Huh. Your Uncle Dave was blissfully away on vacation and somehow missed this momentous event. Did any of you watch it? Apparently, Herman “Godfather Pizza” Cain won it.

Waterboarding is torture. But it is not the only cruel and unusual punishment.

Consider Thursday night’s “presidential” debate between Republican also-rans Tim Pawlenty, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, Gary Johnson and Ron Paul — a former governor, a former senator, a former CEO, another former governor and a former Libertarian Party nominee for the nation’s top job.

The first face-off between the Grand Old Party’s third-stringers was so bereft of consequence that House Speaker John Boehner, spotted at a Washington steakhouse at the same time the Fox News-hosted debate was going on, allowed as how he would be satisfied to “read about it tomorrow.”

On a night when everyone who might actually end up as the party’s challenger to President Obama was otherwise engaged, the Republican remainders distinguished themselves with lines like Godfather’s Pizza king Cain’s response to a question about Afghanistan policy: “At this point, I don’t know all the facts.”




  1. What? says:

    Cain has the credentials and experience to be plausible. But reading his words as reported by the media, I’m struck that he is another MORAN.

    Ron Paul, maybe, please?

  2. Buzz Mega says:

    You guys missed the story about Bobby Jindal releasing his birth certificate. Anybody without Dutch white skin will be required to do so from now on, says the Donald, who has Dutch white skin and looks awful in the locker room.

    But the certificate isn’t the long form, and I think this story is going to be Eyoooge!

  3. bobbo, the Republicans are out to Destroy the Middle Class says:

    Yep, all we need is a President who thinks being the night manager of a Pizza Hut is “a good job.”

    8 Years of Bush tax Cuts and an economic collapse and they are all running on more of the same.

    Normally you could call it Dedicated to Dogma but in this case its just greed.

  4. Schorschi says:

    “You’re?”

    Why don’t you guys learn to spell?

    How about “YOUR Uncle Dave” instead?

    All these middle-school educated Americans who don’t know how to spell.

    [Ha! Just making up for the hundreds of times commentors have used “your” instead of “you’re” or “there” instead of “their” or “to” instead of “too” or… –UD]

  5. Bobkat says:

    In his effort to be cute and portray all these debaters as formers (has beens), Mr. Nichols neglects to include that Ron Paul is a current Representative for the State of Texas and has been since 1997. Of course I would expect no less from our “National Treasure” NPR,third string media and all.

  6. tcc3 says:

    #6 The favored nominees thought it was so important they didn’t bother to show. Boener didn’t seem to think it mattered.

    Why would NPR be any different?

    They report that they are also rans and third stringers because thats exactly what they are. Sorry they didn’t kiss your ass.

  7. Somebody says:

    If any of these guys end up running against Obama it will be a real shame.

    Because it will mean that the Democrat party had no problem with George Bush except for the fact that he was Republican.

  8. moss says:

    And the Associated Press considered the Fox-constructed event so rigged and trite they refused to cover it.

    How do you offend someone as dull as the AP?

  9. dusanmal says:

    How Left Media inte3ntionaly distorts the facts against Right:

    “Republican remainders distinguished themselves with lines like Godfather’s Pizza king Cain’s response to a question about Afghanistan policy: “At this point, I don’t know all the facts.” ”

    a) Mr Cain was indeed running the Pizza chain… But guess what Left “forgets” – him running Fed’ office… Diminish, intentionally.
    b) Those who didn’t watch would believe “At this point, I don’t know all the facts.” quote. Why would media lie? It is Left Media. Actual answer started with (paraphrasing somewhat but including what have been actually said): “I am not privy to all the facts on the ground… I have no access to classified military information…” – which is fundamentally different than “I don’t know”. Followed by what would he demand from military once informed. So, intentionally tweak answer to appear stupid. If roles were reversed, there would be cries of “racism”.
    So, that is Progressive Media answer: diminish and lie.

  10. Mr. Show says:

    Herman Cain is a dangerous man alright. A successful business man who wants to serve his country and is a proponent of the Fair Tax. Sounds refreshing to me and scary to the Potomac two-steppers.

