The Norwegian manufacturers of Comfyballs underwear said the U.S. patent office told them the brand name is too “vulgar” to trademark.

Company founder Anders Selvig said officials filed an application with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office earlier this year with an aim toward bringing the products to the North American market, but the office’s reply said the name was too “vulgar” to trademark.

“The mark does not create a double entendre or other idiomatic expression… When used in this way, the word ‘balls’ has an offensive meaning,” the office said in its reply to Comfyballs.

The ruling came after lobbying against the brand by One Million Moms, a wing of the American Family Association aimed at fighting “indecency…”

Selvig called on the patent office to review its guidelines.

“The trademarks ‘Nice Balls’ and ‘I love my balls’ have recently both been approved by the USPTO,” Selvig told The Telegraph. “Luckily, Europeans have a softer view on what is deemed to be vulgar and the European Union allowed Comfyballs to trademark without hassle earlier this year.”

Comfyballs is named for its “PackageFront technology,” which the company says creates “ultimate comfort by reducing heat transfer and restricting movement.”

If you thought the Christian Taliban was going to mellow out anytime soon – have another think. With a Republican-controlled Congress we will be seeing support for the Morality Police in every possible form for the next couple of years.

Don’t be surprised if they bring back the stocks and the mandatory wearing of Scarlet Letters.

  1. spsffan says:

    Eh! Corporate trademarks aren’t protected free speech. They are a license to use monopoly power, granted and backed by the state.

    I’m by no stretch of the imagination a prude, more like the opposite, but there are bigger fish to fry.

  2. ± says:

    But Duluth Trading can protect their Ballroom® Jeans. I guess you need to know who and how much to pay.

  3. MikeN says:

    No complaints about taking away the Redskins trademark, which has been around for 80 years or so. But something that doesn’t meet your juvenile tastes, that has got to go!

  4. Hanes says:

    Yea. Dew-Absorbant, Downy, Wide-Stance Nutsack Cradles™ didn’t swing well with repubs either… They ate them up after we called them ‘Depends’ though.

    Authorized branding is all about appealing to the current impositor demographic (and their mums).

  5. That's What She Said says:

    “Where’s the beef?” (that’s what she said)

    “I just shipped my pants!”

    “Chock Full O’Nuts”

    “Come now.” (that’s what she said)

  6. Ball Bearring says:

    Funny how the same racism and bigotry thinking is alive and well on the left side when morons like Eideard use such broad brush strokes as to say how ALL republican’s are prudes and are somehow willing to bring back the 1600’s or whatever.

    We’ll just never mind how all your leftists socialism within the last century has created a welfare state the likes of which have never been seen before nor how your leftist values have helped in areas like public education. We won’t even look at your leftist utopia — Detroit, Michigan! We all know how much you want to make things fair and equal with no regard whatsoever to human traits like motivation, drive nor any of those other horrible capitalistic qualities that probably helped employ your ass!

    That said, I may not agree with the Patent Office turning this down. It does seem silly to object to using the word “balls” or even “pussy” when describing underwear. What I find offensive is how the reporting of this insignificant tripe is so skewed to the point of somehow making it the fault of a political group of people who aren’t even in power (yet)!

    Care to know who those USPTO people are? Look them up for yourself! (Hint: the MAJORITY are DEMOCRATS!!!)

    • NewFormatSux says:

      Plus their plan for cars it to go back to technology from the 19th century. Energy plans go back even farther.

  7. ± says:

    [off topic, sorry]

    Ahhhhhh. Is it me, or has the air in here fresher since midnight 30Nov?

    Disingenuous conservatives like pedro take note.

    And I’m guessing, honest, misguided liberals like Phydeau have nothing to worry about. They are entertaining. As is broken keyboard ECA and fundy Alfie in his different guises. Their distinction is honesty in their positions (but I could be wrong).

  8. Peppeddu says:

    So, by the same token the trademark “Coke” should be revoked because it’s also the name of am illegal drug, thus immoral?

    Or perhaps if it’s not, I can trademark the name LSD, Marijuana, Ecstasy, etc and sell edible goods with those names.

    So which one is it?

    • jpfitz says:

      I didn’t know the patent office were also the morality police of product naming. If a product was blatantly offensive then I would concur. But comfyballs sounds decent, just as moral as the ads on telly for viagra, Trojan condoms and those vibrators. Where is the outcry about contraceptives being advertised. I thought every sperm was sacred. Or is that sperm thing just a Catholic mantra?

      • Marc Pugner says:

        i was just about to point this out myself. we have commercials for boner pills and vaginal dryness products on prime time TV, but comfyballs underwear? that’s just one too far i guess.

  9. Mitt Ster says:

    Hey! Corporations are people too my friend! People either have freedom of speech or they don’t.
    It’s not like yelling FIRE in a crowded building. MOMS!!


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