14

Would YOU hire this clown?

More than two-thirds of America’s youth would fail to qualify for military service because of physical, behavioral or educational shortcomings, posing challenges to building the next generation of soldiers even as the U.S. draws down troops from conflict zones.

The military deems many youngsters ineligible due to obesity, lack of a high-school diploma, felony convictions and prescription-drug use for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. But others are now also running afoul of standards for appearance amid the growing popularity of large-scale tattoos and devices called ear gauges that create large holes in earlobes.

A few weeks ago, Brittany Crippen said she tried to enlist in the Army, only to learn that a tattoo of a fish on the back of her neck disqualified her. Determined to join, the 19-year-old college student visited a second recruiting center in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and was rejected again.

Apologetic recruiters encouraged her to return after removing the tattoo, a process she was told would take about year. “I was very upset,” Ms. Crippen said.

“The quality of people willing to serve has been declining rapidly,” said Gen. Batschelet.

Good canon fodder is become increasingly hard to find, better re-institute the draft.



  1. RE@DER says:

    Whole baby boom went bust. They are sending bad checks to cover the bad pensions and have the market rigged. Naturally we can afford a bigger military with $20 trillion in debt. We can afford to go back to Iraq too. It is new vacation destination. 700 days and 700 nights at sunni Baghdad Resort. Only $400M/night. Bring the kids and AR-15 and enjoy Six Flags over Baghdad. Dogs eat FREE.

    • jpfitz says:

      I don’t know, I liked the cut of your jib till your last two lines. Leave the kiddies out…well at least ours. And for goodness sake don’t bring your cats or canine companions. The regions higher power has a HATRED for, OUR furry companions and partner in work and other human service.

      I like your sarcasm

  2. bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and junior culture critic says:

    In the weird but could be true department I saw a show on the overuse of antibiotics that made the point that they may have an unintended consequence of killing off some of the beneficial unknown bacteria in our bodies that have co evolved with us to provide the biological dynamic we used to be. Hmmm…. that needs to be edited, but time is short: I initially disagree, but what do I know when they said that obesity might be one such result, allergies and other sensitivities…sure. But we really don’t know the entire role of bacteria in our bodies….so … maybe.

    That all goes to the physically unfit–the bulk of the potential grunts. That seems easy to me. Just put them thru an extended basic training to get them into shape. I don’t see the problem really.

    In my own case…. I actually gained weight during basic. Ha, ha. Yes, thats how SKINNY I was. Man…. youth sure is wasted on the young.

    Your heading pic is a guy who is living in his own subculture. A very tiny minority. Misleading in the way DU so often is. Raising the issue but missing the point.

    When we DENY what we do know (AGW for instance, the evil of income disparity for another), no good reason to talk about what we don’t know.

    Yea verily.

  3. bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and junior culture critic says:

    Reader: knock the shit off.

    I enjoy spicy food but too much of anything is by definition: over powering.

    You demonstrate no judgment at all.

    Do better.

  4. RE@DER says:

    Lewis J. Bookman, age sixtyish. Occupation: pitchman. Formerly a fixture of the summer, formerly a rather minor component to a hot July. But, throughout his life, a man beloved by the children, and therefore, a most important man. Couldn’t happen, you say? Probably not in most places – but it did happen in the Twilight Zone. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_for_the_Angels

    • bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and junior culture critic says:

      You make Norman look good, and Timmy a saint. Pedro doesn’t respond to you.

      You got the trifecta.

      • RE@DER says:

        “But are they contented? Do they show any gratitude? Not at all.
        Scarcely a day passes that I don’t hear of some fresh soldiering. And,
        what is worse, they have stirred up some of my own people–the
        carpenters, stone-cutters, gang bosses and so on. Every now and then my
        inspectors find some rotten libel cut on a stone–something to the
        effect that I am overworking them, and knocking them about, and holding
        them against their will, and generally mistreating them. I haven’t the
        slightest doubt that some of these inscriptions have actually gone into
        the pyramid: it’s impossible to watch every stone. Well, in the years to
        come, they will be dug out and read by strangers, and I will get a black
        eye. People will think of Cheops as a heartless old rapscallion–_me_,
        mind you! Can you beat it?”

        neolithic
        adjective [not gradable]
        belonging to the period when humans used tools and weapons made of stone and had just developed farming
        This area has been used as a burial ground since neolithic times.
        The Neolithic Period is sometimes called the New Stone Age.

