I think they should call it Windows X. This is interesting because it looks like people at Microsoft are listening when you see the list of features they restored. Makes me wonder if they can get me to switch back from Linux?


  1. zeph says:

    Yeah! I love how they have flat icons and tiled windows, just like in Windows 2.0!

    …perhaps they should call this Windows II.

  2. Jeff says:

    Ah!!! The color shifting background!!! My eyes!!! The goggles do nothing!

  3. Just asking says:

    Couldn’t this douche have gotten a haircut?

    • X says:

      Why get a haircut when there are toupees (wigs) that make you look like a slightly more effeminate Adolf HITLER!

      Damn! I just couldn’t get past the strong resemblance he has with the 20th centuries worst criminal (minus the mustache). Though it is hard to say who’s really the worst of the 20th century with people like Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot and those thieving tech turds Bill Gates and Steve Jobs to consider.

  4. intrepid says:

    And where did this guy get his haircut?

  5. william says:

    I have now been using a windows 8 tablet at work for a week. It has crashed twice with a blue screen of some sort of death. There is plausible reason for the crash since it only runs one program. It seems impossible to get the windows tablet to accept regular touch at some points during the day so I have to find the pen it came with in order to operate it.

    Even more flucky is when it removed icons I use from the main screen.

    All in all it seems very crash prone and unstable. Its touch screen sometimes works. The screen randomly dims down even in the middle of putting data into it. It will at random times shut the screen down and when it restarts it sometimes asks for a password. It is super easy to select unwanted programs simply by picking up the tablet.

    So far it doesn’t match up to anything Andriod or Apple puts out.

    Windows 10 needs to at least match the user friendlyness of its competition. Corporations still think outdated and buy into this company but the public will not put up with this type of stuff.

  6. John E. Quantum says:

    Maybe this will be an id 10 T OS

  7. Retrospective says:

    Are there REALLY any new innovations left in pushing boxes around a display screen?

    Screw the plain pastel rectangles and flat buttons.

    Give me a SteamPunk theme alternative (gears, machine sounds, polished 3-D brass edges, etc.)!

    Documents should show as parchment with curled edges and “age” with use. Battery life should show as a dying flame. Song progress should show as a tone arm on a spinning vinyl record. Playlists should show as a stack of records.

    Not for everyone. But hey, why not?

    • X says:

      Why not? Why NOT?!

      I don’t know. Maybe EVOLUTION!

      … But if you’re happy living in the past, you can be sure you’re not alone. Most people don’t care to look forward when their hoo-hoo’s and ha-ha’s are usually BEHIND them.

      • Retrospective says:

        I love the future! Even some modern art.

        But I also love a historical museum.

    • The Monster's Lawyer says:

      I like your theme vision. I believe you should begin working on it now! The technology and tools exist now for free for you to do this.

  8. Tim says:

    “…search is back…”

    I thought this must be a parody. Then I checked ARS. Currently, I’m boning up on how to conceal a suicide by making it look like the government killed me via autoerotic asphyxiation. <– (that is satire, fucking feds… don't touch my dick)

    Win7 doesn't have *search* unless one allows the fed-friendly directory list formatter "indexing service" to, umm, run. You literally can't find a document in a folder your looking at with only that one file in it and using 'advanced search' otherwise. It's why I still use XP.

    • X says:

      This hardly needs explaining. But if you’re still using XP and somehow think the feds are NOT watching/cataloging you, YOU’RE AN IDIOT!

  9. Bill Burke says:

    Windows X sounds good. Soon we will shorten it to “Windex”.

    • ± says:

                           And you heard it here first on dvorak.org !

    • Marc Perkel says:

      I —- like it!

    • X says:

      Calling it Windows is misleading because Microsoft’s version is hardly anything to look at, into, out of, or even through when it’s all so CLOSED OFF and all. They should really call it DOORS!

      Oh, but wait. There are those Jim Morrison fans to consider. So maybe they should call it WALLS? Or maybe even LOCKS! I can even see the more descriptive intentional misspellings too. (“Microsoft sure got a lot of fools to swallow their latest edition of cock and balls again.”)

        • jpfitz says:

          A 2008 video for dummies, sorry but Vista is on one of my machines and still going strong since 08′. Some people just can’t handle change.

          I’ve had better experiences removing viruses on Vista than all the family and friends who are still on XP. Every time family or friends of friends would come to me to remove a virus on XP I would. Though some would just format then do a clean install.

  10. Connell says:

    Yes..”You will be able to give your input” It seems like a about face from Win 8, Where MS simply gave the finger to the Windows public, and told everyone they were not going to ask your freaking input in Win8. Take if or leave it..and many did just that. Leave it! F.U MS!

  11. Harry says:

    I can’t believe how many doctors are still using XP, that must have set off some warning bells at MS.

