A group of Franciscan monks furious at the theft of bibles from their church in Florence have taken the unusual step of praying for the thief to be struck down by diarrhea.

Monks at the 15th century church of San Salvatore al Monte, which was a favorite of Michelangelo, were irritated when a rare and expensive bible disappeared from the lectern, and they flew off the handle when a replacement bible donated by a worshiper also went missing and within a few hours.

In a note, pinned up in full view of worshipers, the monks say they hope the thief sees the error of his ways. But in case he does not, they add: “We pray to God that the thief is struck by a strong bout of the shits.”

This turn of events will, they hope, “encourage him to carry out no further thefts“.

Not your usual biblical punishment; but, it’s the thought that counts, eh?

  1. Buzz Mega says:

    Diarrhoea? Sureoly you jeost.

  2. Skeptic says:

    Meanwhile the thief, harmless but a little mentally challenged, hid the bibles in his toilet.

  3. legendinmyownmind. says:

    give ’em the shits so they can wipe their ass with the bible pages, yeah that’s the ticket.

  4. Francesco Petrarch says:

    It is more honorable to be raised to a throne than to be born to one. Fortune bestows the one, merit obtains the other.

  5. Dallas says:

    What a coincidence. That’s exactly what I prayed for during Rick Perry’s recent Bible-Palooza.

  6. bobbo, why do you think what you think and when do you change your mind says:

    Big D–I had a similar thought: that the prayers would be as effective as Rick P-A-rry’s prayer meeting to end the drought.

    Perry really has publicly presented himself about as anti-science as you can get and still walk around on two legs. It will be fun to see how much this idiocy gets moderated or not on the National Stage.

    You all do know there are “gaps” in the theory of evolution?

    Yes, just that stupid.

  7. msbpodcast says:

    In #3 legendinmyownmind said: …wipe their ass with the bible…

    Well that’s at least getting some use out of the paper…

  8. bobbo, why do you think what you think and when do you change your mind says:

    What hole is that Alfie? You know, science marches on? Many of the so called “holes” have been answered. If by hole you mean gaps in the fossil record: many have been found, more all the time.

    What I suspect you actually mean is that you thumpers have some arguments, such as the irreducibility of the eye, that have been repeatedly proven false and yet you all cling to the dogma that the eye is too complex to have evolved.

    As in everything “natural” that you believe: you are simply wrong.

    What are those Holes Alfie?

  9. bobbo, why do you think what you think and when do you change your mind says:

    AHHHHHH Crap!

    And as Alfie won’t directly answer the question, for our other gentle readers: whatever you call a crack in the Theory of Evolution, I’ll give you that hair sized crack and then note your alternative theory of a devine entity that lives outside time and space has a few cracks as well. Cracks that would not begin to be measured if we shaved all the hair off all the mammals on earth and twined them together end to end. Still not the length to measure the stupidity of the thumpers.

    Yea, verily.

  10. Buzz Mega says:

    If you want a thief to really, really hurt. Pray that he acquires a higher sense of morals.

    Cursing him with Shits From God, The Inventor And Manager Of The Whole Fucking Universe is a really sleazy, non-Christian way to behave.

  11. seetheblacksun says:

    If it were possible to fingerprint for feces then they might be on to something.

  12. foobar says:

    The thief must be deranged because he’ll never make any money. Who would want to buy a bible?

  13. Dallas says:

    #6 Yes. Us religious types think alike.

  14. Special Ed says:

    Just reading this made me run to the bathroom with the Hershey Squirts®!
    However I did give birth to another Pedro.

  15. admfubar says:

    watch this thief claim that god made him do it!!

    i keep wondering how long before rick perry gets rick rolled

  16. Miguel says:

    Wrath is a deadly sin. Maybe the monks will get the shits instead…

  17. JimD says:

    Well, that must STINK TO HIGH HEAVEN, and the “Old Man” wouldn’t like that and might visit even more disaster on the Monks !!! Be careful what you pray or wish for !!!


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