You just can’t make this shit up.

Like any state legislature dealing with 8 percent unemployment and thousands of its residents facing disenfranchisement, the Tennessee Senate is targeting the menace of underage hand-holding. Last week, the Senate passed SB 3310, a bill to update the state’s abstinence-based sex education curriculum to define holding hands and kissing as “gateway sexual activities.” Just one senator voted against the legislation; 28 voted in favor.

Since the bill specifically bans teachers from “demonstrating gateway sexual activity”, educators would be prohibited from even demonstrating what hand-holding is

What would the penalty be? Chop off the hands?



  1. fw says:

    “Vague enough and circular enough for you?” What about reacting to that they voted FOR such a vague bill?
    And if it is so vague, they can make it mean anything, or at the least a hell of a lot.

  2. What? says:

    I hear that in my state, next door, strippers can’t take off their bottoms. Tennessee is a bare bottom state. Hummm….

  3. ReadyKilowatt says:

    The law also recommends a minimum of 6″ space between dancers “for Jesus.” Kevin Bacon says he’ll fight the rule the only way he knows how… by cuttin’ foot-loose!

  4. Dallas says:

    Teapublicans are now mandating that bananas and corndogs are to be consumed only by first slicing them and using a fork.

    The deep throating method is a gateway to cocksucking.

  5. Charliej says:

    You laugh at this stuff. How would you like to live with it? I grew up in Alabama, and Alabama makes Tennessee look enlightened. If the churches had their way, it would not be the state of Alabama. It would be the Baptist Republic of Alabama. You could look forward to forced church going. Heresy would be rewarded by burning at the stake. Americas Taliban.

  6. The Monster's Lawyer says:

    I was caught holding hands with myself.

    • Rick says:

      When “saying hi to my monster” is illegal, I’m calling my congressman.