        We are in the Neoliberal Period. Defined by eveything made with and paid for by plastic and delivered by people who used to own farms and horses and have awoken to discover cars and frozen foods.

  5. RE@DER says:

    “Anyhow, there are plenty of uglier things in Egypt. Look at some of
    those fifth-rate pyramids up the river. When it comes to shape they are
    pretty much the same as this one, and when it comes to size, they look
    like warts beside it. And look at the Sphinx. There is something that
    cost four millions if it cost a copper–and what is it now? A burlesque!
    A caricature! An architectural cripple! So long as it was _new_, good
    enough! It was a showy piece of work. People came all the way from
    Sicyonia and Tyre to gape at it. Everybody said it was one of the sights
    no one could afford to miss. But by and by a piece began to peel off
    here and another piece there, and then the nose cracked, and then an ear
    dropped off, and then one of the eyes began to get mushy and watery
    looking, and finally it was a mere smudge, a false-face, a scarecrow. My
    father spent a lot of money trying to fix it up, but what good did it
    do? By the time he had the nose cobbled the ears were loose again, and
    so on. In the end he gave it up as a bad job.”
    Iraq is going to be the second most expensive public works project after the Egyptian project. Fix it up fix it up. Got a loose ear again. Screw it and glue it.

  6. pedro says:

    Someone is taking bobbo’s chair. I see a tantrum coming

    • bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and junior culture critic says:

      Thanks Pedro. I see you posting, but to nothing offered by DU. That says a lot.

      Rant…… over.

      • Tim says:

        Have you no compassion, sir? No empathy? Just think what continuing to put co2 into the atmosphere is doing to the people in Sicyonia and Tyre. That’s important stuff warranting futher discussion.

        I put a little mag-lev mickydrone in acid, once… It said something about indians and solar flares and shit before it succumbed.

  7. RE@DER says:

    2686-2181 BC
    Background/Historical Information:

    King Menes united Upper and Lower Egypt in 2686 BC, establishing the new
    capitol in Memphis, from where the Pharaoh would rule with the support of a strong central government. The political basis of Egypt was a kingship in which the throne was passed on to the oldest son of the pharaoh. To maintain royalty, the pharaohs intermarried. The success of this government depended upon the loyalty and diligence of the governors. This was a complex and effective system. A vizier was the main power under the king, with the princes, courtiers, and provincial governors being on the next level, doorkeepers, soldiers and quarrymen succeeding them, followed by peasants and slaves.

    The function of the government was threefold.

    * One function was to locate and collect resources for the support of the court and its projects.
    * The second was to issue laws and variations of laws with detailed codes and punishments. This Egyptian basis for laws is known as Ma’at; their concept of justice and truth that went beyond present existence to include the ideal state of the universe.
    * The third function of the Egyptian government was to maintain subordinate position of the people. They could be forced into work for the government or service in the military.

    Want those days again? I dont want involved with them. They are corrupt and in debt.

  8. RE@DER says:

    Govt healthcare… Cure for Lesions of the Skin:
    After the scab has fallen off put on it: Scribe’s excrement. Mix in fresh milk and apply as a poultice.

    Cure for Cataracts:
    Mix brain-of-tortoise with honey. Place on the eye and say: There is a shouting in the southern sky in darkness, There is an uproar in the northern sky, The Hall of Pillars falls into the waters. The crew of the sun god bent their oars so that the heads at his side fall into the water, Who leads hither what he finds? I lead forth what I find. I lead forth your heads. I lift up your necks. I fasten what has been cut from you in its place. I lead you forth to drive away the god of Fevers and all possible deadly arts.

