Bloomberg Businessweek isn’t pulling any punches with its latest cover. The magazine’s portrait of over-confident hedge funds gets its, er, point across very easily

A spokeswoman for the magazine, which is known for its button-pushing covers, told us somewhat cheekily that “we do take great care to be very precise when creating our covers.”


  1. UncDon says:

    Well… how would you design it with a woman on the cover?

    • Tim says:

      Exactly how it is but with ass-length hair.

    • Glenn E. says:

      Why have a person there at all? I know it’s a bit old fashion. But one of those Edison Stock Tickers, under glass, would have worked. Or rather than the full body shot of a man. Just an enlarged head, looking thoughtful. And the arrow coming out of the top of his head. Apparently the photo editor of Newsweek is one of those totally clueless foreigners. That took over some American’s job. Who would have better taste, having grown up in the US.

  2. Gwad his own self says:

    Left: perky.
    Right: cooper’s droop

    • noname says:

      Eideard, can you tell me why you deleted my post.

      Must I keep asking until I get an answer?

  3. Auntie Neurotic says:

    At least you could march in a gay parade. I doubt if Bloomberg cares about your investment creds.

  4. Duh says:

    Oh please! Felix are the ONLY thing on anyone’s mind these days – women too!

    And does it really surprise anyone with the subliminal message here as well? I mean, considering the perception side, didn’t we all get screwed pretty good from the banking industry not too long ago? Or would you say say we were all figuratively pissed on by big business?

    Pretty accurate, if you ask me.

    • tim says:

      No. I don’t see any second party in the montage. He’s only Joycelyn Elders-‘n-it.

  5. MikeN says:

    I guess they are learning from this site. Only difference is they design it themselves, rather than copy it from some place on the web and paste it without attribution.

    • Tim says:

      You are kind of a hang-on to federal employment, aren’t you? Let me help you out with tomorrow’s mandatory co-worker report — “Dorthy looked like she momentarily had I thought… I’m concerned.”

  6. MikeN says:

    It’s really a representation of life under Mayor Bloomberg’s nanny state.

    • Serf Sam - The Lowly CITIZEN! says:

      Ya, I hear that! We all get fucked while Fuhrer Bloomberg pisses on us.

      Tell me this isn’t also symbolic of our descent into fascism too. Please! Because anyone who doesn’t see it is either a fool or doesn’t know what fascism really is.

  7. spsffan says:

    I continue to be surprised that anyone with any business sense would pay any attention to anything with Bloomberg’s name on it.

    The man has clearly turned into some kind of psycho-megalomaniac. I question how long before he is shot by a thirsty fat guy.

    • Serf Sam - The Lowly CITIZEN! says:

      I don’t know about you, but if I had a rich crazy person after me telling me he’s going to help me, I know that I’m pretty much fucked! Now, add in a few million other such people!!!

      But I hear you. Bloomberg is a douche! Just don’t tell him I said that. (He probably knows, anyway.)

    • MikeN says:

      Actually, he’s been quite good for business in New York, making the permitting process much more streamlined and efficient.

  8. Tim says:

    What; Like you people have never seen a secondary vestigial penis before? Now, that they are showing him playing pocket-pool with it is just voyeuristic unprofessionalism.

    • bobbo, we think with words, but only remember images says:

      Timmay!!!—In your experience, how many vestigial penises have been equal to total body length?

      Speaking of “images”—thats about the best, as in impactful, meaningful, relevant, provocative, analytical…etc==ie–all the superlatives.

      I wonder how long the meeting was to approve it?

      What half life would we give the “idea” behind it?—12 hours?

      • Tim says:

        “In your experience, how many vestigial penises have been equal to total body length?”

        All of them. I like turtles.

        p.s. NSFW!!!

        • bobbo, we think with words, but only remember images says:

          “NONE of them.” /// Fixed it for ya.

          I like turtles too. Used to have 5 “baby” red sliders in my tank/terrarium set up. Great Hobby for 14-15 years. Hobby stopped when I moved and didn’t have the energy to move the big tanks around.

          Said turtles used to be everywhere for free or 25cents until made illegal for carrying disease which spread when kiddies would touch turthels then put hands in mouth.

          Same with magnetic sculpture kits. Love to play with them too.

          …… Hey!—come to think of it, as a Tortoise might, kiddies ruin quite a bit in life.

          • tim says:

            Well, if you had referenced “green sliders” then I might have understood what is the concealed-from-the-NSA-message.

