An ordinary sofa might hide a pull-out bed or some drink holders, but a new piece of furniture from Heracles Research Corporation is designed to store an arsenal that John McClane would envy. Besides offering a comfy place to sit and watch TV, the CouchBunker conceals a large gun safe and provides some handheld shields with bullet-resistant cushions, just in case you find your living room under siege.

…According to the developers, the CouchBunker is comfortable enough to act as a regular three-seat sofa or even a guest bed without giving any outward appearance of what it contains – though anyone who goes fishing for loose change might be in for a surprise. Removing the couch cushions exposes the safe’s door, which is tightly secured with two Mul-T-Locks and a key.

The gun safe itself measures 78 x 29.5 x 14 in which the company claims is enough to hold up to 30 rifles with room left over for some ammo, smaller guns, or any other objects you want locked up. Just the safe alone weighs a hefty 650 lb bringing the total weight of the CouchBunker to a whopping 900 lbs. So you’re going to need either a forklift or a team of strong friends to get it into your living room. The interior of the safe is also lined with a fire wall that’s rated for two hours of heat protection.

As a bonus, the company is offering bullet-resistant panels that fit onto the underside of the seat cushions and are capable of stopping a .44 Magnum round, even at point blank range. With the 20 x 24 in plates installed, each cushion is designed to act as a personal shield by pulling them out and gripping the attached handles on the sides.

Probably wouldn’t appeal to anyone around here, eh? Doesn’t even come with cupholders.



  1. birddog says:

    Stealth can be as important as security when preventing theft.

    • msbpodcast says:

      The only people who believe that “Stealth can be as important as security when preventing theft” work at the NSA.

      Your failed attempts at stealth is their job security.

      Their failed attempts at stealth is something for congress to fix by passing new laws against you.

  2. Don't get up says:

    Sure beats my old murphy bed. How about adding a toilet and fridge?

  3. Mextli says:

    Handy when those boring guests just won’t take the hint and leave.

  4. What? The moth is always drawn to the flame? says:

    Shoot your TV?

  5. Rogue says:

    So, they will have to get up to lift the lid? Too much work. Doesn’t make sense. Won’t sell much.

  6. deowll says:

    The correct way to do it is to put cameras around the residence and then land mines around the residence that can be remotely detonated. That way you don’t have to get up and maybe miss something important just to dispose of a hostile intruder.

  7. WmDE says:

    As seen on TV! The Safa! A place for your arse and arsenal!

    • msbpodcast says:

      You win the CLIO award for the best advertainment spiel of 2013. 🙂

  8. noname says:

    Jumbo’s secrete weapons antifouling testing facilities!

    Every weapon has to withstand the extremes of urban environmental conditions. Each weapon is exposed to weeks of sundry amounts of dust bunnies, gritty flatulence, cookie crumbs, loose change and random alcoholic beverages soakings.

    Each weapon is then tested for erratic performance before it can receive its redneck seal of approval sticker!

  9. Yosemite Sam says:

    Talk about a “pull out bed“! You pull it out and they go to bed – FOREVER!

    But I guess it makes about as much sense as using a Hummer to commute to work in or any other gas guzzling SUV out on the road during every rush hour.

    I might even point out those funny leotard pants that all the younger hipster fellas are wearing these days too. You know the ones? Pants that hug your skin so tight that it makes other people wonder how the person wearing them got his feet through. I’m sure the people who have these things think it makes all the sense in the world. Although the guys who have them probably aren’t aware of the sheer hilarity they give to the rest of us. They probably even think those tight pants shows off their camel toes!

    So you see? It’s all a matter of taste. And you know what they say about people who live in glass houses, don’t you Eideard? (…They probably don’t have a couch like this one.)

    To each his own. Just don’t start complaining about the price of things when you can AFFORD this crap.

    • msbpodcast says:

      But I guess it makes about as much sense as using a Hummer to commute to work in

      But I thought that living here in the land of the free and the home of the brave meant that I could ignore all of that lib-tard bullshit.

      Damn it all, I want to watch the hummers go by and see this country slide into the rising tide.

  10. Dallas says:

    Useful not only for Teatard guns and GI Joe set but also for handcuffs , masks and lotion !

    • msbpodcast says:

      First it puts on the lotion…

      Sorry I couldn’t resist the Silence of the lambs reference.

      • Dallas says:

        haha “It rubs the lotion on it’s skin”.
        Great movie.

        • Mr Diesel - Bobbo who thinks nothing is wrong with child porn says:

          And now that actor plays a cop in The Bridge on FX.

          Good show.

  11. This idea is great. My paranoid buddy Simpson could have this couch in the back of his toyhauler trailer /RV. Its a lot better and cosmetic than a gun rack in the back of the truck. Women would love its neatness and on top of that it saves space..

  12. Gives new meaning to that old lie, “Honest, I’ll pull out before I shoot.”

  13. Taxed Enough Already Dude says:

    In these perilous times, the couch is a sensible addition to any living room.

  14. Tim says:

    “Honey, have you seen the cat lately?”

  15. sargasso_c says:

    Blue clashes with that decor.


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