You just KNOW that once this gets out some jerkoff (yeah, pun intended) at some meet market will be using some variation on the line, “Can I help you prevent depression tonight?”

There is growing evidence that human semen has the potential to produce profound effects on women. We have replicated the effects showing female college students having sex without condoms are less depressed as measured by objective scores on the Beck Depression Inventory. We’ve also examined the data as a function of whether the students were using hormonal contraceptives, whether they were in committed relationships, and how long these relationships have lasted. The anti-depressant properties of semen exposure do not vary as function of any of these conditions. It is not a question of whether females are sexually active, since students having sex with condoms show the same level of depression as those who are not having sex at all. We have also received numerous semen testimonials from other women who attest to the anti-depressant effects of semen exposure and these accounts often include the use of control trials (i.e., comparisons generated by switching from condoms to unprotected sex, or vice versa).

Only 5 percent of the ejaculate is sperm. What’s left is seminal plasma, which is a rich concoction of chemicals, including many that have the potential to produce mood-altering effects derived from hormones, neurotransmitters, and endorphins. There are even female sex hormones in male semen. Within a hour or two after insemination, you can detect heightened levels of many of these seminal chemicals in a woman’s bloodstream.

Dr. Greenfield noted the therapeutic effects of semen, citing research from the Archives of Sexual Behavior which found that female college students practicing unprotected sex were less likely to suffer from depression than those whose partners used condoms (as well as those who remained abstinent).

Presumably it was the closing line that caused the controversy: “So there’s a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there’s a better gift for that day than chocolates.”

  1. /T. says:

    The Science is in !

    ITM !!!


  2. Lou Minatti says:

    I think the buzz around this news article was about 6 months ago.

  3. Yankinwaoz says:

    “There are lies. Damned lies. And Statistics”
    ~ Make Twain

    Without reading it in detail, it smells like BS. Someone doesn’t understand the difference between cause and effect.

    Of course women who aren’t depressed are probably enjoying a healthy sex life. Duh.

    Anti porn pundents use the same twisted logic. All rapist are men. All men consume porn. Therefore porn causes rape.

    Using the same logic. All rapist are men. All men breath oxygen. Therefore oxygen causes rape.

  4. tdkyo says:

    Two sperm articles in a row…. -_-

  5. deowll says:

    As a biology major it does compute that sex would be rewarding to the parties taking part in it.

    However a study also showed that given a choice between sex and a good steak most people preferred the steak which is also rewarding.

    I’m not sure how chocolate actually rates on the enjoyability scale.

  6. Joe says:

    I wish the study would have stated the mood-elevating affects are increased when the semen is applied orally.

  7. GregAllen says:

    >> Yankinwaoz said, on April 25th, 2011 at 6:28 pm
    >> Without reading it in detail, it smells like BS. Someone doesn’t understand the difference between cause and effect.

    Even without reading the details, it seems like the study tried to account for the likely other causes.

  8. Can I be of service? says:

    When I was in high school (late 60’s) some of the girls got the notion that semen was good for their complexion. I don’t know who started that rumor but I’d like to thank him.

  9. Dallas says:

    I heard it makes a terrific topical ointment.

  10. sargasso_c says:

    The jury is still out on the definition of female “happiness”.

  11. Animby - just phoning it in says:

    Oh, great! Research that promotes unprotected sex. Just what we needed.

    In other news: Researcher Found To Own Stock in Abortion Clinics…

  12. Special Ed says:

    Works for Pedro.

  13. ray says:

    So does this also work if she ingests it orally? Or is this only through vaginal? Hell, I’ll just ejaculate all over her just to be safe.

  14. howard beck/beale says:

    Purity of Essence…. those sneaky woman want our essence

    oh my wife just went up to bed got to go

  15. bobbo, high culture art critic says:

    Colbert has been selling his man seed for this purpose for some time now.

    The header says the differences are shown in sex with condom and sex without condom studies–its not sex, its the semen.

    If true, and if the result is more than statistical and actually a “powerful” effect, I’d think there could be a nice little pill that could be developed and a public service way men could earn their way thru college?

    On the flip side, would vaginal juices help the drive shaft slip joint come together?

  16. Cursor_ says:

    Where is the BS meter on this one?


  17. Butter Butt says:

    Sound to me like a bunch of so-called researchers with skinny penis’ that don’t want to wear condoms because the don’t feel anything with one on…

  18. GregAllen says:

    I’m kind of surprised at the reaction to this story. Yes, it seems far-fetched but it makes some sense as well.

    From a evolutionary standpoint, there is a reason sex is pleasurable. There is no reason that the pleasure has to only be immediate and transitory. It kind of makes sense that the pleasure would be long lasting, as well.

  19. Olo Baggins of Bywater says:

    No wonder my gf is so happy.

  20. JimD says:

    Well the fact is that women need orgasms, not so much as semen !!! And women don’t have orgasms because men don’t have orgasms either !!! Note that ejaculations are NOT ORGASMS !!! So that both partners are left unsatisifed by sexual intercourse !!! We need to relearn how to have MUTUALLY ORGASMIC SEX !!!

  21. spsffan says:

    Of course semen can “produce a profound effect on women”. It’s called pregnancy.

    More to the point, I agree that there is a cause and effect problem here. Perhaps it is only the blissfully idiotic women that allow unprotected sex, while those with more common sense, a conscience, awareness of the human condition, etc. and therefore more likely to be depressed, use condoms.

  22. Likes2LOL says:

    Like Brylcreem, “Just a little dab’ll do ya…”

  23. Joe says:

    I have also heard that semen can prevent breast cancer.

  24. Special Ed says:

    #23 – and tonsillitis.

  25. GregAllen says:

    When JimD!!! talks about SEX!!! he gets so!!! excited!!! one exclamation point!!! per sentence is not enough!!!

  26. mangurian says:

    Thus the term “gay”

  27. Animby - just phoning it in says:

    # 23 Joe said, “…semen can prevent breast cancer.”

    Haven’t heard that but it IS associated with cervical cancer. Not in a good way…

  28. LibertyLover says:

    It also helps women shed unwanted pounds.

  29. Likes2LOL says:

    See how ‘lighthearted comments’ can mess up your career:

    ‘Semengate’ Stuns Scientific Community

  30. Wonderful finding it may consider natural healing of depress


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