NSA, CIA, WalMart, etc are probably watching this closely for the human control part. The holy grail will be wireless control from implanted-at-birth devices. And then they… um… Excuse me, I have this sudden urge to buy something and turn someone in for… something.

Researchers at Harvard University have created the first noninvasive brain-to-brain interface (BBI) between a human… and a rat. Simply by thinking the appropriate thought, the BBI allows the human to control the rat’s tail. This is one of the most important steps towards BBIs that allow for telepathic links between two or more humans — which is a good thing in the case of friends and family, but terrifying if you stop to think about the nefarious possibilities of a fascist dictatorship with mind control tech.

When can we get politicians hooked up (they should respond like rats) to, you know, actually do the jobs they were elected to do for us?

  1. Tim says:

    Brainstorm(1983), Douglas Trumbull. Christopher Walken, Natalie Wood



    I can’t find a clip where, during prototype testing, his coworker plays a trick and interfaces him with a chimp.

  2. msbpodcast says:

    They should hook the 1%er politicians up first as a condition for running for office.

    This way we could monitor their brains for collusion and devious throughts before and, given the NSA’s capabilities, after their terms of office; just to make sure they were on the up and up.

    Then I bet that politics would become a lot less attractive to the greedy, 1%er low life pond-scum that currently scurry around the halls of congress. (What’s the difference between a cockroach and a politician? Politicians don’t have the sense to run when the lights go on in the kitchen.)

  3. sargasso_c says:

    This does not influence the consciousness of the “target”. They will remain self aware.

  4. B. Dog says:

    Wake me when there’s a 50% off sale on hookers.

  5. noname says:

    Yes, one step closer to my diabolical plan for world domination!

    All I need to do is to convince people to wear my focused ultrasound (FUS) computer-brain interface (CBI)! Ah, but that’s easy. I’ll just incorporate the CBI into some cool goggles glasses; Walla, and there you have it!

    People can search the web hands free; Google can transmit subliminal advertising and NSA can track and find terrorist before anybody can commit any crimes! It’s a WIN-WIN-WIN all around! With a built in positive reinforcement unit, the CBI can be used for behavioral modification and training!

    It will be World peace at last, where there is but one thought, mine!

    Congress will have to mandate everyone to wear one, for their own protection, of course! I will “donate” some fraction of proceeds to the congress person election campaign if they vote to pass the legal requirement!

    • Tim says:

      But, will it blend??

      • noname says:

        Stay Tuned!

        The blend feature will be an enhancement in pack manager V2.0 upgrade, available for Free Download. It will use the mbwe-bluering feed. The upgrade instructions will be transmitted directly by CBI, only!

        We continue to strive to develop enhancement features, innovations and solutions to meet our clients’ (ours really) needs. I would like to personally thank again all our Loyal Customers for their continued selection of CBI as the information feed, command and control device of choice!

        • Tim says:

          Wow! Thanks CBI! Before CBI, A single Google search left me so racked with anxiety over which link to click that one of my legs fell off. I used to make bad purchasing decisions like personal ultra-portable generators and survival seed packs instead of wine glass holder neclaces and Puppy Clean ‘n’ Go sets — How did I ever function without those?

          CBI is so great it should be a crime not to own one!


      • noname says:

        If interested, we are looking for beta testers?

        Just send a self-addressed envelope stating your interest to 1925 Reece Rd, Fort George G Meade, MD 20755.

        Our staff will review your letter and qualifications. One of trained special ops agents associates will contact you shortly!

        So we can make the appropriate accommodations reservation, how long will you stay be?

        We quarantine you will not voice any dissatisfaction!

  6. dusanmal says:

    Example of technology that should trigger legislative effort but won’t because most legislators are not capable of understanding where this can lead and those few who could, want such power.
    I am not saying “ban it for all”. In the same philosophy as the Constitution, likelihood of existence of such technology should trigger amendments to ban Governmental use in any way, shape or form for an purpose. As long as it is between the business and individual and disclosed – hey, participate at your free will.
    As for “This does not influence the consciousness of the “target”. They will remain self aware.” – I’d disagree with your definition of consciousness.

  7. AdmFubar says:

    this tech has already been implemented on government for years.. corporations have been in control for a long time now

  8. Mister ED! says:

    You said,

    When can we get politicians hooked up (they should respond like rats) to, you know, actually do the jobs they were elected to do for us?

    My question is, what “job” is it that you seem to think they should be working at?

    Read the Constitution and you just might notice that it says very damn little about what our elected officials are supposed to actually DO! In fact, the entire legislative body exists primarily to represent VOTERS! (“Represent” them in/for/by WHAT?, may be a better question.) And given the average mentality of most voters who prefer to bicker and engage in partisan politics (just read this blog if you need any examples), I’d say our politicians are probably doing a pretty good JOB!

    You may have heard the saying that no one ever wants to deal with a lawyer; that is, until he/she needs one. Which, when you think about it, becoming a politician is more of a way to preserve/ensure more jobs for more lawyers.

    You could even say that you get what you pay for too! But that’s probably a foreign concept most of your clueless liberal readers might not agree with since they prefer the communist model which has someone else paying the tab, or even your conservative friends who don’t think anyone should pay for anything while using their money.

  9. Nick the Rat says:

    I knew i felt weird the other day, this explains it!

  10. Nex says:

    They’ll be growing people just like in the movie The Matrix.


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