Well, if you don’t want to be spoiled about the movie, I would recommend not reading this review:

The movie involves finding a machine buried in Egypt that can suck all the power from the Sun to provide energy to the Transformers. The machine was setup on Earth 17,000 years ago by the Fallen, a Transformer that defied the rule not to harvest energy from star systems that contain life. This Fallen is responsible for leading the current civil war between Autobots and Decepticons and can only be killed by a Prime, in this case Optimus Prime.

In a way this movie feels more Sci-Fi than the first one, but has a lot less soul. The movie is also a lot more brutal in the fights among the giant robots. And by brutal I mean faces getting ripped apart, torsos being penetrated by arms and robots being pulled apart. Quite gruesome to write about and quite numbing to see on the screen, especially when you think that none of the violence seen on the screen is real.

There’s a lot of military hardware on the screen, shot beautifully. The humour in the movie is passable, but crude. Characters such as Captain Lennox get no development, at least in the first movie he was portrayed as a family man, here he’s just a man in uniform shouting orders.

For a movie with so little soul, there’s some attempt at mysticism in the story, with one of the characters dying and going to robot heaven (yes, I find it ridiculous just writing about it).

I just hope that by the next movie we don’t find Optimus Prime angry about being dragged out of robot heaven by his friends, eventually falling in love with one of his enemies in a scene with robots bursting into song for no reason.

If you have kids, they will love this movie, for the rest, if you didn’t like the first one, don’t bother going to see this. Leave your brain at the door or it will be too long and too dumb for you.

Some useful links regarding this movie:

Use this website to know when you can go to the toilet and not miss much:

Website featured in the movie that’s run by one of the characters in the film:
The Real Effing Deal

Robot-Warrior’s website:
Giant Effing Robots

  1. Marc says:

    I thought only some teens watch crappy movies, no?

  2. Improbus says:

    So, let me see if I have this right. Go stoned?

  3. The Warden says:

    IT’s a Michael “cokehead” Bay movie for christ sakes. It’s like one long commercial with no substance and all action. And that’s what Bay does so well. Bay isn’t out to win an Oscar. His only problem is he over does it with the FX and scrimps on the story. Maybe people will one day get tired of how he does movies but the movie going audience enjoy mind numb movies. This will be a big hit.

  4. jccalhoun says:

    With sequels to action movies all I need to know is if it is better or worse than the first one. Then I’ll make up my mind based on my opinion on the first one. I don’t go to action movies for things like plot or character development. I go to see things blow up.

  5. MrMiGu says:

    Im not wasting the money or the drugs watching this movie

  6. wbskeet37 says:

    I liked Ebert’s review better.
    I don’t think he liked it. “If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together.”

  7. Bob West says:

    Is it me or are the FX looking more and more fake. Nothing seems to move with weight, they try to make up for it with louder sound.
    It still looks like a computer generated image. everything stays in focus and moves to fast.

  8. GigG says:

    Movie reviews? Really?

  9. Nth of the 49th says:

    Thanks for the video clip, no need to see the movie now.
    I can only assume the marketers in Hollywood think everyone one else is as mentally challenged as they are and can’t remember what they watched previously. Personally I’m tired of seeing pretty well the entire plot and best action scenes in the trailers. It’s one of the main reasons I no longer go to movies, no point in it once you’ve seen the trailers nowadays.

  10. BubbaRay says:

    Were I a 12 year old kid, I’d be all over it. Now, not.

  11. Benjamin says:

    The last movie was all GM product placement. Is this movie going to be something else since GM is defunct. I didn’t read the review because it had spoiler warnings.

  12. GregA says:

    I think the robots have too much detail and are overly animated and it makes them hard to look at.

  13. chuck says:

    The real question:

    Is the plot of the new Transformers movie any worse than the plot of the new Star Trek movie?

    I liked Star Trek right up to the point where Spock (old version) explained that a single super nova was going to destroy the galaxy.

  14. MikeN says:

    Wow, a Buffy reference.

    Is it true they identify the President as Obama?

  15. Luc says:

    Meh. I get my movie reviews from Rod Hilton. Much better.


  16. brian t says:

    There’s an even better review (short video) by Mark Kermode of the BBC: http://bit.ly/xy5ae

  17. The0ne says:

    Saw it last night with the nephews. They liked it because of the action. I actually love the transformers and while the action is nice the “soul” and story is disappointing. And while it’s nice that all autobots are GM vehicles it defeats the purpose of the unique characters of other autobots. There was a Audio but it was quickly destroyed.

    The movie is really weak in many areas.

    1. Robot heaven was a bit of a stretch but the cartoon does have it ๐Ÿ™‚

    2. no Autobots died but plenty of Decepticons died horribly ๐Ÿ˜€

    3. Optimus is suddenly a martial art master taking on multiple enemies

    4. You become Prime when the Matrix is passed to you, based on cartoon. It is the only way the Autobot leader can stand against the Decepticon leader.

    Well, I could go on and on but really this movie is more about “action” than any thing else. Best to leave your brain at home ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. ECD says:

    #16, Very good find. I love it! Best movie review ever.

  19. KneeJerk Optimist says:

    Oh god…yet ANOTHER alien??…snooorre

    The time is surely ripe for a “This Is Spinal Tap” style parody of all these aliens-come-and-take-over-the-world movies.

  20. Angel H. Wong says:

    Did anybody noticed Devastator’s roboscrotum and the decepticon with a gun for a crotch?

  21. Carcarius says:

    Optimus Prime dies?


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