| I know, I know. Some of you will think this is a scam to skim money from the naive. But this is an excellent, high-tech solution to a perplexing problem that has baffled many for a long time — how to taunt those who doubted your beliefs with a dose of “neener neener neener.” |
Website Lets You Send a Post-Rapture E-Mail to Friends ‘Left Behind’
If millions of Christians suddenly disappear from the face of the Earth as the opening act for Armageddon, Threat Level thinks most nonbelievers will be too busy freaking the hell out to check their e-mail. But if they do log in, now they can be treated to some post-Rapture needling from their missing friends and loved ones, courtesy of web startup YouveBeenLeftBehind.com.
For just $40 a year, believers can arrange for up to 62 people to get a final message exactly six days after the Rapture, that day when — according to Christian end times dogma — Christians will be swept up to heaven, while doubters are left behind to suffer seven years of Tribulation under a global government headed by the Antichrist.
“You’ve Been Left Behind gives you one last opportunity to reach your lost family and friends for Christ,” reads the website, which is purportedly run “by Christians, for Christians.” The domain name is registered through an anonymous proxy service, presumably to protect the proprietors from the Forces of Darkness, and not because they’re up to anything shady.
Read the whole article for a comment from the site owner.
This site is for idiots.
They should do well.
Some folks like to call atheism a belief. Some folks have trouble understanding that atheism is a lack of belief in the supernatural. If your not believing their beliefs then you must believe in something else. Those folks need a master, if none is available, they will create a fictitious one for themselves. They are to be pitied not ridiculed. They are the slaves of the worldly masters who use their mental deficiencies as tools to control them.
What is wrong with others joining in to milk the simple if they insist on retaining their simplicity. It is what they want. To feel good about their future according to how their masters have told them it would be. One more hand in the trough is just helping re-distribute the wealth today.
Wasn’t 1998 kind of a while ago?
#30 Mister Mustard,
I was being sarcastic about having never heard The First Noél.
I can however say frankly and honestly that I have never heard this second song you’ve quoted. I don’t know much about double doggy dare’s but that is the honest truth.
We regret to inform you that the Rapture already took place in 2001, and there were only 26 true believers taken. They are, at this very moment, deliriously happy in heaven and send you all a personal message of “neener neener.” Unfortunately, their emails with that same theme were caught and discarded by the primitive spam filters of 2001. Oops.
So it turns out that the last 7 years have actually been the Tribulation after all. It really has kinda sucked, but it wasn’t as bad as we thought it might be. And now, let me open the envelope to reveal the name of the Anti-Christ who has been pulling all the strings on world events during this Tribulation……..
Wow! Let’s have a round of applause for Lynne Cheney. She flew completely under my evil-detecting radar. The forces of darkness have been an equal opportunity bunch ever since Eve, though, but still I’m surprised. Congratulations to all the runners-up as well. You were all very evil in your own way.
But once again, those 26 in heaven just want all their former friends, and especially all the people who made fun of them in high school, to know that they were taken and you weren’t, so there!
>>I can however say frankly and honestly that I
>>have never heard this second song you’ve quoted.
What, you’ve never heard Christmas carols? Jeez.
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to thy Perfect Light
Born a King on Bethlehem’s plain
Gold I bring to crown Him again
King forever, ceasing never
Over us all to rein
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
Frankincense to offer have I
Incense owns a Deity nigh
Pray’r and praising, all men raising
Worship Him, God most high
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume
Breathes of life of gathering gloom
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying
Sealed in the stone-cold tomb
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
Glorious now behold Him arise
King and God and Sacrifice
Alleluia, Alleluia
Earth to heav’n replies
O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light
Hey, I just received an e-mail from Heaven. She’s hot and she wants me.
>>So it turns out that the last 7 years have
>>actually been the Tribulation after all.
Now THAT, I believe.
Wow…Bobbo actually believes that the poster really thinks this is a good idea? Please keep him away from all forms of humor more subtle than the 3 stooges..^_^. (Albeit, not much more subtle..).
