Test pilot

Patent #6,055,910: Fart Powered Missile

A toy gas-fired missile and launcher assembly whose missile is composed of a soft head and a tail extending therefrom formed by a piston. […] To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its valve open adjacent his anal region from which a colonic gas is discharged. The piston is then withdrawn to a degree producing a negative pressure to inhale the gas into the combustion chamber to intermix with the air therein to create a combustible mixture. The ignitor is then activated to explode the mixture in the chamber and fire the missile into space.

SUMMARY OF INVENTION

In view of the foregoing, the main object of this invention is to provide a safe toy which exploits the combustible properties of flatus to fire a toy missile into space.

More particularly an object of this invention is to provide a toy gas-fired missile and launcher assembly collect in a combustion chamber an explosive mixture derived from a colonic mixture emanating from the operator of the toy.

You’re laughing. I bet you are. How could a guy get something like this patented? You’ll be crying when the day comes when we see that the inventor has sold this to the military for a (dare I say it) crap load of money.



  1. Mr. Fusion says:

    Only in America

  2. Hey Mac says:

    The ultimate concealed weapon.

  3. Me says:

    Igniting farts contributes to Global Warming.

  4. Sean says:

    Oh man… well, at least the person receiving the patent actually invented the thing, and it’s reasonably non-obvious (for good reasons).

  5. joshua says:

    flaming a$$holes……sounds like an internet blog to me.

  6. Wayne says:

    I made it without laughing up until “anal region”…

  7. James says:

    I KNEW YOU WOULD all blog on this! You all have filthy minds!

    P.S. I made it without laughing until reading the blogs! (Snickering doesn’t count!)

  8. Jean DuNord says:

    I guess all it takes is to steal the idea from a cute little movie called ‘Thunderpants’. Poor Patrick Smash is born with 2 stomachs and is ultra flatulent. His dream of being an astronaut is realized when he ‘powers’ a craft that rescues the crew of a space station.
    It’s one of those movies that looks like a kids flick but has enough undercurrents to make it enjoyable for adults too, particularly if you can rip off the idea and patent it!


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