So, “winning” the War on Drugs is causing us to lose the cyber battle. Go figure.

FBI Director James B. Comey said Monday that if the FBI hopes to continue to keep pace with cyber criminals, the organization may have to loosen up its no-tolerance policy for hiring those who like to smoke marijuana.

Congress has authorized the FBI to add 2,000 personnel to its rolls this year, and many of those new recruits will be assigned to tackle cyber crimes, a growing priority for the agency. And that’s a problem, Mr. Comey told the White Collar Crime Institute, an annual conference held at the New York City Bar Association in Manhattan. A lot of the nation’s top computer programmers and hacking gurus are also fond of marijuana.

Here in Las Vegas, local government is in the final stages of winnowing down the applications for those wishing to open medical marijuana stores. Should start seeing them open in about a year.

  1. pfkad says:

    Yeah, but what’s the policy on Cheetos and Mountain Dew?

  2. bobbo, Big Brained Apes with Lizard Emotions is an Evolutionary Dead End says:

    The screening process boils down to: are you willing to lie in order to get this job? If so…. then welcome aboard: we need your skills.

    Years ago, same issue: CIA failing to collect foreign intelligence due to not having any gays in the ranks. Seems the middle east is really into the Gay thing.

    ….. Things you can’t do if wearing a Brooks Bros Suit and button down shirt.

    Nothing changes.

    • noname says:

      Image is everything!

      Your eyes are your mind; if you like what you see, hear what you want to hear, feel like you want to feel, smell what you want to smell then objective facts and performance doesn’t matter, does it?

      Anything requiring intellectual thinking not involving outside stimuli from the five senses is to be banished and mistrusted!! Thinking creates ideas, questions and doubt and we can’t have that in the FBI!!

  3. Duh-me says:

    A lot of the nation’s top computer programmers and hacking gurus are also fond of marijuana.

    Don’t believe it! This is a trick to get you hooked on pot! :p

    • Tim says:

      It is looking more like a trick to ensnare intelligent smokers — They must do a good job there, “or else”, because they have broken federal law. Upon termination of their employment, they’ll be thrown under the jail — This also serves to cap any potential leaks as to what those malignant corporate lackies might be up to or revealing capabilities/vulnerabilities of interest to adversaries {We the People}.

  4. Tim says:

    It’s fitting. I’ve predicted forever that the system may well collapse itself under the weight of its’ self-imposed idiocracy.

    Those who hold on to the corporate-imposed bigoted view of ‘smelly, slothful, unintelligent’ as the final grasping staw to swing at reality are an ingrained part of the system — it’s a systemic problem that they are in a position to impose their wrongful attidudes upon others.

    I’ve never had respect for athletes that would relenquish control of their own bodies and piss in a cup for their job. It is very limiting of the true field of what may have been worthy competitors. Unfortunately, ‘looking up to’ these individuals have lead a whole nother generation to mushful thinking, bigotry, and general dumbfuckedness.

    Imagine if we only had nuclear physisists that priority one is capturing mid-stream…. No, wait…

  5. Tim says:

    I advocated last night that the way to collapse big government was for everyone to just fail their piss test.

    As it turns out, there are pros and cons to the policy — It does tend to weed out the more intelligent individuals who would otherwise get bored with, or question, the job.

    “”Attention, Walmart shoppers; This is a drug free workplace and we’re damn proud of it”” — believe you me, it really shows.

    Starve the Beast, intelligent smokers! Stop casting your pearls to swine.

    • Casey Jones says:

      “Attention, Walmart shoppers; This is a drug free workplace and we’re damn proud of it” — believe you me, it really shows.

      That’s a great example of the “dumbfuckedness” we see everywhere! I LOVE IT!

      Never mind what a person DOES! Right?

      For example, go drive a train full of people into a river and all anyone will be asking is, was the son-of-a-bitch in the conductors chair high, drunk or otherwise chemically altered? We’ll just ignore the physical conscious choice to engage in IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR while on the job — it’s just not heinous enough.

      Meanwhile, the people who were killed by the bad train conductor are still just as dead. But at least they weren’t murdered by some Rastafarian dude high on pot.

      Talk about being a dumb-fuck and coming to THAT conclusion! And yet…

  6. Uncle Patso says:

    I read recently that several state legislatures are considering making recipients of various government benefits take drug tests as part of the qualification process. I say, sure, go ahead, as long as everyone who receives money from the government is included — especially legislators!

  7. McCullough says:

    Is that Mac smoking a bowl?

    • Tim says:

      Ha! Is that Sam Kinison behind it trying to retain the entire crt superchamber’s worth??

      While pretty to watch the tube fill up, there are real health concerns with that practice — the least of which, is lead.