    To regulate urination:
    A measuring glass filled with water from the bird pond with elderberry, fibers of the asit plant, fresh milk, beer swill, flowers of the cucumber, and green dates – make into one, strain and take for four days.

  9. RE@DER says:

    The scene is the brow of the Hungerberg at Innsbruck. It is the half
    hour before sunset, and the whole lovely valley of the Inn_–still wie
    die Nacht, tief wie das Meer–_begins to glow with mauves and apple
    greens, apricots and silvery blues. Along the peaks of the great snowy
    mountains which shut it in, as if from the folly and misery of the
    world, there are touches of piercing primary colours–red, yellow,
    violet. Far below, hugging the winding river, lies little Innsbruck,
    with its checkerboard parks and Christmas garden villas. A battalion of
    Austrian soldiers, drilling in the Exerzierplatz, appears as an army of
    grey ants, now barely visible. Somewhere to the left, beyond the broad
    flank of the Hungerberg, the night train for Venice labours toward the
    town.

    It is a superbly beautiful scene, perhaps the most beautiful in all
    Europe. It has colour, dignity, repose. The Alps here come down a bit
    and so increase their spell. They are not the harsh precipices of
    Switzerland, nor the too charming stage mountains of the Trentino, but
    rotting billows of clouds and snow, the high flung waves of some titanic
    but stricken ocean. Now and then comes a faint clank of metal from the
    funicular railway, but the tracks themselves are hidden among the trees
    of the lower slopes. The tinkle of an angelus bell (or maybe it is only
    a sheep bell) is heard from afar. A great bird, an eagle or a falcon,
    sweeps across the crystal spaces. A Book of Burlesques.txt

    Waterford is done for and all the funding is for military services and war debts. Luxury goods are out and fraud is in. War is hell and hell is no luxury. Ring the sheep bell. We have an army of gray ants here. They seem to be hard at work, which would put an army of bureaucrats to shame.

  10. RE@DER says:

    For Americanos_

    From scented hotel soap, and from the Boy Scouts; from home cooking, and
    from pianos with mandolin attachments; from prohibition, and from Odd
    Fellows’ funerals; from Key West cigars, and from cold dinner plates;
    from transcendentalism, and from the New Freedom; from fat women in
    straight-front corsets, and from Philadelphia cream cheese; from _The
    Star-Spangled Banner_, and from the International Sunday-school Lessons;
    from rubber heels, and from the college spirit; from sulphate of
    quinine, and from Boston baked beans; from chivalry, and from
    laparotomy; from the dithyrambs of Herbert Kaufman, and from sport in
    all its hideous forms; from women with pointed fingernails, and from men
    with messianic delusions; from the retailers of smutty anecdotes about
    the Jews, and from the Lake Mohonk Conference; from Congressmen, vice
    crusaders, and the heresies of Henry Van Dyke; from jokes in the
    _Ladies’ Home Journal_, and from the Revised Statutes of the United
    States; from Colonial Dames, and from men who boast that they take cold
    shower-baths every morning; from the Drama League, and from malicious
    animal magnetism; from ham and eggs, and from the _Weltanschauung_ of
    Kansas; from the theory that a dark cigar is always a strong one, and
    from the theory that a horse-hair put into a bottle of water will turn
    into a snake; from campaigns against profanity, and from the Pentateuch;
    from anti-vivisection, and from women who do not smoke; from
    wine-openers, and from Methodists; from Armageddon, and from the belief
    that a bloodhound never makes a mistake; from sarcerdotal
    moving-pictures, and from virtuous chorus girls; from bungalows, and
    from cornets in B flat; from canned soups, and from women who leave
    everything to one’s honor; from detachable cuffs, and from _Lohengrin_;
    from unwilling motherhood, and from canary birds–good Lord, deliver us! A Book of Burlesques.txt