Prize to Gary the dangerous infidel for what will certainly be response of the day. Thank you Gary.
E-Mails from Heaven ? I though those were THUNDERBOLTS !!! Don’t need a PC or Modem for those, and there is no “Reply” button either !!!
I’m still waiting on my email from the last rapture.
I wonder if the senders of such post rapture emails wouldn’t really rather send e-bombs.
Think about it. If one is so good that one deserves to get into heaven, why send a message back saying essentially “nah nah na nah nah I got into heaven!!”
An old proverb:
A fool and his money are soon parted…
This is a scheme to rip-off people who’s believe in their faith more than in common sense. All your faith-bashing here is total BS.
Atheism is a religion because Atheists are always preaching it to everyone, they are just as selfish and arrogant as any right-wing religious nut-job.
You faith-bashers are nothing more than pots calling the kettle black.
Hypocrites!!
#43 – BigBoyBC,
Presumably then possessors of spelling checkers are also a religion for the same reason, right? Those of us with spelling checkers constantly like to recommend them to others who cannot spell properly for themselves.
BTW, get firefox 2.x it has a built in spelling checker that may help make your posts read a little better to the rest of us.
— Hypocrite.
So who’s is going to send the e-mail? Unless these people know when the rapture is going to happen. Or is god going to start the 6 day count down when he does the rapture?
>>BTW, get firefox 2.x it has a built in spelling
>>checker that may help make your posts read a little
>>better to the rest of us.
Try the Firefox 3.0 beta, Scottie. It rocks.
damnit, why didnt I think of this?
>>So who’s is going to send the e-mail? Unless these
>>people know when the rapture is going to happen.
Dead-man’s switch, son. Google it.
#5 – bobbo – Talk about filtering everything thru your own mustard flaked lens of distortion.
lol 😀
#46 – Mister Mustard,
Wasn’t aware 3.0 beta was out yet. Downloading it now. Thanks for the tip.
#39–shin==read the top post without any history with Uncle Dave and he calls it excellent technology and even posts the thread in the technology section. Yes, there is a slight disparagement with the neener neener comment but what would you call sending email from the other side?
Very timely post above regarding the operation of the right parahippocampal gyrus. Hope you get a chance to read it.
#49–Jag==it was unfair of me to say Mustard views these things thru a distorted lens. It could be more simply just the mustard flakes.
>>it was unfair of me to say Mustard views these
>>things thru a distorted lens. It could be more
>>simply just the mustard flakes.
An alternative might be that you are so confused by your weird punctuation and your pretzel logic that you don’t know what the fuck is going on 😉
I’m going with that option.
#51 – bobbo
Close-up…
#53–Jag==I didn’t think it was actually possible to view the world thru a mustard flaked lens of distortion. Mr Mustard only provided an inference it was possible; you provide the PROOF! Amazing technology we have here if we have the time to master it? Thanks for the lesson and great pic!
BTW–is that the real Mr Mustard or just a co-conspirator?
51
It may well be an interesting high tech solution. The fact that it’s to a problem that has perplexed maybe 3 people ever is sort of the giveaway here…^_^ neener neener neener….
bobbo, you’re rambling again.
#54 – bobbo
Another shot, without glasses… or perhaps it’s his doppelgänger…
#55–Shin==do you have any stats at all on how many end of days/rapture folks there are out there? I don’t. It makes sense to me that many of these folks would have some concerns about those of us left behind?? Thats just being a caring human being. Regardless, I don’t see how the number of those folks affects whatever you think is being given away. Most problems in the world only affect a small percentage of people. Problems that affect a large percentage of people are called “conditions.”
Give it a third read. Uncle Dave was only being slightly denigrating. I was being sarcastic. You having great sarcasm radar were simply out of the relevant context to pick up on it. Like the intelligent newbie posters who complain about “moran.” Its all prior knowledge, exposure, context.
#56 – Mister Mustard
# 44 Misanthropic Scott,
Can’t argue the point, so you attack the person making the point. What a petty and childish tactic.