    • jpfitz says:

      Every hospital setting is running windows. ICU, CCU, emergency units, etc. etc., they are on wheels pushing these battery powered units containing I.D. scanners and a large monitor all running windows 7. I asked several nurses and they all replied the machines are running just fine. No crashes. Well maybe when they run over a visitors foot or into a wall with the machines. The machines are all on a secured network. There is an open network visitors can use.

  12. Marc Perkel says:

    If Microsoft did call it Windows X then Apple will sue for trademark infringement claiming to own the letter X.

    • X says:

      … Or maybe Malcolm will rise from the dead.

      … Or maybe Vin Diesel (aka Triple X) will.

      … Or maybe a PIRATE will!

      Get serious. I’d say get “real” but YOU seem to have that copyright.

  13. Anonymous coward says:

    “Multiple desktops”

    Wow, a feature available on Mac since 2007

  14. memesisai says:

    Here is all the stuff we screwed up last time put back the way it was before. Give us another 400 dollars. This reminds me of adobe.

  15. Scott M. says:

    I agree, the mop top (which does indeed look like a hair piece) is not flattering on a 45 year old. I just hope it was hiding a serious scar on his forehead or that part of his left ear is missing and this is his way of presenting to the world.

    Tiles and touch computing may make using a computer easier for a 4 year old, but it’s a p.i.t.a. for people who prefer a start menu. Start menu returns = A good thing.

    Playing with screen real estate? Seriously? Look how I can position my windows! Deck chairs I say.

    That &^%^& windows search is constantly pushing my computer into lag mode. When I kill it with task manager, the lag is gone. I know where everything is on my hard drive. It’s called a directory structure.

    So the only reason to get this vaporware is it restores a feature which should never have been deleted in the first place. Innovation in retrograde. <- Feel free to use it.

    • jpfitz says:

      Then turn off indexing of all your hard drives. Use advanced search and then search drives not indexed. What’s the difficulty in optimizing.

      • Tim says:

        Use advanced search and then search drives not indexed

        What? fffffffffFFFFFFUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!! Now I don’t even have *search* in my start menu to try that. Muck Fe.

        • jpfitz says:

          http://tomshardware.com/forum/2054-63-should-disabledisk-indexing. “I turn indexing off because I hardly ever have to search my drives. One of the downsides to this in Windows 7 is that it seems to eliminate the search option altogether (for files, you can still search the Start Menu). Fortunately I have my own search program that I use for those few times I need to find something.”

          A quick G search

          • Tim says:

            I got so dejected that my left damn nut fell off searching (<– see what I did there?) for just such an 'non-indexed' option. I think I know what may have happened:

            Upon a new install of anything M$, the first service (using serviwin) to be shitcanned is indexing 'service'. That one usually stays silent for minutes to hours after a new install so that one doesn't immediately hear his drives thrashing about and realize what a dirty whore he just stuck his bus into. Now what I'm *suspecting* is that damn service needs to run 'a little bit' to even recognize there are drives in the machine or have that 'non indexed drives' option???

            ^^ I believe it's still fucked. Can anyone else confirm??

  16. Z9Black says:

    *sigh* More Windows dressing (punwhatever) while ignoring fundamental changes that need making.

    Let’s start with… why the hell is the Registry still around? A good idea ruined in implementation: important settings all in one place… then hidden behind cryptic names and nonsense organization.

    They want the whole ‘app’ idea.. how about some containment? Force apps into their own little sandbox.. none of this ‘let’s toss crap into /system.. and then more in /users … and then…

    This is far enough in the future that they should drop the hammer down and focus on cleaning up the core.

    Legacy is a hell of a thing..

  17. Likes2LOL says:

    As valedictorian of both her high school and college graduating classes, my mother later became certified to teach both math and English. In fact, she was the one who taught me how to count.

    Speaking of which, how about that Windows version numbering system?
    3.0 / 3.1 / 3.11 (Windows for Workgroups)
    95 (Version 4?)
    98/98SE (Version 5/5.1?)
    Me/2000 (Version 6?)
    XP (Version 7?)
    Vista (Version 8?)
    7 (Version 9?)
    8 / 8.1 (Version 10/10.1?)

    If the folks at Microsoft were smart, they’d stick to naming Windows versions based on calendar years, like car manufacturers. But, apparently, they’re not smart.

    Just a reminder, how it works: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, or
    2000, 2001, 2002, 2003…

  18. beavis-or-butthead says:

    Not sure why MS just don’t buy Stardock outright so they could release Win 8.2 which would include Stardock’s $5 “Start8” utility which brings back the start menu nicely. Win 8 seemed like a real step backward. Then I found Start8 last year and all my griping stopped.

    Try it out for 30 days free.


    Five bucks and you are back in business!!!!

    • jpfitz says:

      Makes Vista look like a Mac, very pretty, the Stardock. I used Stardock for about a year. I like change.

