FLASHBACK: It was 1998. The Republicans were trying to impeach Clinton because he lied about having sex with Monica Lewinski. Newt Gingrich was the squeaker of the house. Republicans were trying to show they were the party of sexual morality – but there was a problem. Newt was a cheater, so he had to step down. Then they brought in some guy named Livingston but within a few days Larry Flint of Hustler Magazine exposed that Livingston fathered a child out of wedlock. Then came a series of Republican sex scandals being exposed. I was surprised Republicans were so sexually active.
Finally Dennis Hastert became the new Speaker of the House. His sole qualification was that he had no sex scandals. And now he’s being pursued for paying bribe money to keep quiet a homosexual relationship with a male student from where he was a coach. This is too funny! I wish I could have been there the moment Bill Clinton found out.
I think the real reason Republicans are against gay marriage is because under their religion they would have to get gay married to the men they are sleeping with. This is the best Republican sex scandal since wide stance Larry Craig tried to pick up a man for sex in an airport restroom.
Party on Republicans! Party on!
NEW: Hastert had gay sex with a CHILD!
Clinton – “I have no comment.” <snicker> (I made that up.)