood.

    They have fallen quite far down the slope of moral relativism and victimization as noble.

  9. Taxed Enough Already Dude says:

    We should try it, it would be nice if small thefts etc were actually investigated.

    Who knows, perhaps Robocop with drones and cameras everywhere will allow people use all that free contraceptives in peace…till Judgment comes.

    • Dr Spearmint says:

      This may be a shot in the dark, but I’m betting you’re not getting any?

  10. msbpodcast says:

    They might as well outsource parliament.

    They’re already doing that.

  11. Animby says:

    Just thinking: When a small town in the LA area hires the LA County Sheriff ti provide law enforcement to it’s citizens:

    a) isn’t that city hiring a police force?
    b) isn’t LA County making a profit on the service it provides?

  12. Coronel Brimp says:

    England was a fairly polite and civil society for decades, and crimes occurred at fairly reasonable rates. Then they started importing huge numbers of wogs. No connection, of course. None. Uh-uh.

    • msbpodcast says:

      Shame to say so but you’re correct.

      The Brits have largely imported their problems. (The most common name in England is Patel.)

      Its all due to having nothing but a couple of islands and still shouldering the, ahem, White Man’s Burden.

      Meanwhile, crime statistics in the ‘States started going down with the introduction of legalized abortions and the pill.

      The very next year babies were not born which meant that they couldn’t grow up to become a burden on society.

      After 25 years that meant the absence of a whole generation of surplus people that we didn’t get to abuse.

      The pill has saved us all from millions of poor, bored, teenagers having millions of babies who didn’t grow up to be poor, bored and pissed-off teenagers, sponging off their poor, bored and by now plenty pissed off parents .

  13. Animby says:

    Coronel Brimp says:”England was a fairly polite and civil society” Of course it was. If you discount draw & quartering, and iron maidens, and thumb screws, etc. England has always been a thoroughly vicious society with a thin veneer of absurdist civility.

    Kent: Thanks for that. I’ve seen it before but totally forgotten the sketch. Egad those two were good together.

  14. sargasso_c says:

    Lawlessness is a growing global problem, not just in Britain. Some of the comments here seem to follow BNP propaganda. Large numbers of uneducated, disenfranchised youth are told by TV that they are failures and are unwanted by their society.

    • pedro says:

      That’s the description of only a group of those people. You are not accounting for many other types of behavior bred by low iq, envy, political manipulation of the poor, etc.

  15. Grandpa says:

    No privately hired cop is ever going to arrest me without first suffering from a bullet hole between his eyes.

    …..you can quote me on that…..

  16. Ken says:

    The government controls police in order that they perform enforcement of social engineering work that progressives demand (war on drugs, war on undesirable behavior, etc.) The very idea of private policing scares the pants off progressives because they could no longer have people punished for being disobedient to the will of the political class.

    Unfortunately, these private police mentioned in the article will be more mercenary than peace-keeper, empowered to do the same job as the government police but without the same (and already extremely limited) accountability. Truly private peacekeepers would serve and protect the people as it is the people who are their employers.

  17. MartinJJ says:

    The british parliament is already “outsourced” to the corporate globalists. If they weren’t, they would never allow such stupid ideas as outsourcing a public service like real police tasks.