Absolutely genius. Read more about the iPad on John’s latest Marketwatch column.

  1. RASTERMAN says:

    Okay, so maybe it’s 4th grade humor.


  2. Joe Dirt says:

    All kidding aside, I’ll probably get one. It’s kinda cool.

  3. Holdfast says:

    #2 I have an iPod touch and an old Lifebook tablet running XP. I can do everything that the iPad can.
    On the Touch, I have access to Apples garden that is walled especially for my protection. I am kept away from nasty websites that might want to use Flash and can play all my music collections and podcasts. I can even control it with 2 fingers.
    On the Windoze tablet, I can watch videos in non-HD and non-widescreen format. I can put a pretty picture on the front screen and run software that other people have to look at on 22″ monitors.
    What do I need an iPad for then?

  4. Breetai says:

    I’ll still really want one too but now I see 2 big hurdles that may kill it for me. #1 DRM free content(I don’t mind iTunes but I need to have access to my content I purchase after the device becomes obsolete) and #2 Flash.

  5. McCullough says:

    Ridiculous and useless product. What were they thinking?

  6. bamf says:

    They were thinking that they have a user base of lemmings that will buy any piece of shit they make.

  7. sargasso says:

    #6. “They were thinking that they have a user base of lemmings that will buy any piece of shit they make.” – like Fox News?

  8. RBG says:

    Those college guys kill! I really don’t think I have potentially laughed more in a long, long time.

    If they assure us their future iPad jokes will be funny as hell, who am I to disagree? There’s just all those things that were so hilarious about it. Lots of things.

    Anyway, let’s applaud them now. Perhaps give them a Pulitzer Prize in advance, like Obama and his Nobel, based on the obvious possibility that these jokes could be really, really funny. Like they were.


  9. deowll says:

    Jobs should have gone with Islate. The Ipad is going to become the Maxipad. There’s no way to prevent it. Who wants to pull out their new toy only to have their friends say, “Hey, yah ga’tah maxipad!”

    I still think the device has a lot of potential but they should have allowed you to install a memory card or two that you bought, added a couple of USB ports, and allowed you to swap out batteries. They also need a built in camera for video conferencing.

  10. Somebody_Else says:

    I wouldn’t mind an Intel Atom powered “slate” computer like the unit HP demoed at CES. It needs to be $450 or less though.

    High prices have been holding back touchscreen computers. The netbook boom shows that people really want small, low cost secondary systems.

    As for this garbage from Apple:
    No USB?
    No Multitasking?
    No Unapproved Software?
    No thanks.

  11. Awake says:

    Pee Wee Herman gets an iPad. I specially like what he finally uses it for.

  12. qb says:

    JCD: “First of all there is no stylus.”

    You lost me there. What’s next, Spock with a beard?

  13. Craptastic says:

    The iPad is for crazed Apple fanboys and people who have more money than they do common sense.

    I swear Steve Jobs could get on stage and shit in a bucket and the entire audience would want to run up and smell it.

    What a bunch of sheep.

  14. KMFIX says:

    4 things it needs, then I’d buy.

    2 USB ports
    Charge via USB

  15. derspankster says:

    Exactly Craptastic, well said.

  16. Skeptic says:

    Yawn… didn’t even crack a smile. RBG, what are you smoking? I want some.

  17. polybot says:

    The iPad will NEVER work!
    It doesn’t have USB, like my old computer.
    It doesn’t have a full keyboard permanently attached, like my old computer.
    It doesn’t have a floppy drive, like my old computer.
    It doesn’t have a CD-ROM drive, like my old computer.
    It doesn’t have a mouse, like my old computer.
    It doesn’t have expansion slots, like my old computer.
    It doesn’t have an upgradable power supply, like my old computer.
    It will never catch on.

  18. McCullough says:

    #11. Nice…good find.

  19. Lou says:

    Even the fanboys lost their erection.

  20. jaywontdart says:

    As a New Zealander, I honestly dont get whats so funny about the word “pad” to some Americans….I have a “pad” of paper….is that a joke too? you “pad” your resume? Is that hilarious? “ho ho ho, that means you stick sanitary pads to your resume? ha ha ha….”