    • Casey Jones says:

      I think it’s a bad attempt at humor where the picture seems to suggest that “every mac daddy gets high.”

  8. Mojo says:

    The FBI hires lawyers and accountants. I would submit that both of those groups score higher on untrustworthiness than your average stoner/hacker.

  9. deegee says:

    Pot Stores, May Masterbation Month, … the USA is so self-screwed and going down fast.

    • Tim says:

      It’s prohibition that doomed US. It was used to trample every right such as is the case with all war.

      Yes, there are going to be many dejected old-timers as those that prided themselves as ‘top-o’-the-class’ come to realize that they were a very exclusive bunch — those dumb enough to not only go along with that system but were proud of it; whether they new it to be a lie, or not.

      What I’m afraid this may morph into is a requirement to work for the federal government in order to smoke cannabis unmolested.

      • Tim says:


        “”a requirement to work for the federal government in order to smoke cannabis unmolested.

        That’s how it stands now — Pigs and snitches are not drug-tested.

      • Tim says:

        Upon futher consideration, this is a trap. There is no honor within the FBI but to themselves. They can not be trusted. They are liars, theives, and murderers all. They are the epitomy of, well, feds.

        Ruby Ridge
        OKBOMB {you guys ever find where you hid all that surveillance footage from the 12 cameras facing Murrah Federal?}
        EVERYTHING prohibition and all that entails

        They are actually, to a man, instructed to redirect an investigation if it starts to turn up “brady material” {exculpatory evidence} in their zeal to persecute the perceived scofflaw of the week.

        from a reader comment —
        “”How is this handled legally when marijuana is federally illegal? Does this bind the hacker to employment with a federal drug charge hanging over his head? The feds exploit sex and prostitution in the same way. “You work for us, or you go to prison.”

        A Noble Lie

  10. Casey Jones says:

    You know, I can understand the powers that be for NOT wanting a government employee to be high on the job. And for someone with a badge and a gun — someone like a COP — being high on the job is not likely going to work out very well.

    But instead of punishing the bad behavior and the bad choices someone makes, the current thinking seems to be to punish everyone by hypocritically restricting or eliminating Constitutional Rights. And it’s getting worse!

    Go to any commissioning ceremony and one of the first things an officer is asked to affirm is his/her allegiance by swearing to support, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. And last time I looked, that “goddamn piece of paper” said EVERYONE had the right to life, liberty and a right to pursue happiness! (I won’t even get into the whole Bill of Rights and Fourth Amendment issues which seem to confirm it.)

    Funny how the FBI seems to care less about LAW and more about LAW ENFORCEMENT! But that’s America I suppose.

    • spsffan says:

      Um…”Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness” is in neither the Constitution of the United States nor the Bill of Rights.

      It IS in the Declaration of Independence, which while a great work, is not the law of the land.

      Of course, both were, in one of the most ironic twists of history written by slave owners.

      • bobbo, Big Brained Apes with Lizard Emotions is an Evolutionary Dead End says:

        Wouldn’t hypocritical be closer to the mark? Irony has an element of the unknowing or unintentional or unforeseen about it.

        Its an interesting point worthy of more discussion than it gets with pros and cons about it.

        …………..did I just hear Marc Cuban say that he knows he is bigoted? Hmmm….. in the spirit of our Founding Fathers. What a guy!

  11. bobbo, Big Brained Apes with Lizard Emotions is an Evolutionary Dead End says:

    In my youth, I applied to the FBI. I scored 100% on the first written exam but was not considered for engagement after subsequent written tests.

    I think I failed the “dummy” question of: “What did you not like about your service in the Military.” I fell for it and thought I should write something truthful so I wrote: “After a full week of 24/7 work, I did not particularly enjoy spending my weekend in a parade marching for whatever the occasion was.’

    I don’t know for sure. Maybe I flunked some investigatory background check. Maybe they used time warping technology and read this forum?

    Life continued on to good effect but I think I would have enjoyed the FBI training and then maybe a year in the field BEFORE I even decided whether or not I wanted to be an Agent.

    Its good to have options.

    • Tim says:

      That’s pretty good, but i think the Simpsons did it first… no, wait…

      {crap, I can’t find the full clip… this is someone’s excerpt}

      • jpfitz says:

        “I want to fly like an eagle”

        My youth was filled with dreams of flying, f’in bobbo got his aspiration. I love flying and cornering cars on and off it’s limits. I had a chance of a almost paid for bachelors degree in the mid 70’s. I, or my parents could not afford the flight time required for credits.

        I”m just kiddin bobbo, you know that.
        more Miller

        • bobbo, the pragmatic existential evangelical anti-theist and junior culture critic says:

          the Best:

          for airplanes. It should really grate on you that my alternative was to carry a rifle in the deep muddy. “I didn’t have a choice!!!”

