FakeLabs marketing department says:

Dude! Who Xor’d your bitcoin?

I’ve been a long-time listener of AJ’s since discovering him on the morning of 911 while scanning the bands looking for Cooper. I’ve battled high-tension lines, blenders, television raster, uncooperative D-layer, and loud-ass cb’ers trying to catch a drifting listen to those landmark ads such as *Internet Switch* in the days before having the opportunity to be absorbed into the internets.

Yes, the seed and water-filter ads are prudent but probably more so to direct thought and DIY pursuits in a meaningful direction. How many have gone on to epoxy some legs onto a standing column filled with activated charchoal and sand instead of paying the $300 for ‘Big Berky’? I’m sure Jones himself realizes that many of the products within his genra of ads are crap (Squatty-Potty, lol) but why turn away free funding?

To me at least, NA’s light banter on subjects such as Giant Voice, or even the slightly more serious endeavor of Hams and the peoples’ internet are sure to get people thinking and off-handedly yeild some eminently in-disposable tools for our survival. Consider *earth-friendly Swords that Decompose*, for instance. Perhaps you could use IceSword to untangle those scrambled Btc.

Lighten up, man — Not even AJ listens to AJ 24/7. To help, here is a preview of some important up-and-coming product announcements:

Introducing two exiting new security solutions from the makers of FakeTV(tm)

FakeRadio(tm)
FakeRadio(tm) is patented high-technology combining temporally-coherent modulation of mathematically related frequencies with precision interjection of intermittant human speech overlays.

FakeRadio(tm) sounds just like a real radio thus deterring burglars while you are away!
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And

FakeWindow(tm)*
FakeWindow(tm) is a series of high-pressure jets of liquid nitrogen which, when combined with water vapor, produces a gently downward flowing curtain of millions of tiny water droplets. Powerful electro-mechanically swept, orthogonal lasers create a chaotic, rapidly changing interplay of light and shadow.

FakeWindow(tm) looks just like a real zombie apocalypse is currently ongoing in your living room thus deterring burglars while you are away!

*{FakeWindow(tm) is not a suitable replacement for auto-glass}
———————–

What are YOU waiting for? Replace all your radios and windows with FakeRadio(tm) and FakeWindow(tm) today.

———————–
And, for a limited time only, Fake911Physics(tm)

Fake911Physics(tm) is a patented process in which getting stuffed leads to one smoking afterwards and subsequent collapse of his tower.

Fake911Physics(tm) acts just like real 911 physics to deterre your contractors from staying in there too long while you’re away!

call now and recieve a free 30 day supply of Fake911Commission(tm)

Fake911Commission(tm) is a patented cleaning solution kit especially formulated to be used on your Fake911Physics(tm) without ever voiding the warranty.

After use, just turn your Fake911Physics(tm) inside-out, give it a good shake, and apply Fake911Commission(tm) with the included specially-designed dispensor with the flow-controlled, hollow bristle-brush-like medium. Give it a squeeze and work from the tip, down with a gentle swirling motion. No extra rinsing is necessary — just thouroghly air-dry away from direct sunlight.

With Fake911Commission(tm), you will be able to whip out your Fake911Physics(tm) and *pull it* with confidence as many times as you like without ever encountering embarrasing questions like ‘why are you doing this?’ or ‘what is that smell?’ .

Fake911Commission(tm) works just like a genuine 911Commission, because it is.