Los Angeles police are investigating the death of man who had enough weapons in his home and garage to arm a small militia.

Meanwhile, the man’s fiancée and a missing Oxnard woman who used to work for her supposedly believe that the man was a human-alien hybrid covertly employed by the U.S. government, according to the Oxnard woman’s mother.

The decomposing remains of Jeffrey Alan Lash were found last week in his SUV, which was parked on a street in the Pacific Palisades neighborhood. The body had been there for about two weeks.

Many of the 1,200 rifles, scopes, pistols and shotguns discovered in Lash’s home had never been fired, and some were still in plastic wrap and boxes, with price tags attached. Police also found 6.5 tons of ammunition, plus bows and arrows, machetes and knives.

“Our truck couldn’t carry it all,” Los Angeles Police Department Cmdr. Andrew Smith told the Los Angeles Times.

Lash apparently did not believe in banks. Also found in his home was $230,000 in cash.

He reportedly owned 14 vehicles, including a Toyota SUV designed to drive underwater.

I’ve been wondering where I could retire to some day, Florida and California are definitely off my list of possibilities.

  1. NewFormatSux says:

    Why are the police taking all that? That is the property of next of kin.

    • The Pirate says:

      Because the dead guy is half alien and might not be “really” dead. Half-dead aliens with guns, ammo, and ready cash are a threat to the community, and the police must act to protect and serve their communities without fearing for their lives.

      Or …

      Just steal a dead guys stuff, who is going to complain? Aliens?

    • Mr Diesel says:

      Exactly! Fucking assholes stealing the stuff out of his house. I’d bet if he had any other valuables those assholes stole them too.

      • McCullough says:

        C’mon…….. who wouldn’t want a submersible Toyota?

        • Dummy says:

          … …. Exactly! Steal a modified Toyota from a dead guy. It sure beats having to apply to the government for more (free) surplus APC’s.

          (APC: That’s “Armored Personnel Carrier” to those of you who don’t speak in government tongues.)

  2. spsffan says:

    Gee…all those guns and the dude didn’t go shoot up a movie theater!

    Of course, they closed the last theater in Pacific Palisades years ago. I remember seeing “Planet of the Apes”…the first one, with Charlton Heston in it there…what about 1968?

    But Florida still has us beat hands down for crazies on a percapita basis. And we have much better weather most of the time.

  3. orchidcup says:

    Of course the government will deny that Jeffrey Alan Lash has ever worked for them and they will claim his fiancée is mentally ill and then the story will quickly disappear from the headlines.

    This story has all the hallmarks of a government coverup.

    Alien hybrids everywhere will breathe easier when this story has blown over and the world returns to normal.

    • noname says:

      Ck his Certificate of Live Birth ….. the long form!

      If it’s singed by L. Ron Hubbard the dude is from Xemu and the “Galactic Confederacy”!!

      The Galactic Confederacy’s civilization was comparable to our own. They walked around in clothes used cars, trains boats and guns!!!

      With my right hand on my computer, and my left hand, Ahem, Cough…“as google is my search engine, I know this to be true”!!!

  4. Spudboy says:

    5 million in guns? Somebody was sponsoring him.

  5. Peppeddu says:

    Someone gets killed and someone else plays the “not guilty by reason of insanity” card.
    Where did I see it before?

  6. Dummy says:

    THIS is what the government is REALLY scared of: Crazy people who are ALLOWED TO KEEP THEIR MONEY!!!

  7. Mr Diesel says:

    1,200 guns and by looking at the pile there is no way they were $5 million worth. Maybe a million but they would all have to be Lapua, 50cal or other sniper rifles in order for the bunch to be worth that much.

    No big deal on not unwrapping or firing them either, I’ve never fire half of mine. (No, I don’t have 1,200.)

  8. Owning 1200 guns

    In the east, he is obviously an anarchist, extremist, or a terrorist.

    In the south, he’s a collector

    In the west he is just a gun nut

    In Texas he is just getting started

  9. Cap'n Kangaroo says:

    1200 guns plus assorted bows, machetes, knives. Over 6 tons of ammunition.

    I see YARD SALE.

  10. Jeffrey says:

    They sould’ve called Mulder and Scully to investigate first.


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