          • Tim says:

            Yea, salmonella is a bitch until one learns how to recognize it and that that is a weapon of die a 50 government plan. Kinda like lyme’s D. or drinking the water.

          • tim says:

            And they never got past the stage of ‘babies’ did they? It’s because one does not understand about that fungus growing on them because they will never get reported by a co-worker for having a fucking thought.

      • tim says:

        “my turtle’s got hair…it must be because he’s going through puberty…”

        • bobbo, we think with words, but only remember images says:

          “Turtle?”—thats an unusual moniker for the palm of your sweaty hand.

          Ha, ha. I amuse myself…….. more hair!?!?!?!?!?

          • bobbo, we think with words, but only remember images says:

            Yea–not long for this world.

            There are red and green eared slider turtles. I made no choice, the reds were just more available. I think they mostly stayed small but I also did not over feed them so they might have been stunted. I never lost a turtle to disease. They would however escape from the terrarium on occasion and not get found.

            Cute fellas. But yes–instead of requiring disease free turtles to be sold, they simply outlawed them altogether. Like stoats and ferrets.

            Ferret–about the only “main” kind of pet I’ve never had. I would’ve if I could’ve…. but lost interest in another mouth to feed now and cats keep the neighborhood free from mice… so no reason.

          • Tim says:

            I hear ya there. Those ‘ears’ are called tympani.

            To really let loose on making friends and influencing parents, try it with snakes.

          • Tim says:

            Oh yea, I had a hedgehog but it did not survive being shoved up someone’s ass. jk.

          • bobbo, we think with words, but only remember images says:

            My garter snake’s name was George. I took him everywhere with me. He got loose at the movie theater… never did find him and Mom thought that was enough snakes if I couldn’t keep hold of them.

            Hedgehog?… Ass???==Sure it wasn’t a gerbil?

  9. MikeN says:

    Is that like the end of Die Hard 2 or something?

  10. bobbo, we think with words, but only remember images says:

    A question for the cognoscenti: When any commentary “hits new high – or low – in magazine cover art” is that not an EXPRESS recognition that the art/headline/analysis at issue is SUPERLATIVE AND UNIQUELY of the highest standards and the question being asked really is whether or not you agree or disagree with it???????

    ……….. I think so.

    Review and prune your emotional armamentarium…… its all for the good!

    • Tim says:

      Usually, it means the editor said ‘fuck it.’

    • Tim says:

      Just for shits ‘n’ giggles, I’m going to defer to this guy — he is my favorite author even if it seems all his imagery was ripped off from Japanimation — flattery is the quickest route to a plagarism suit, and all:

      “I put out The Scarlet Gospels stuff [at HarperCollins]. I showed them fifteen pictures, some images that I would build the stories around. They all backed off to the edges of the room. They were appalled. It was fascinating. You would think that something radioactive had just been put on the table. There are very stark things there. I’m very proud of them…
      “This was not simply my deciding, along with HarperCollins, that the timing had to be changed. Eddie [Bell] was advising me to take the project off the table, which I did. I always respected his instincts.”

      Clive Barker: The Dark Fantastic

      • bobbo, we think with words, but only remember images says:

        I’ve read a lot of King and Koonz but I like the Barker movies…… although punishing teenagers for having promiscuous sex is rather pedestrian.

        So many GOOD books, all genres, out there….not even their summaries to be read.

        ………Just not enough time ///// and HERE I sit.

        • Tim says:

          “Didn’t open the box? And what was it last time, Kirsty? — Didn’t know what the box was? And yet, we do keep finding each other; Don’t we Kirsty? Time to play…”

  11. Glenn E. says:

    I’ve got a better graph that this one. Proof that Global Warming is really happening.

    Waiting for the final results. Something to do with String Theory, I think. 🙂

  12. MikeN says:

    They should have just put CNN in place of the guy after the George Zimmerman verdict.

  13. msbpodcast says:

    I’ve dealt with hedge fund managers.

    That a pretty fair assessment of their self-image as big cocks on the block as opposed to their actual performance, which is as utter li’l pissants.

  14. Eric Blair says:

    Considering when this magazine cover was released, perhaps this is a clever effort by Bloomberg to boost Anthony Weiner’s return to politics, by making phallic presentations into a caricature, thereby less offensive and more accepted.

  15. Kent says:

    Bloomberg Business Week is put together by 14 year olds.


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