PITTSBURGH (KDKA) — What if you could eat a plate of French fries, loaded with calories, and not absorb the fat because of what you’re drinking. “Yes, I want it,” exclaimed one woman in Market Square.

Well, that’s exactly what PepsiCo is selling in Japan; and, so far, only in Japan. “I definitely need it as I get older,” one man told KDKA money editor Jon Delano.

“I think it’s a great idea, but I’m a little concerned about what they’re going to put in it.” What’s in it is obviously important. It contains an additive called Dextrin, a fat-blocking fiber that is supposed to keep the body from absorbing fat and lower cholesterol levels. That’s a claim that the Food & Drug Administration has not yet bought.

But if it does, as a marketing tool, a Pepsi drink that blocks fat could be a winner. “If you read some of the product claims, there’s one thing I saw that says you’ll be able to eat a piece of chocolate cake and it won’t be absorbed,” says Point Park University business professor Elaine Luther. Prof. Luther, who also once worked for a drug company, says the additive could act like a laxative.

“If you’re not absorbing it, it has to go somewhere,” she adds. And that does not appeal to some. “That’s really disgusting. That’s just really gross,” one woman added. But a Pepsi ad in Japan suggests you can eat both pizza and hamburger – as long as you drink Pepsi Special.

Severe anal leakage will be an obvious plus!

  1. noname says:

    Super Size me please!

  2. heath says:

    Back in my day we called it Drano…

  3. kjb434 says:

    Fat blocker = instant diarrhea

    Oily loose stools here we go.

  4. anonycoward says:

    Isn’t that what Olestra was all about? It was a “fat” that wasn’t absorbed. It had to go somewhere, and most people didn’t like the result. Its failure wasn’t that it didn’t work…it’s that it DID work.

  5. Dallas says:

    The sheeple could buy one slice of chocolate cake and eat it a couple times. The second time as chocolate pudding.

    Teapublicans can claim they’re into renewable energy.

  6. Mayor Bloomburger says:

    Drink water, eat vegetables, fruits, meat, and nuts and do strengthening exercises six hours a week and IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET FAT.

    • Gwad his own self says:

      Nah, I did that. Spent a minimum of 6 hours a week in the gym, kept my diet reasonably healthy and under 2500 calories a day, and put 30 or 40 miles a week on my bike. None of that is extreme, nor was I expecting miracles. Over a period of 2 years I dropped from 230 to 200 pounds and stayed there. Same diet, same excercises, and so on. I just quit losing weight. And at 200 pounds, I still looked fat and had a 40″ waist. I WAS pretty fit, but I was never going to look it, unless I did go on some extreme program. (epilogue: I had a car accident and had my right leg in a cast for 6 months and completely lost all motivation, so now I’m just a big fat unfit blob who doesn’t give a crap what you think of me. I correctly surmised that you (whoever you are) would never like me anyway.)

      IT’S IN THE GENES. People who pat themselves on the back for being so “healthy” certainly deserve some credit for denying themselves dessert, taking that walk after work, and dedicating some time to cardio. But don’t kid yourself, it’s MOSTLY because you got decent genes in the first place.

  7. Admfubar says:

    well the effects of this pepsi should look something like this


  8. msbpodcast says:

    If you’re having to wear Depends©™® ’cause you’re eating/drinking shit, maybe you shouldn’t.

    That this noxious concoction got produced and approved for human consumption should clue you into to that fact that the USDA and the FDA aren’t your friends.

    As far as I can tell, this is the same stuff that liquifies pig manure!!!

  9. kjb434 says:

    The best way to lose weight is to use the well know 4 WORD DIET!

    “Eat Less, Move More!”

    I’ve been doing it for the last 6 months and lost 20 lbs. If you don’t like moving more, eat less.

    Also, never eat anything from a box.

    Instead, for some reason people rather deal with oily ejections from their asses from a fat blocker.

    • Dallas says:

      Agreed. Expend more energy, take in less energy equates to lean, slim, sexy body. Watch Bonanza 24×7 and drink Egg Nog equates to the other one.

  10. msbpodcast says:

    That is the problem with having industrial chemists with accountants’ souls in charge of the kitchen.

    They can actually think that something like this is acceptable.

    When they want to stop declining sales, they figure: Hey boss, let’s just make it addictive…

  11. JT says:

    Can I get a porta potty to go please?

  12. Charlie BROWN says:

    Severe anal leakage will be an obvious plus!

    Didn’t we already try something like this with potato chips? I seem to recall a big too-do with olestra cooking oil or something when Lays decided to make their “new” potato chips.

    In fact, I’m still “leaking”… Even NOW!

    (Don’t you just love toilet browsers?)

  13. Mr Diesel says:

    It’s called Pepsi Poop.

  14. Gwad his own self says:

    Does it have electrolytes?

  15. sargasso_c says:

    We have a new DU meme?

  16. MartinJJ says:

    And McDonalds will now replace all seats with toilets.

  17. Glenn E. says:

    You know what works even better than a fat blocking soda? Syrup of Ipecac, that induces vomiting. So nothing you just ate gets absorb. Not just fat.

    What they really need to do is invent a flavor pill, with none of the carbs, proteins or fats. And you just wash it down with lots of water. The excess pounds will vanish in no time. As you eat only enough healthy food to stay alive. But not all that over advertised junk food. But then the weight losing industry would suffer. So they’ll never invent a pill that does that.

    • Gwad his own self says:

      There are already a lot of people who do that. It’s called “bulimia” and it’s often fatal.

      I know you were kidding, but it’s really not good for you even if you don’t die. If nothing else it really screws up your teeth (from stomach acids.)

  18. Gwad his own self says:

    This post qualifies as anal leakage

  19. Dallas says:

    May I have 2 napkins and 2 wipes please?

  20. Supreme Ultrahuman (I see the comment system is still designed for retards.) says:

    1. This is good because the way you look naked is more important than your personality or character. “love me for who I am…” – well, how unfat you are and how you look naked is the most important part of who you are.

    2. Big greasy shits are wonderful. In fact, the next reality competition on TV should center on big greasy shits and be filmed in graphic 4k.

  21. Patrick Floyd says:

    I suppose it’s been long enough for people to not remember a certain product called Olestra….Anal leakage indeed!

  22. HUGSALOT says:

    The thing is that consuming fat dosen’t make you fatter, it’s sugar (that’s converted into a fat when it bonds with insulin) that puts on the pounds. Eating excess fat would just increase cholesterol levels.


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