  19. Dave says:

    I know Apple dudes look hipster or pretentious, but THIS guy… he looks like an absolute douche bag.

    • Kerpow says:

      This guy. This fucking guy is the perfect representation of everything wrong with Windows. He can’t tell if he wants to be super hip or a soccer dad. The result is an abortion that lives somewhere in the middle.

  20. pixelriffic says:

    I think they should make it go to eleven!

  21. jpfitz says:

    I don’t understand all the hype about the messengers hair. Man, you guys gotta get over your receding hairline. Who cares about his hair, concentrate on the subject, win 10. Blast the software not the guy in the video. You’re all shallow. Nah.

  22. jdmurray says:

    Oh no! M$ brought back the non-overlapped, tiled windows GUI of Windows 1.0!

    Windows 10 = Windows 1.0

    What’s old is new again.

  23. jpfitz says:

    There, their, then, than…I pity the foreigner learning English. I try so hard but a there always slips when it sb their.

    Please no Windows X, name it anything but, why not 8.2?

  24. Tim fixing fucked up non-mappable keys in shitty console ports since mid 2011 or so says:

    Jp, here is an AHK script to ‘mousedrive’ and fix the deadzone in ProStreet:

    #SingleInstance force ; <– stops the nag box when editing *on the fly*

    ; —————————————————-
    ; autoexecute section
    ; —————————————————–

    ; Try to 'skip' across the deadzone (only interested in x-axis for now)
    ; screen center is 639,512 for 1280×1024
    ;rediculous deadzone in NFSPS
    ; 585 601 is aligned
    ; no 'dead center' doesn't seem to detract here — drives great! Either edge is 'straight'

    Deadzone_left_edge = 585
    Deadzone_right_edge = 601
    Deadzone_overshoot = 1
    SetGas = 435
    Center_Wheel := Deadzone_right_edge + 1
    MouseGetPos, xpos, ypos
    ;if not GetKeyState("Alt") ;hold alt to disable deadzone skip for testing

    if xpos between %Deadzone_left_edge% and %Deadzone_right_edge%
    if (xpos < lastpos)
    { ; it's moving left
    xpos := Deadzone_left_edge – Deadzone_overshoot
    mousemove %xpos% , %ypos%
    ; soundbeep 880,2
    { ; it's moving right
    xpos := Deadzone_right_edge + Deadzone_overshoot
    mousemove %xpos% , %ypos%
    ;soundbeep 1040,2
    lastpos = %xpos%
    } ;close loop


    ; ———————————————————–
    ; end autoexecute… now define hotkeys (remapping)
    ; ———————————————————–



    Send {blind}{b down}
    sleep 100
    send {blind}{b up}

    Send {blind}{n down}
    sleep 100
    Send {blind}{n up}
    ;center wheel and Bias throttle
    mousemove %Center_Wheel% , %SetGas%
    soundbeep 936 , 50

    • Tim says:

      ^^ that *did* have indents which these comments ‘sanitize’ for some reason.

    • jpfitz says:

      I’m guessing this game is on Steam? Don’t have access to my desktop right now. Damn it no more demonoid, to trust.

      • Tim says:

        Umm… Piracy is theft, don’cha know?? It matters not that when someone steels my shit it is not usually still right where I left it.

        Only very unsavory people would click this link:



        • jpfitz says:

          It’s about sharing the booty.


          • Tim says:

            “Aye!”, meaning “yes, definately”, is usually encountered in bowdlerized, sanitized dielects of common vernacular pirate. While it ‘is’ a piratey word, Its’ use is considered gosh in polite company and its’ faux popularity more likely dervives from more ‘puritanical’ entities such as The Navy.

            It is more commonly used in tounges that do not recognize ‘Yarr!’ and ‘Garr!’ so that its’ etymology is called into question and could be the ‘smoking gun’ in a coverup and attempt to completely rewrite history.


            ^^ Hmm. The Internet seems polluted with it like Google topsite links to Amazon, Ebay, and Yahoo! Answers.

            How to talk like a pirate:

        • Tim says:

          you numbnuts ever heard of magnet links?? DHT??

          • jpfitz says:

            Numbnuts, an excellent and rarely used term of endearment. I used that term often years ago, good to see it hasn’t been forgotten.

  25. Greg Allen says:

    Shut up and install Ubuntu.

    For the vast majority of people, there is no reason to use Windows.

  26. KMFIX says:

    Where did they get the 45 year old Justin Beiber?

    • Tim says:

      Hmmm. I’ve not seen him adorning Drudge for quite some time, come to think of it… That could be The Beibler.

      Ohh! My Beibler, I’ve finally found you;
      You promise search and Windows new;
      Yu hoo hoo…..
      Every moment I adore you;
      And now, my desktop’s default blue…

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