What is sporkk? It’s revolutionizing the way we think, work and play. It’s so much more than just a website. Put simply, sporkk is the nearest you will ever get to a meaningful, purpose-filled life. Want true happiness? Worship at the church of sporkk.
“Oh, well I’ll be — this internet just might be useful. Does it help make things get through my tubes quicker? My doctor gave me something for that — Now where did I put my glasses…
— Senator Ted Stevens
It’s so advanced, if you forget to enter your name and email address, then click on the Glossy Submit Button (TM), it will sigh you up anyway! Daaaaamn, that’s one, smart Sporkk!
A spork is a perfect metaphor for human existance. It tries to function as both spoon and fork, and because of this dual nature, it fails miserably at both
I have to admit that I was very skeptical until I saw their “glossy submit button” and all those clearly genuine testimonials. I now feel a new sense of tranquility, and I’ve even removed my tinfoil hat as I await further instructions from Sporkk. I feel like I’m on the ground floor of something very big.
Hey John… On the next TWIT mention this to Leo Laporte so that he can join!
WTF is this. I must be stupid or something, I dont get it.
Sounds like it might be entertaining.
I don’t believe in Sporrk I think it is a self deluded group of lunatics. Everyone knows that belief in cutlery is a sign of low intelligence and a lack of understanding of the universe. True enlightment only comes from understanding the sublime nature of glassware which only connects to the table but then rises above.
4. Oh, I get it now, internet humor, haha
/sarcasm off.
KVolk – You damn spoontheists are all alike! You take everything in the Miss Manners book literally!
hhopper
Miss Manners reveals the truth about proper dining room set up which everyone knows is the truth of how the universise was created during Sunday dining. Only a uneducated anti table dining aeitheist Sporkkian who thought the fast food continuim was the answer would say otherwise!
Hmmm, who would win between spork and the FSM? By design, I would think spork would have the upper hand, but how have they evolved?
BUT WAIT!!!! THERE”S MORE!!!
IT SLICES!! IT DICES!!! IT JULIENNES!!!
AND!!! YOU CAN SHOVEL FOOD INTO YOUR MOUTH WITH IT!!!
http://www.knork.net/
Where is Ron Propeil when you need him????
I see you’re having a little fun here with Sporkk, and that’s fine. But if I catch any of you blaspheming, I’m going to have to report you. There will be no second chances.
Sporks are great for ramen, and for dueling with crazed Scientology midgets!
#12 Blasphemers are run thru the dish washer with out a rinse cycle until they confess their heresy. The Sporkkers are barbarians in that way.
that site is fuct up
Do not try and bend the sporkk… that’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth… There is no sporkk.
This just in…
We have received our first commandment:
“Thou shalt capitalize the name of Sporkk.”
Let us rejoice that we were deemed worthy of this holy commandment, for we must surely be pure in heart.
I’m sure there is something profound and subtle and funny about this, but I don’t have the will or mental energy to contemplate it. I’m gonna go look at Dilbert now.
What happens if you cross a Sporkk with a Knife?………………………………………………………..You get a spatula that will cut out your heart.
You know, they could have called it a foon.
6,
Blasphemer! Only the holy porcelain and other ceramics are truly blessed at the dinner table, as they hold the sacred food and gravy, and present the ultimate of sacraments, the after-meal espresso.
#21, Alix, darn, that’s a tough call. OK, if it’s ordained glassware, I’ll go for the pint of Guinness, if it’s holy porcelain the coffee and Grand Marnier. Even better, a frozen stainless bowl of ice cream that one could Sporkk. Wouldn’t all be acceptable after a Sporkked meal?