The stupid boobs song on the Oscars, not withstanding…

Why do straight men devote so much headspace to those big, bulbous bags of fat drooping from women’s chests? Scientists have never satisfactorily explained men’s curious breast fixation, but now, a neuroscientist has struck upon an explanation that he says “just makes a lot of sense.”

  1. John E. Quantum says:

    Boobs like those are weapons of mass distraction. I hope that car isn’t moving since she isn’t wearing her seatbelt.

  2. tigerjuju says:

    I would read the post, except I can’t seem to read past the photo for some reason…

  3. ivan says:

    It’s like Everest.
    Because they are there.

  4. deowll says:

    I think guys are hard wired to be attracted to the breasts of young females especially when they are in motion and equally hard wired to want to look anywhere but at the chest of a female whose breasts have flattened out the way a female who has nursed a kid or two without frontal support will.

    The first is ready to have your babies and the other has already had her babies and if you buy in you will most likely end up raising another guy’s kids rather than your kids so it computes.

  5. ReadyKilowatt says:

    The author of the study points out that African men don’t seem to be boob-obsessed, observing that the women of Africa walk around topless all day.

    Maybe the men of Africa are smart enough to keep their damn mouths shut!

  6. Scott M. says:

    Someone took a lot of time manipulating the original into the final photo. I wish to add my thanks to the digital artist, whoever he/she is.

  7. Ron says:

    I’m trying to figure out how those sleeves work.

  8. tnp says:

    I’m sorry, could you repeat the question please?

  9. Dallas says:

    Can we do a segment on male Olympic swimmers? Everybody likes those.

  10. MikeN says:

    But there is a growing conviction, notably in Canada, that paedophilia should probably be classified as a distinct sexual orientation, like heterosexuality or homosexuality. Two eminent researchers testified to that effect to a Canadian parliamentary commission last year, and the Harvard Mental Health Letter of 2010 stated baldly that paedophilia “is a sexual orientation” and therefore “unlikely to change.”

  11. raido says:

    Poor girl. Those things are a burden.

    • rumpfosteelskin says:

      Yeah a burden that will earn her at least a million more over her lifetime

  12. Rogue says:

    Tanya Song? Seems like Uncle Dave spends his final days on

    • Rick says:

      She’s pretty unless she smiles, then her face changes in bizarre ways.

  13. Glenn E. says:

    None of this explains why some percentage of males are “Leg Men”. Not that large breasts aren’t attractive. But on the whole, nice shapely legs always ranks higher for me. Especially in heels. So what’s that got to do with this neuroscientist’s theory of breasts? And let’s not forget “Ass Men”. Though they’re probably in the minority.