    For the love of…the 3G version HAS GPS! How do people not realise that?
    ” * Wi-Fi
    * Digital compass
    * Assisted GPS (Wi-Fi + 3G model)
    * Cellular (Wi-Fi + 3G model)”


    Please correct others who whine about lack of GPS…..

    I guess all other devices get similar “basher bloggers” at the start, “im not buying it until it comes with a floppy drive…”, I’m sure Steve Jobs with his billions really needs your 500 bucks 🙂 I cant wait to see if this thing does turn out to be popular too! I remember the iPhone hate, and the iPod bashing before that!

  21. GregA says:


    What do you need faux GPS for on a device that is designed to play with while you are watching TV? Im considering new cars are all coming with turn by turn gps built in… I have never found those iPhone maps useful while I am driving, nor the horrible little gps apps for the iPhone. I will just use a little dedicated GPS device thank you.

    Again, just about everybody who is being critical of the device has used an iPhone and knows exactly what the capabilities are. It is useful as a phone, but as a computer sort of replacement device???

  22. brian t says:

    I just listened to the most recent DH Unplugged, which was recorded before the Apple announcement. Dvorak was pretty much spot-on about what the iPad would turn out to be. Except for the name, because that was already used by Fujitsu, which makes me suspect that the Lawyers are waxing up their skis as I write …

  23. yeahright says:

    “The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a ‘mouse’. There is no evidence that people want to use these things.” – John C. Dvorak, San Francisco Examiner, February 19, 1984

    Yep. JCD is a paragon of computer knowledge when it comes to all things Mac.

  24. yougottobekiddiingme says:

    #23 Here is another time Dvorak was “spot-on”.

    “I think Apple can do wrong and I think this is it.” JCD talking on CNBC Jan 2007 on the debut of the iPhone.

    Wooohoooo he sure was spot-on with that call.

  25. Pikachu says:

    Boring… This lame video brought to you by Microsoft.

  26. Buzz says:

    Should have been the “iPlaque.” No humor there.

  27. Sulabha Jobonee says:

    Because we can formulate a lame joke about a subject, it stands to reason that the subject itself is completely lame.

    “American Reasoning” by Heywood Djablowmi, 2004. 1856pp. Holt.

  28. GregA says:


    And people didn’t start using the mouse until 1991. His prediction was spot on for 1984. Still in 1984 and apple brings up that add, then here we are and all apples


    And the iPhone, when it cost $600 dollars was a failure, and it was a failure again when they lowered the price to $400 (and it was such an embarrassing failure at that point, Apple had to refund to people who bought it at $600). It sold a little better at $200, but now that it is at $100 and is priced to compete with the free with service phones, it is selling like hotcakes… Because as a free with service phone it is a pretty awesome phone. But they still only have a fraction of the sales that RIM has in the “smart phone” segment.

    And then there is the embarrassing trick that Apple had to play last year by calling the iPod Touch a phone to try and make it look like it sold better than the razr phone in first 18 months…

    And all the breathless announcements about the app store app don’t seem to make up for the fact that almost all the most downloaded apps are rss feeds that make up for the broken mobile Safari.

    For example, check out the video of the presser, when Steve got the BLOD (blue Lego of death) when he tried to browse the NYTimes.com web page.

    Just look at the iTunes store top apps. All three lists are filled with games, which reveals the iPhone for what it is, a toy. And the iPad is a toy as well.

    That’s what makes this device so funny. Here is apple selling a video game console, and they are uncomfortable with that role, so they never skip a beat while hawking their video game console, to the point that they don’t really show it off as a video game console…

    Don’t get me wrong, I think Apple will sell 20 or 30 million of these things over the next three years. I only ask that mac fans stop pretending that it is anything but a video game console toy.

  29. chieftwit says:

    Apple Fanboy lose their erection??? Ha. You should have heard me on my radio show on Sunday promoting the ipad. Last time I was this excited was before the I first saw Steve Jobs in a pair of tight jeans.

  30. RBG says:

    32 Greg A “Still in 1984 and apple brings up that ad, then here we are and all apples.”

    Either that or Aug. 6, 1997: Apple Rescued — by Microsoft from certain bankruptcy.



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