In a bizarre case of liberals eating their own, the US Postal Service will destroy First Lady Michelle Obama’s series of “just move” stamps due to safety concerns.

It’s unknown exactly how many stamps will have to be destroyed, but Linn’s News is reporting it is the entire run of the commemorative stamps. The run is likely in the millions.

The terribly dangerous images in question show children performing a cannonball dive into a pool, skateboarding without kneepads and doing a headstand without a helmet. The stamps were produced without being approved by the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports and Nutrition and the horribly risky behavior depicted on the stamps were only discovered after the USPS marketing chief asked the First Lady to take part in the ceremony inaugurating the initiative.BWQIHqTIIAAmRYc

Experts contacted were relieved the stamps would be destroyed.
“This will save countless of lives. I’m glad we caught this in time, or it could have been disastrous to our children. The influences from images on postage can be very tempting to young minds,” nobody at all ever said.

In fact, all O’bots should be required to wear safety helmets 24 hours a day 7 days a week. You know what they say…Better Safe Than Sorry!

  1. MikeN says:

    >were only discovered after the USPS marketing chief asked the First Lady to take part in the ceremony inaugurating the initiative.

    So Michelle pointed it out? No wonder she’s so angry all the time.

  2. Tim says:

    If one considers the described activities; hike up, pump high, ride, bounce, reach, toss {no ‘swallow’ or is that what is called ‘shooting hoops’ , these days??} then the real reason that particular line is due for the shredder is not safety but rather because it is ticky-tacky. It’s not hard to imagine that someone might find the images to be in very poor taste (and not just for looking like Idiocracy Win8 icons).

  3. LibertyLover says:

    I find their lack of tolerance offensive, not the stamps.

    And I’m quite okay with the fact that M.O. is trying to get kids moving. We all need to stay active and starting early is a good way to build life long habits.

    • Tim says:

      Ohh, LibertyLover– Why do you hate trains and rotating knives so? Free your soul; Reveal to us your pain.

  4. Mextli says:

    They should be required to wear a belt and suspenders. I just hope they have good insurance.

    Is there no respect for society’s carefully constructed safety nets anymore?

  5. ECA says:

    Ummm? WHAT??

    HOw were the pictures selected?
    By HER or a GROUP??
    Did SHE draw them??

    So, It is REQUIRED to wear Helmet, knee pads, Elbow PAds, Shin guards, Wrist protection…JUST to go out and PLAY??

    Does any of this need to be Kevlar??
    Teaching us to be the POLICE, is cool..

    • ECA says:

      Dont forget the LARGE PILLOW on our butts…those bikes dont have Shock absorbers..

  6. dusanmal says:

    Safety as always with Progressives is an excuse for control.
    As for (real, not ideological) science – Pro’ Rugby and Pro American Football (and all levels below Pro’) at comparable level and similar game rules… order of magnitude less concussions in “no safety gear” Rugby… Even outside sports, car insurance study – same makes/models, with or without antilock brakes or stability control… always more and more severe accidents per car in “safety systems” equipped cars…
    Humans. We take disproportionally more risk and are more clutzy if we think something is protecting us.

  7. Dallas says:

    This postage stamp crisis has me outraged.

    I don’t see how kids horsing around on a stamp is problematic. Also, kids don’t mimic stamps on how to have fun – unless they do stamp collecting.

    • Tim says:

      It’s because they are constrained to be two-dimensional. Those kids are artificially impressed to be bound to a flat plane and as an unflattering and twisted-melty characature of themselves just to Dallasify the young souls only that much younger. It is evil. Evil incarnate, and you should be outraged.

  8. sargasso_c says:

    Laughed so hard I shot a booger.

  9. deowll says:

    They may also need to start wearing blindfold and ear plugs so they can’t see or hear anything that might upset their fantasy land version of reality. Of course many of them don’t do reality so maybe it doesn’t matter.

  10. bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist who once manuevered into office would rule like Machiavelli says:

    Say sheeple: pros and cons to all we do. Whats “wrong” with promoting safety?

    Silly to object.

    Must be hoomans involved.

    • MikeN says:

      Why didn’t you give clean needles to your lodger’s druggie friends?

      • bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist who once manuevered into office would rule like Machiavelli says:

        I don’t know Mickey…. why WOULD I? Assuming I had any which I didn’t. No. The evil doers/victims of our capitalist winner take all society knew that if I observed any drug activity that I would call the cops…. so they were secretive about it. Can’t function well in society, but fully capable of scurrying around in the dark–aka 3AM in the Morning.

        Speaking of which, roomy did move out 3 weeks ago and already has had the cops called at the new address when her druggie friends got into a fight over something. She’ll be evicted soon enough wondering all the time why everyone is so mean to her.

        Silly Hoomans. Drugs in her case. Politics in so many here.


        • MikeN says:

          Excellent, you’ve found a patsy to take the heat off of you. Nevertheless, you did not promote safety when given the chance.

  11. Mac Guy says:

    We’re raising an entire generation of pussies.

    • Sea Lawyer says:

      Dallas isn’t going to like that…

      • LibertyLover says:


      • Dallas says:

        His excellent point being we don’t need any more pussies and I concur.

        • Joan Baez says:

          Where have all the pussies gone?
          Long time passing.

          Where have all the hamsters gone;
          Long time ago.

          Where have all the dumbfucks gone;
          Gone to Walmart, everyone.

          When will they ever learn?
          When will they ever learn?

  12. Gimme-a-break! says:


    Children actually know what POSTAGE STAMPS are?!!!

  13. Glenn E. says:

    The stamps are unsafe? Or the imagery on the stamps is unsafe. I guess they won’t be printing up any new stamps of US Drone strikes. Cause I can’t imagine that imagery being thought of as kid friendly. But it may no stop the USPS from printing up military recruitment stamps, whenever there’s a need to get more warm bodies into a war zone. That’s generally when they fall back on the traditional “Minute Man” imagery. Though defensing Middle Eastern oil fields, has nothing to do with the good old Colonial days of the USA. Unsafe skateboard usage? I can think of a lot more “unsafe” things the US govt. promotes, through its various propaganda channels. Worrying about a lack of elbow pads on stamp cartoons, is ridiculous.

  14. Glenn E. says:

    Or how about a stamp depicting Fireworks? Yeah, nothing about that could be unsafe. Right?


  15. Glenn E. says:

    And I don’t know about this new stamp’s youth safety message. Is that Pontiac GTO, on fire or what?!


  16. MikeN says:

    Now if they would get rid of Michelle’s school lunch program so kids can eat.

  17. MikeN says:

    All this coming from someone who wouldn’t move to tend her garden during a government shutdown.

  18. dadeo says:

    Pictures on the front are just that..images for the mind to consume.. But that glue on the back..if there’s something toxic about the stamps, this has to be the culprit.

    But, I gotta wonder who selected such deadly artwork? 😐

  19. MikeN says:

    For safety reasons just destroy Michelle O’s office.

    Fixed the headline for you.

    • Ross Perot says:

      Splendid! Ehhhrrr let me get my HAARP, young man. It was lying around over there somewhere — In Texas… Yes, that was where …cough, cough … did you just hear a cracking sound and feel a sharp pain shooting up your butt? No? Damn, why is it always gotta be me….

  20. HUGSaLOT says:

    This has nothing to do with child safty.. what kid bothers to look at a postage stamp for safety lessons in a world of email anyway? This will cause the stamps to be extremely rare, and highly valuable. Maybe Obama can sell the set he has next year to pay off the debt?


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