  11. RE@DER says:

    Cloak and dagger stories became part of the popular culture of the Cold War in both East and West, with innumerable novels and movies that showed how polarized and dangerous the world was.[1] Soviet audiences thrilled at spy stories showing how their KGB agents protected the motherland by foiling dirty work by America’s nefarious CIA, Britain’s devious MI-6, and Israel’s devilish Mossad. After 1963, Hollywood increasingly depicted the CIA as clowns (as in the comedy TV series “Get Smart”) or villains (as in Oliver Stone’s “JFK” (1992). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Culture_during_the_Cold_War

    “It was the autumn of the year 1950″; and from stories
    embodying quotations from Omar Khayyam, and full of a mellow pessimism;
    and from stories in which the gay nocturnal life of the Latin Quarter is
    described by an author living in Dubuque, Iowa; and from stories of
    thought transference, mental healing and haunted houses; and from
    newspaper stories in which a cub reporter solves the mystery of the
    Snodgrass murder and is promoted to dramatic critic on the field, or in
    which a city editor who smokes a corn-cob pipe falls in love with a
    sob-sister; and from stories about trained nurses, young dramatists,
    baseball players, heroic locomotive engineers, settlement workers,
    clergymen, yeggmen, cowboys, Italians, employés of the Hudson Bay
    Company and great detectives; and from stories in which the dissolute
    son of a department store owner tries to seduce a working girl in his
    father’s employ and then goes on the water wagon and marries her as a
    tribute to her virtue; and from stories in which the members of a
    yachting party are wrecked on a desert island in the South Pacific, and
    the niece of the owner of the yacht falls in love with the bo’sun; and
    from manuscripts accompanied by documents certifying that the incidents
    and people described are real, though cleverly disguised; and from
    authors who send in saucy notes when their offerings are returned with
    insincere thanks; and from lady authors who appear with satirical
    letters of introduction from the low, raffish rogues who edit rival
    magazines–good Lord, deliver us!

    Snowden is selling magazines for selling out the country.

    I.–The Rewards of Science_

    Once upon a time there was a surgeon who spent seven years perfecting an
    extraordinarily delicate and laborious operation for the cure of a rare
    and deadly disease. In the process he wore out $400 worth of knives and
    saws and used up $6,000 worth of ether, splints, guinea pigs, homeless
    dogs and bichloride of mercury. His board and lodging during the seven
    years came to $2,875. Finally he got a patient and performed the
    operation. It took eight hours and cost him $17 more than his fee of
    $20….

    One day, two months after the patient was discharged as cured, the
    surgeon stopped in his rambles to observe a street parade. It was the
    annual turnout of Good Hope Lodge, No. 72, of the Patriotic Order of
    American Rosicrucians. The cured patient, marching as Supreme Worthy
    Archon, wore a lavender baldric, a pea-green sash, an aluminum helmet
    and scarlet gauntlets, and carried an ormolu sword and the blue
    polka-dot flag of a rear-admiral….

    With a low cry the surgeon jumped down a sewer and was seen no more.

  12. whatiswrongwiththeotherguy says:

    Tattoo(s) banned? How the heck did Popeye get into the Navy?

    • popeye's notes says:

      ah hem… page 6.

      just say “skibbiddydodabop, slide on this you skinny midshipman”

    • Batshit NUTS says:

      Getting into the Navy is easy when you’re a blank slate KID! That’s how Popeye got in. Of course, that was a different generation too.

      These days, kids are encouraged to express themselves before they go and do something stupid like try and serve in the armed forces. And we all know just how smart kids are. Just look at that picture! (Hint: it doesn’t get any easier when they have liberal ass village elder retards teaching them.)

      • pedro says:

        The guy in the pic suffers a mental disorder but either he wasn’t given the proper care in time or fell into the liberal interpretation of the mental health profession we’ve been suffering for quite some time.

        • jpfitz says:

          What’s the opposing interpretation to mental health since you must know, please…do tell. I’d not have known that the whole of the mental health system was formed by the liberal agenda.

          Someone outta do a top ten like Letterman of that young “Man” in the photo.

          I hope those are all non-ferrous metal items on his body.

