speedlink mini cooper

Women are even nicer than cars. So to be office friendly, I made it so you have to follow the link for the report.

Women are wonderful. As mothers, as sisters, as friends. The female body is a beautiful thing. So why not channel our sex drive into commerce by using lovely ladies to promote their wares? Commonly known as “booth babes” or worse, these women actually provide a vital service to industry by reminding men why they compete. There are three basic types of these charming ladies, with many iterations, each with a role as defined as a bee in a hive.

airbrush body art at CeBIT  hiper models at CeBIT model at CeBIT skins model at CeBIT sushi model at CeBIT speedlink models at CeBIT 

igo model at CeBIT see what matters models at CeBIT  

Image models are hired specifically to draw traffic to the booth. There is a small subset of these ladies, however, who are knowledgeable about the company’s wares and are highly prized as they can both bait and pitch. Many of the latter are actually working for the sales or marketing department. They often dressing conservatively to avoid having you assume they are of the former type. (Yet somehow it makes them look even more appealing to me.) The charming ladies at the Sushi phone jewelry stand are perfect examples of both versions of the latter type.  I’ll comment on the explosion of gadget personalization in my CeBIT tech roundup in a day or so. I love it when the booth message creates a visual pun. ( Did you see the Intel roaming docent in the doorway inthe background of image #2?)

models at CeBIT
Sex and violins. I had to say it.

2DF models at CeBIT candy models at CeBIT enteo models at CeBIT freenet model at CeBIT vodaphone models at CeBIT samsung models at CeBIT cyberpower model at CeBIT flybook model at CeBIT 2007

Docents are charming ladies, usually in uniform, who man the booth, walking around and answering questions. These ladies are prized more for their pleasant disposition, friendly attitude, and ability to express themselves. A subset of these man the information stand, handing out company materials and various tchotchkes carrying the company logo. (I have what I call a “tchotchke index” where I gauge the health of an industry by the average value of the tchotchkes given out by the exhibitors. (If every booth at a show is giving away halloween candy, that industry is in a death spiral.) Note some of the elaborate booths in the background, some as large as a football field. (I’m going to talk about the devices the ladies are holding in upcoming posts, don’t worry.)

models at CeBIT boa models at CeBIT boa models at CeBIT intel models at CeBIT intel models at CeBIT yukatel models at CeBIT yukatel models at CeBIT

Free-range ladies roam the aisles of the trade show and drive traffic to their companies’ booths. They can be of either the model or docent varieties. The former is usually escorted by the latter to keep them out of trouble. You can usually tell which one is which. Uniforms are the norm for these ladies, and some companies go as far as to give all their docents a branded look. The ladies in the last pair of images demonstrated some imagination with their signage (they told me it was the brunette’s idea, and I believe them).

bonapart models at CeBIT scotland models at CeBIT 

Sometimes they’re even guys. (The Asian lady in the Scotland image was a show attendee who was having her her picture taken with the group by a friend when I came upon them.)

models at CeBIT

These ladies worked the beer hall on the fairgrounds, which was once used at the German pavilion at the New York World’s Fair. I’ll post about that place and the wild international drunk trade show beerfest that went on there in a separate post. The lady on the right was our server and told us she was a medical student from Munich working the show for some extra dough.



  1. Fred Flint says:

    [Edited – if you have a complaint, make it specific.]

  2. Lauren the Ghoti says:

    Broad Brush Alert, Alix! (pun purely unintentional)

    How about “Most women are even nicer than most cars”?

    You couldn’t’ve forgotten Anna Nicole that quickly, could you? The only thing she was nicer than might’ve been a Trabant. A Trabant without an engine. 🙂

  3. Jägermeister says:

    #2 – …Anna Nicole… Trabant …

    Anna was comparable with the Trabi… she was made from Duroplast and never reach full speed on those two cylinders…

  4. Fred Flint says:

    Re: #1,

    I was an editor for a long time and there is a difference between editing and simply censoring something because you don’t like the content.

    Nevermind!

  5. hhopper says:

    There’s almost nothing more enjoyable than looking at a beautiful woman. It just feels good.

  6. Smartalix says:

    5,

    This is a blog. If you want to rant, go somewhere else. If you have valid criticism, say it. Otherwise you’re just being a jerk.

  7. hhopper says:

    [Edited – if you read the “about us” you will see this: “Users may register and submit posts for consideration. Anyone wishing to contribute to the blog should contact john@dvorak.org for guidelines.”]

  8. Fred Flint says:

    7,

    Sorry I didn’t like the photos and found them appropriate. I’ll try harder to like them next time.

    Live Long and Prosper!

  9. Smartalix says:

    9,

    Then all you have to do is bypass the post, none of these images (beyond the first, which is just a girl sitting on a car) is visible on the home page. You aren’t being forced to view any of the “risque” images.

  10. James Hill says:

    Thank you for keeping the image office friendly.

  11. Fred Flint says:

    10,

    Somehow this got out of hand and I can’t even remember my original comment, so I know it wasn’t very important.

    I’ll tell you what: don’t post this comment and that gives you the last word. That would be more than fine with me.

    Or…. post it and then respond but I’m outta here.

  12. Mike T says:

    Regardless of whether or not you think that the girls look good (and they do), I will say this…

    It would seem that we should have come to the point where females can be more productive at shows like this than just to use them as eye candy. I mean, this just seems like something from another decade.

    First, if I was a women and I was asked to wear something like some of these so-called uniforms, I would tell my boss to go pound sand. Second, if I was the boss, I could not ask a woman to wear something like this for her job. I would feel like a total a$$.

    Mike T

  13. Smartalix says:

    14,

    No problem, you never said anything intelligent anyway.

    15,

    Sex sells, sadly(?)


0

Bad Behavior has blocked 9297 access attempts in the last 7 days.