Looking for his missing rectum…guh!

Cuban Diplomat: Castro Report ‘Is A Lie’ / Cuba News – CubaNet News — Jon Stewart was all over this story about the artificial anus. When you read this report it is kind of gross. Agh.

“In the summer, the Cuban leader bled abundantly in the intestine,” El Pais reported. “This adversity led him to the operating table, according to the medical sources. His condition, moreover, was aggravated because the infection spread and caused peritonitis, the inflammation of the membrane that covers the digestive organs.”

The recovery from the first operation, in which part of his large intestine was extracted and the colon was connected to the rectum, did not go well, resulting in peritonitis, the report said.

A second operation to clean and drain the infected area was conducted. Doctors removed the remainder of Castro’s large intestine and created an artificial anus. But this operation also failed, El Pais said.

The Cuban leader was then hit with inflammation of the bile duct. He developed a condition called cholecystitis, which is an inflammation of the gall bladder. El Pais said this condition has an 80 percent mortality rate.

A prosthetic device made in South Korea was implanted in the bile duct and failed, and was replaced with one made in Spain, the report said.

Could it actually be from Franco? I heard he had more than one and had them frozen.

  1. Asshole Expert says:

    Everyone should know that Spanish assholes are much better than the South Korean variety.

  2. Doc says:

    Dude won’t see another New Year…

    He should have come to the United States, where the doctors are world-class. Royalty and Big Cheese types from all over the globe go to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota for check-ups — I bet they could’ve fixed the a-hole. What he failed to consider was that the smart doctors left that island LONG ago.

    It would be nice if that regime in Cuba would die, so the island could be turned back into the wonderful resort it was 60 years ago. Maybe people would stop using inner-tubes to try making land in Florida.


  3. Sam says:

    It says, “A prosthetic device made in South Korea was implanted in the bile duct“. Bile duct is a duct connecting gall bladder and small intestine. So, implanted prosthetic device is NOT an artificial anus. Making an artificial anus means to make a hole on stomach and connect colon to that hole so stool can bypass the natural anus. This is useful when someone cannot use his or her natural anus.

  4. doug says:

    OBMonty Python:

    “Did you see the morning edition? Castro’s had an asshole transplant!”

    “Yes, but did you see the stop press? The asshole’s rejected him!”

  5. Delos Gatos says:

    Just let the old man die…

  6. RTaylor says:

    It was his call, he didn’t want a colostomy. In most countries the physician would have proceeded to insure the patients best chance of recovery. I doubt they cherished the thoughts of going against the supreme dictators wishes.

  7. Pfkad says:

    #2, Doc: He’s probably in an HMO, so he’d have third world doctors here in the US, too.

  8. @$tr0Gh0$t says:

    Yes, the second Fidelito has been granted full powers to ‘dictate’ as he wishes.

    Pedro… I also left that country which you speak of, but I had the small advantage of also having citizenship from an european country. Still, I’m not working on the field related to my degree, so you better prepare yourself to have to work your way from the bottom.
    Or how one of my college professors used to say ‘Always marry rich’.

    Sometimes I feel like turning in my passport to resign my citizenship from THAT country…

  9. venom monger says:

    Sorry for this cry-baby stuff, I had to vent in this higly-related (at least to me) topic.

    Best of luck, Pedro. I hope it works out for you and your family.

  10. Asshole Expert says:

    Coach should make designer colostomy bags, the Castro model.

    Get in the box Castro – game over!

  11. Mucous says:

    One can only hope that those who picked Castro in their 2007 Dead Pools get to score him.

    Pedro – good luck.

  12. Mr. Fusion says:

    Alright, so Cuba has an artificial asshole running the country. In America, we have a real asshole running the country.

  13. -rimshot- for Mr. Fusion

    We have a winner!!!

    oops, did I say rimshot? I meant uh…

  14. TJGeezer says:

    Good luck, Pedro. I read today about a certain Fearless Leader down there making himself a legal, literal dictator who can bypass his country’s legislators using signing decrees. Gotta wonder if he took his inspiration from Dubya, another screw-the-legislators Fearless Leader, but from well north of you.

    Hope you land intact in every way, wherever you go.

  15. OmarTheAlien says:

    Knew a guy who suffered an intestinal blockage and was puking his own feces. Betcha his old lady was careful about when, how and if to kiss him.
    Good luck Pedro; sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

  16. doug says:

    yeah, Pedro, best of luck. hope you can make it into the States.

  17. joshua says:

    Does the US still allow employer sponsoring? Possibly one of us who owns a business could sponser Pedro for entry into the US.

    Pedro’s Fearless Leader tried a coup back about 10 years ago, that didn’t work, so he went by way of elective office to dictator…..seems to be a sure route to success.

    We can scream about Bush and this administration all day long, but none of us born and raised in this country have ever faced what Pedro and millions of others around the world must endure from their **elected** goverments. Between rants, many in this forum need to thank whatever thing they like to thank for where they live.]

    #4…Doug….great skit.

    #Mr. Fusion….your on your game today…..lol

  18. Trix says:

    castro’s a n00b, got pwned by his own asshole.

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