          The armed services have relaxed their requirements. Kids on street drugs and troubled are getting in. But tattoo’s, more tats may scare the “enemy”. COME ON!

          • pedro says:

            I didn’t say it was formed on a liberal agenda but rather it has been deformed by the liberal agenda.

            Kinda like thugs getting law degrees has brought down the legal system.

          • Tim says:

            Ohh, button up, pedro. And go and critique all of Reader’s posts.

          • jpfitz says:

            So, Pedro…You’re saying that the pharma industry is run by Liberals who have distorted healthcare with the outcome exampled in the photo posted by Mc.

            Or…he didn’t get help before he mutilated his body, especially since the guy doesn’t look like he belongs to a Amazonian tribe.

            Which, and do a top ten.

          • pedro says:

            What the hell does calling on the liberul agenda on the psychiatric/psychology profession has anything to do with the pharma industry? Geez! No wonder you don’t get a thing but have to say, is quite cute seeing you so adamantly defend the liberul agenda

            Wanna see the effects of the liberul agenda on those professions? Go have a look at the evolution of the DSM from the 70′s ’til today.

          • pedro says:

            The only link I can see between psychiatry and big pharma (although I didn’t bring up that link before) is how their abuse of drugs highlights liberul hypocrisy… if anything.

  13. RE@DER says:

    Witness if you will, a dungeon, made out of mountains, salt flats, and sand that stretch to infinity. The dungeon has an inmate: James A. Corry. And this is his residence: a metal shack. An old touring car that squats in the sun and goes nowhere – for there is nowhere to go. For the record, let it be known that James A. Corry is a convicted criminal placed in solitary confinement. Confinement in this case stretches as far as the eye can see, because this particular dungeon is on an asteroid nine-million miles from the Earth. Now witness, if you will, a man’s mind and body shriveling in the sun, a man dying of loneliness. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lonely_%28The_Twilight_Zone%29

    All the space shuttle funding went to Russia and we are spending more on prisons. If you are cruel, hear ye hear ye, space is a prison. Washington managed to turn all the promise into another prison and the schools are closing in Chicago. The racketeers are expanding. Now they need more troops? We’re going to an asteroid. Not exactly the moon or Mars. It’s not a police state, it’s a police galaxy. Now they can’t stop crime, so they’ve figured out how to make it a monopoly. Less honesty and no competition. Soaring new debt. Not much science funding though. More robots to clean up the mess the people made in Japan.

  14. Batshit NUTS says:

    For those of you who had thought bobbo was long winded and crazy (nothing new there)… We have a new winner!!! Take a wild fucking guess who that is.

    Either that or Bobbo’s alternate personality is off the meds again.

    I am reminded of a quotation I heard somewhere (Shakespeare’s Macbeth, I think), “Me thinks thou dost protest too much.”

    • Give it a rest says:

      Where did this incoherent, bandwidth wasting, add-nothing “contributor” come from?

      How about replacing all his/her posts with tinyurl links?

      RE@DING would be optional.

  15. jpfitz says:

    AGREED!!!! JCD or whoever is minding the store, please, oh please help us. Your loyal longtime community is being invaded by, well I don’t and won’t point my zeros and ones.

  16. Mr Diesel says:

    How about replacing RE@DER’s pablum with a link to Goatse.

    Be about as pertinent.

    • pedro says:

      More like linking to the never gonna give you up video.

      This blog has been rickroll’d

  17. ± says:

    If that loser votes, he votes R/D.

    • pedro says:

      D is the safest bet although I cannot see a will to vote on that subject

  18. Sea Lawyer says:

    Well, if we want to look back to the philosophical justifications of the welfare state to support the state’s capacity to mobilize the citizenry to fight wars; then I suppose that as part of the contract for gaining these welfare programs, citizens should be compelled to be eligible for conscription into military service.

    In this light, I’m all for outlawing obesity and body mutilation.

  19. Pierre Larsen says:

    Concerning the picture.

    That is one ugly alien.