          Good song, but when I think of Vietnam, I more often think of Country Joe’s Fixing to Die Rag or the Doors “The End” and then Pete Seegers Waist Deep in the Big Muddy, and then Phil Oches Ain’t going to War No more.

          Every war story ever told is about how horrible and insane it is. Yet every 25 years, you get a whole new crop of “warriors” who want to go kill for their country, and a whole new crop of citizens willing to send them.

          Silly Hoomans.

          • jpfitz says:

            No you had no better choice. I would have done the same under the circumstances.

            Yes it appears the patriotic citizens will have no problem sending young men and women to die for one cause or another, not wanting to get their hands bloody. Yet someone like me, who doesn’t believe wars are the answer, end up being labeled a pacifist or a unpatriotic coward.

            Yes silly hoomans indeed!!!

  12. John E Quantum says:

    In a world where there aren’t enough jobs for educated, intelligent people, various means are necessary to weed out (pun intended) applicants and distribute the available jobs. The prohibition of cannabis has been a very successful way to perform this function. It had the side benefit of filling the prisons with easy to manage inmates to solidify the power of the prison industrial complex. Nobody expected that the consequences would be an entire generation of lower socioeconomic class people raised without the benefit of the knowledge, moral guidance and sense of responsility that an intact family structure provides. But here we are.

  13. Tim says:

    — “I was very disappointed,” Sessions told Comey, adding that the comment appeared to “make light” of marijuana use.

    Sessions said it would undermine the efforts of law makers to discourage marijuana use:

    Do you understand that that could be interpreted as one more example of leadership in America dismissing the seriousness of marijuana use? And that could undermine our ability to convince young people not to go down a dangerous path?

    In his defense, Comey said he was trying to be “funny and serious” at the same time.

    “I am determined not to lose my sense of humor,” Comey said in response. “But unfortunately there I was trying to be both funny and serious.” —

    Oh. Never mind. Btw, Sessions is just another typical assclown which so epitomizes ‘that’ culture/generation. And whats with the really fucked up looking pointy ears?

  14. Tim says:

    “”“The first day of legalization, that’s when Colorado experienced 37 deaths that day from overdose on marijuana,” Pristoop testified at Tuesday’s Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee hearing. “I remember the first day it was decriminalized there were 37 deaths.”

    “”“If it was a misquote, then I’ll stand behind the mistake … But I’m holding on to information I was provided.”

    “”“I apologize for the information I provided concerning the deaths. I believed the information I obtained was accurate but I now know the story is nothing more than an urban legend,” Chief Michael Pristoop stated

    “”“We are seeing cardiac arrests, hypospadias, acquired trimethylaminuria and multiple organ failures..” Hypospadias is a birth defect in which the male urethral opening isn’t at the end of the willy, but inconveniently elsewhere (ha-ha! pee joke!), and trimethylaminuria is a metabolic disorder also commonly known as “fish odor syndrome.” And maybe the impassioned anti-pot opinion by the fictional CEO of the MolsonCoors brewing company might have been a giveaway?

    “Marijuana is a deadly hardcore drug that causes addiction and destroys lives. “When was the last time you heard of someone overdosing on beer?

    Ohh, looky loo; Baseball’s on. Those guys must piss in a cup before flinging their balls around — Tools.

  15. Tim says:

    –7. Drugs used in medicine are routinely given what is called an LD-50. The LD-50 rating indicates at what dosage fifty percent of test animals receiving a drug will die as a result of drug induced toxicity. A number of researchers have attempted to determine marijuana’s LD-50 rating in test animals, without success. Simply stated, researchers have been unable to give animals enough marijuana to induce death.

    8. At present it is estimated that marijuana’s LD-50 is around
    1:20,000 or 1:40,000. In layman terms this means that in order to induce death a marijuana smoker would have to consume 20,000 to 40,000 times as much marijuana as is contained in onemarijuana cigarette. NIDA-supplied marijuana cigarettes weigh approximately .9 grams. A smoker would theoretically have to consume nearly 1,500 pounds of marijuana within about fifteen minutes to induce a lethal response.

    To anyone feeling up to the challenge, though: There would probably be a considerable amount of carbon monoxide involved… But I’m pretty sure the coroner will still attribute the death to thc — I know for a fact, the insurance company will.

    • jpfitz says:

      I wonder how many stoners have tried to overdose on the magical herb. It’s impossible, but I’m sure when given a challenge some nitwit may try and wind up passed out somewhere unfamiliar.

  16. Tim says:

    Happy fucking americans who fought and died in vain for freedom day.. most of ya’ll do make me so very proud.


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