This is an absolute classic video that apparently was done as a joke for a sales meeting or something around 1997. I’m sure a reader knows the source. Whatever the case Professor Irwin Corey could not have done this better.

found by Ed Casati



  1. xwing71 says:

    He forgot about the knibbling pin that goes in the anti-wobbling hole.

  2. BubbaRay says:

    He forgot the reverse polarization for the neutrino flux in the deflector shield and remodulation of the warp core which would destroy the bioneural gel packs, resulting in a polaron cascade burst in the impulse drive and subsequent anti-proton effects on the warp nacelles which could render subspace communications impossible for years. Adios, universe-net.

  3. Greymoon says:

    I for one welcome our new techno-babble-headed overlord.

  4. Mark T. says:

    What a fantastic disinformation video! I bet the Russians would have spent a month trying to decipher all that only to find out it was bunk.

    “Comrade, we must close the “retro-encapulator” gap.”

  5. James Orlowski says:

    I’ve worked with that actor. He’s very good at his job.

    I’ve done plenty of corporate videos that weren’t too far off this parody.

  6. Ben Waymark says:

    Fantastic! One of those machines would be excellent to make sure the flux capacitor doesn’t overload the warp containment field of the hyperdrive.

  7. BdgBill says:

    I think this all my friends and colleagues hear when I say things like:

    “You keep getting viruses because you are downloading MP3’s from Kazaa”

    “Stop writing your password on a sticky note attached to your monitor”

    “If you buy a machine with Vista, I will no longer help you with anything and you will be on your own.”

  8. Rick says:

    What will this do in the Steve Jobs Reality Distorion Field?

  9. Les says:

    He forgot to reverse the neutron flow!

  10. Mr. Fusion says:

    The miniatured version is called the iPhone. And it still drops calls.

  11. klaatu says:

    Would this technology help Microsoft with their game console problems?

  12. Simple says:

    This classic is pure beauty:

    http://asuwlink.uwyo.edu/~jimkirk/guidance.wav

  13. BubbaRay says:

    @12, Simple, by subtracting where I was from where I’ll be in just a second or so, I compute that I was never actually here. 🙂

  14. Iamanassholetoo says:

    Darn, I just realized he forgot to mention the chrome muffler bearing!
    give him an incomplete.


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