Vail Daily News for Vail and Beaver Creek Colorado – News — Good reading.

BACHELOR GULCH — A mutant strain of pine beetle is wreaking havoc on the High Country’s most luxurious homes, and sparking a response far more furious than any directed at the pests chewing up the pine trees.

Though the pine beetles threaten to decimate the forest, the scourge has spawned widespread disinterest.

Now, panicky homeowners, realtors and wine-and-cheese vendors are demanding the federal government take immediate action to stop the mansion beetle, sometimes referred to by its scientific name, “chompus opulentious.”

“We have to protect this important resource of our mansions,” said Minky Malveaux, an interior designer who refuses to work on homes worth less than $8.5 million.

“You can have a resort without trees and animals, but a world-class getaway without 32-bedroom, 30.5 bath Yellowstone-style vacation lodges with koala bear rugs, ivory stair railings and walls made from the trunks of the last few dozen Amazonian redwoods? That are only used a week out of every year?”