Jobs is someone who has “that vision thing” as one who didn’t put it and that’s what Obama says he wants. Could this guy be onto something or just more Apple fanboi (yes, that’s the right spelling) meanderings?

Why Steve Really Isn’t Giving the Keynote

When Apple announced that Steve Jobs wouldn’t be giving the Macworld Keynote, the blogosphere went into a frenzy. Although there was some debate, the common consensus at the end of all the pandemonium was that Steve Jobs was on his way to the grave. My thinking was in that camp for a while, but then as I was watching the news I thought of an interesting possibility… what if Steve Jobs isn’t stepping down due to his illness, but because he wants to take another job? You might say, “Steve would never take any job over Apple… he loves the company! Why would he leave for another company?”, but my answer would be that he’s not leaving for another company, but rather for our government… as Obama’s new Chief Technology Officer.

Before you call me insane, hear me out. Barack Obama needs someone who is ahead of the times, a visionary who could guide our technological decisions in the best way possible. Steve Jobs has proved time and time again that he knows what technology should be like, and that his vision of the future is essentially always correct when it comes to this field. He would be perfect for the position, because frankly, no one is as much of a genius as he is in this regard.

Another fact supporting my claim: Obama has announced every other member of his cabinet except for Chief Technology Advisor. Is this because he hasn’t made up his mind yet? I doubt it. He must have been thinking about this for a long time, considering it was his idea to create this position. A more likely scenario is that his choice, Steve Jobs, doesn’t want him to announce it. I can just picture Steve telling Obama that the only way he will take the job is if he can announce it at Macworld himself.

On the other hand. Or is that just a smokescreen to cover the truth? In Maclandia, perception is everything, so perhaps both are true…

Found by Brother Uncle Don.




  1. caa says:

    Just saw this story http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090105/bs_nm/us_apple_ceo_5
    Steve Jobs has a hormone imbalance that is causing him to lose weight.

  2. Gosker says:

    I was almost excited, until I saw the next feed.

    http://macrumors.com/2009/01/05/steve-jobs-missing-macworld-due-to-health/

    Shame, I kinda prefer Chief Technology Officer version.

  3. pedro says:

    Nah, I prefer the “metabolic imbalance” version better. The stench of BS suits it better.

  4. Paddy-O says:

    “Steve Jobs has proved time and time again that he knows what technology should be like,…”

    No, he’s shown that he can package existing technology in pretty, shiny trappings that cause fanboi’s to pay more for…

    I guess Obama could use him to market tired old policies as something “new”…

  5. chuck says:

    Steve Jobs would never take the job of either “Chief Technology Officer” or “Chief Technology Advisor”.

    For one thing, its not a “real” cabinet position. There is no Department of Technology.

    For another, Steve Jobs doesn’t report to anyone, he tells people what to do. The CTO would report to the President – who could choose to ignore the advice.

    If Jobs took the position, he last about 2 weeks, then quit in disgust after calling everyone in the building a frigtard.

  6. Thomas says:

    How can you call Jobs a genius and then suggest he’d take this job? The job has no future. As #4 stated, there is no Dept of Technology so the CTO is not a real cabinet position and thus has no real power. It is more like fancy IT administrator.

  7. PCUser says:

    I agree with Chuck, Steve Jobs would never take the job and if he did he wouldn’t last long. There is a big difference between being a CEO of a company with control over everything (Jobs is a control freak) and being a political appointee.

    Obama needs to pick someone who is comfortable with playing the political game. Corporations are setup to take orders from the top and implement them. The US government is intentionally setup to make declaring top down orders difficult to implement. The entire idea is that it should be hard for the government to act until everyone agrees, after all the government acting is almost always the wrong thing.

  8. pedro says:

    Knowing what a control freak Jobs is, he would never got into such position.

    Only a macfan would try to put this explanation just to diminish his stress level from the news of his god being ill. Avoid reality at all cost, that’s what macfans are good for.

    #3 Very good one.

  9. ran6110 says:

    It’s even on Huffington Post..

    http://tinyurl.com/9goozl

    From the story:

    Jobs, 53, said in a public letter that his thinness had been a mystery even to him and his doctors until a few weeks ago, when “sophisticated blood tests” confirmed that he has “a hormone imbalance that has been `robbing’ me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy.”

  10. This is bunk. Even if Jobs WERE going to take the CTO job (which I don’t believe for a second), bfd.

    What, he can’t take off an hour to give a keynote speech? He wouldn’t have to start his “new job” for another two weeks. Busy boi though he may be, I’m sure there’s an hour in there somewhere for Apple’s last hurrah.

