Sit back. Relax. Take a sip. On this St. Patrick’s Day, 40-year-old [Steve Charlton] has a story to tell.
[…]
This story involves a young man, six lucky numbers and — there’s no way to avoid this part, so here it is — a sex toy the size of Charlton’s forearm.
[…]
One day -—March 11, 1992 — Charlton was driving home from work. He needed an oil change.Charlton sat in the lobby of the quick lube garage as they changed his oil. Suddenly, he remembered what was in his backseat.
“Finding no way to explain why it was there, and not having given them any name or information, the plan I came up with was to go to the Kwik-E-Mart-type place next door, use their ATM machine to get cash, come back, give them a fake name, pay in cash — then never return to this place again,” Charlton said.
“I knew they were going to see it back there.”
Getting money from the convenience store’s ATM, he felt guilty that he was not buying anything.
“Gimme five lottery tickets,” he told the cashier.
Just four more years left on his payout. Hope he is readying himself to live without that $70K/yr bonus.
Now THAT is the American Dream!
It’s funny how embarrassment drove him to hatch the plan… yet when you become a millionaire embarrassment goes out the window. 🙂
I’ve never bought a lottery ticket and only seen one 2-3 times.
My dream is to win a big lotto having gotten the ticket as a door prize.
Who wants the shame of being a dumb ass lottery player?
Dildos are good luck items. The bigger you buy the more luck you will get.
“I got your dildo right here!”
Angel, you horny bastard you!
Whatever happened to the old standby, “It’s my friend’s dildo, not mine”? That always puts everyone at ease, and you can save the cost of the lottery tickets.
The art of excuse-making has clearly deteriorated.
That’s a pretty cool story. Wish more lottery winners had fun things like this!
Lol @ #4
I’m throwing out my virgin mary, heysuez statue, treefreshner, fuzzy dice and rabbits foot. Gonna hang a giant dildo from my rear view mirror right now.
Today, if you try to get money out of a convenience store ATM, you will most likely have to pay a $3 ATM fee. This will be split between the bank and the store.
#6 & #8
BTW, here’s another pic of the happy winner of that lottery ticket (NSFW!)
http://w3bbo.com/forums/Goatse-Original_Ring.jpg
Did anybody notice that in the full story (if you click through to the Des Moines Register site) some guy signed “Wicks” starts talking to the guy in the story like the comments section of the newspapers website is the guys personal email?
Quote…”Charlie (Steve’s nickname) you old devil. LOL at blaming the dild0 on Leslie. I remember when you use to bring that to parties…..ah….the memories.
Anyway, I’ll have to look you up when I am back in town. A lot of crazy things going on out here in San Fran that I need to tell you about. Billy just lost his job and Steve moved out too, so I’m stuck floating the money for the bills now.
Glad to see you are finally getting the press you have always deserved. You are such a charming and witty guy, everyone should know about you!
Wicks”
Like the guy is ever going to read that (especially now he has money)…neither Des Moines nor the INTERNET is THAT small…
It is shitty he is stuck payin the bills though…I guess…no harm in checkin up on an old buddy…who just came into a bundle of cash…
I always wondered who bought the giant dildos (dildoes?). I can understand the half-way normal sized ones, but the ones that look like they fell off of King Kong are perplexing. Maybe they use it to replace a bad leg on the dinner table?
ppphhhhtttt, i would just said i had it custom made from my own…
now……… who has a giant dildo in their car??? for what reason??
would be funnier if he was a sobriety checkpoint…
there has to be a story like that out there…