The Register – 10th September 2009:

A devout Catholic who popped into church to thank God for a his rescue from a lift was crushed to death by a 860lb stone altar, the Telegraph reports.

Police spokesman Roman Hahslinger explained that Gunther Link, 45, was “a very religious man and had been scared when he was trapped in the lift and had prayed for release”.

He continued: “A short while later he was pulled out of the elevator and he went straight to the church to thank God.”

  1. JMRouse says:

    Does that qualify as irony?

  2. Dallas says:

    Obviously the church was closed that day.

  3. Jim says:

    So… was that an Altar-nate ending?


  4. SN says:

    3. Jim Said: “So… was that an Altar-nate ending?

    Worst pun evar!

  5. noname says:

    Times up.

  6. Somebody says:

    Well, he wanted to go to heaven….

  7. McCullough says:


  8. AdmFubar says:

    i say god missed the first time around…

    god is getting old and his aim isnt what it used to be!

  9. chuck says:

    When he was trapped in the elevator, he prayed to God to get him out, and God saved him.

    But, when he was in the Church, he forgot to ask God not to crush him to death with the altar.


    You have to be careful when you pray: start with something general like: please God don’t kill me. Then follow it up with “and make me win the lottery.”

  10. sargasso says:

    Died as he lived. On his knees.

  11. Improbus says:

    “Well, we all have to die sometime.” — Joycelyn Elders former Surgeon General

  12. Greg Allen says:

    My best friend in high school was a vocal and self-superior atheist who used to mock my faith relentlessly

    Until we got hit by a helluva storm in my little small runabout.

    He was praying like the pope and Mother Teresa combined!!

    I never, ever made fun of him for that.

    Why? Because these kinds of things are funny but ultimately meaningless — including the story in this blog.

    I’m glad my atheist friend found some spiritual strength during the storm and I’m glad Gunther Link felt some gratitude, even if was very very short lived. But, it’s no more than that.

  13. bobbo, its all definitional says:

    #12–greggy-poo==your spiritual strength is scientific ignorance.

    Once again: kinda obvious.

  14. SN says:

    12. Greg Allen said, “Because these kinds of things are funny but ultimately meaningless — including the story in this blog

    Meaningless because there really is not a God? Meaningless because there is a God but he has no grand plan so everything we do is without any purpose or meaning?

    You honestly believe there is an omnipotent and omniscient God. Accordingly, you believe that God both saved him from the elevator and killed him by the alter. Yet you also claim it is meaningless. To say I’m confused is an understatement.

  15. Olo Baggins of Bywater says:

    God made a mistake and was able to make up for it more quickly than he expected.

  16. artic-epsilon says:

    Maybe it’s just the details, but why would anyone describe the altar as 860lb, rather than 390 “kilograms”, which actually means something in the EU? If it’s true, I’m glad he wasn’t driving the bus when God asked that he join the party.

  17. JoaoPT says:

    I’m just amazed how in a world with more than 6 billion people doing stuff… stories like that one don’t happen more often. Just statistically…

  18. User7 says:

    Sounds like a Final Destination movie.

  19. fpp2002 says:

    Reminds me of the opening of “Saving Private Ryan”, where the young kid (being dragged up the beach by Tom Hanks) is so thankful he made it, yells “Jesus, thank you!” and is promptly shot in the chest.

    I love the irony.

  20. Lou says:

    Fishy tale. Yet still funny.

  21. Animby says:

    # 1 JMRouse said, “Does that qualify as irony?”

    With an 860 pound slab of granite, more like “ironing.”

    Props to Jim #3: “Altar-nate ending” is superb!

  22. deowll says:

    It is appointed to man once to die.

  23. m.c. in l.v. says:

    “When God hath ordained a creature to die in a particular place, He causeth that creature’s wants to direct him to that place.”

    -Liet-Kynes, quoting the Orange Catholic Bible

  24. Somebody says:

    Bi-la kaifa!

  25. pwuk says:

    An Altar-cation with a 860lb lump of stone would be depressing.

    It had his name on it?

  26. qb says:

    #3 OK, I confess. I found that funny.

  27. Cap'nKangaroo says:

    I think its obvious God trapped him in the elevator to prevent the death by statue, but relented when the man prayed to be released from the elevator.

    You got to be careful what you ask for, you just may get it.

  28. Timuchin says:

    Where’s the B.S meter on this story?

    How did this man pull the block of stone down upon himself? Did he have long hair like Samson? Isn’t that a miracle that he was able to do that? Atheists couldn’t do that.

    Why didn’t he tear the elevator apart and free himself?

  29. Uncle Patso says:

    Sure this isn’t from The Enquirer or Weekly World News?

  30. shaun says:

    The elevator could have killed him. But why save him to kill him?


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