  11. Olo Baggins of Bywater says:

    Jobs is good at what he does, but what he does is limited to user interfaces and expensive/pretty boxes. Plus, he’s almost dead.

  12. GigG says:

    That sound like a pretty good description of Obama’s (and Clinton before him) policy position on just about everything.

    With the exception of the almost dead thing.

  13. jccalhoun says:

    Let’s not forget that in addition to being pres of Apple he is also the largest shareholder in Disney. He would probably have to sell off all that stock to take a cabinet level post. I don’t see that happening.

  14. From the WSJ: Jobs says ““Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause,” he said, adding that blood tests have recently confirmed that a hormone imbalance “has been ‘robbing’ me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy.

    Maybe he ought to knock off that vegetarian shit, and start chowing down on some Paula Dean-burgers. Too much grilled broccoli and steamed asparagus isn’t good for you.

  15. pedro says:

    Hmmm, don’t you think that hormonal imbalance was brought upon by chemotherapy?

  16. Olo Baggins of Bywater says:

    11 jccalhoun…now’s the time to sell Disney. Who can afford to go there? Pretty soon it will become a homeless shelter for Orlando’s less fortunate. Imagine what the Tower of Terror will be like then!

  17. Nth of the 49th says:

    “Steve Jobs has proved time and time again that he knows what technology should be like, and that his vision of the future is essentially always correct when it comes to this field.”

    Ass kissing at it’s finest, must be looking for a job with Apple, and as is usually the case nothing but fresh steaming horseshit.

  18. Angel H. Wong says:

    Jobs would actually fit quite well, after all every purchase the government does is already done for overpriced products.

  19. Deep-Thought says:

    Political technological decisions and product design and marketing are not the same.

    He would probably give a good show, but I would rather have someone more enthusiastic on the whole technology front.
    Apple is a bit too much multimedia to be trustworthy.

  20. #13 – ‘dro

    >>Hmmm, don’t you think that hormonal imbalance
    >>was brought upon by chemotherapy?

    Hmmm, no. Jobs had surgery for the pancreatic cancer, after his Steve McQueen dietary self-therapy didn’t work.

    No chemo, no radiation.

    When are you going to start taking my advice?

  21. pedro says:

    #18 I never doubted you’d be so naive as to buy that “hormonal imbalance” BS.

  22. Cursor_ says:

    Its Hep C he is actually suffering from.

    Cursor_

  23. pedro says:

    #20 That would explain the pancreatic cancer. If it’s true, wait for liver cancer shortly.

  24. #19 – ‘dro

    >> I never doubted you’d be so naive as to buy
    >>that “hormonal imbalance” BS.

    Christ, m’hijito, are you really the imbecile you appear, or do you just play the part on dvorak dot org slash blog?

    I never said I bought that “hormonal imbalance” BS. Personally, I think he’s got one foot in the grave, and they’re just bullshitting us.

    YOU were the one who sought to explain the “hormonal imbalance” as a side effect of chemotherapy (to wit: In Message #13 you queried “Hmmm, don’t you think that hormonal imbalance was brought upon by chemotherapy?“, stupidly not knowing that Jobs never underwent chemotherapy).

    If anyone here is a naive rube, it’s you, ‘dro.

    Now why don’t you just take my advice? Trust me, you’ll be the better for it.

  25. sargasso says:

    SJ is best choice for Chief Technology Adviser, followed closely by JCD.

  26. bill says:

    I wonder how many of you posting here have ever met Steve, worked for Steve, talked to him, or even seen him in person?

    Steve personally demo’d the original Macintosh in Hawaii to me after I had breakfast with him at the Sheraton Waikiki.

    He would be a great CTO for the US.

    #23 has a great point.

  27. Paddy-O says:

    # 24 bill said, “He would be a great CTO for the US. ”

    Based on?

  28. chuck says:

    I saw Steve Jobs do a keynote speech at Comdex many, many years ago – he was at NeXT and was showing off the new NeXT OS for 386 PCs.

    It was awesome. Then about an hour later, after the reality distortion field had faded, people started to realize that to run the NeXT OS on a 386 you needed about $10K worth of hardware.

    If Steve wants to get healthy he needs to eat a few cheeseburgers. His vegan diet is obviously killing him.

  29. Cursor_ says:

    I think Steve would be a great CTO for the US.

    IF that Steve is Woz!

    Cursor_

  30. RTaylor says:

    I doubt there’s many MD’s posting here. The use of the word imbalance is vague and sounds like a PR release. This maybe the first statement in a plan of public releases. If you ease the truth out, there may be less of a dump of the stock. It could also diffuse stock holders suits. If I owned AAPL now, I’d be selling.


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