    Clearly his private-sector experience and practical mindedness will rankle a few ivory tower progs. It’s a shame when such great ideas are seen as radical or “dumb” to the mouth breathers who cannot possibly go beyond the media pablum of NPR, FoxNews, or Media Matters.

    Bring it on Herman!

  11. ThinkBeforeYouSpeak says:

    #2 Many candidates with “Dutch white skin”, as you say, have been asked for their birth certificates, for decades, including McCain twice. Obama is the only candidate to refused to comply.

  12. sargasso_c says:

    A vigorous opposition is democracy’s best, something something. Did someone mention pizza?

  13. Ruger SP101 says:

    San Francisco’s Sheriff has stated that he will ignore Federal Law and not report illegal aliens to Feds.
    So I will happily ignore California law and totally ignore all firearms laws.

  14. howard beale says:

    yawn just another fox pundit tv show its like baseball in early in the season (who cares who played or who won) wake me when we get to postseason play

    unless trump gets in the game i understand he cooks and eats his dead

  15. NoMoreETard says:

    #4

    So… Let me get this straight. A night manager job a the Pizza Hut is a bad job? At this point, at least he/she is able to feed their family (Maybe even pay the mortgage) instead of living off of the state. Way to go Bobbo! Apparently it is only an OK job if it meets your high criteria. I own a business and for some reason I think it important that I have a LITTLE money left over to feed my family too!

  16. Mr Fog says:

    Reagan had 69 years old when he elected. People thought he too old. Ron Paul 76 and “libertarian”. He not even third string.

    “Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.” – G.Burns

  17. foobar says:

    Who cares. None of them will win. However Gilligan’s Island is off the air so this could fill the gap.

  18. What? says:

    Having read the (redundant, poorly written, sophmoric) Wiki page on FairTax(tm), I am convinced that anyone who believes in the fairtale is: a MORAN, wants a black market economy, or wants to destroy all commerce in the US.

    It will be regressive, it encourages babymaking (fine if that floats your boat, but don’t make me pay for your Ficken fun), it will kill purchases of new items (which is the US economy), it will be a 40-50% increase in the price of new goods (my estimate based on my taxes currently), and will LOWER MY PERSONAL TAX RATE BY A LARGE AMOUNT because I’m well paid (currently) and have no deductions.

  19. Dallas says:

    Heard from my ‘Puke friends (really) and think this is great.

    I’m unfamiliar with the winner of this beauty contest because I only eat wood fired pizza not served on cardboard. As I said before, Trump is like a fast ripening banana and his time is up soon.

    The TB’s and GOP need fresh meat but so far I fear Mad Cow Disease being served. Let’s wish them well

  20. bobbo, the Republicans are out to Destroy the Middle Class says:

    #17–NomoreEtard==you counter with complete reasonableness. Let’s parse:

    So… Let me get this straight. A night manager job a the Pizza Hut is a bad job? /// Yes and no depending on the issue being addressed. In context, as a half joke with reference to Cain’s experience: its not the kind of job that will encourage/support a jobs recovery for the USA economy. It is a consumption/service job that is dependent on the real engines of success: production. In context, that should be readily apparent.

    At this point, at least he/she is able to feed their family (Maybe even pay the mortgage) /// I said night manager, not Regional Manager, not Day Manager.

    instead of living off of the state. /// Yes, the feared Cadillac driving big screen welfare life style. any of you class warrior actually go visit/know a typical welfare/soc sec/medicaid/food stamp recipient? None of us would choose to live that way and I have nothing but pity for those who find themselves variously trapped in such life styles. Just recognize this minimum safety net is way cheaper than jailing them. Think beyond the worst of short term selfish “I’ve got mine, screw you” Republican base line appeals.

    Way to go Bobbo! Apparently it is only an OK job if it meets your high criteria. /// Night jobs by definition are taken only by necessity “IF” having a meaningful healthy family life is your goal. Ok for those who like night work, single, second job, going to school.

    I own a business and for some reason I think it important that I have a LITTLE money left over to feed my family too! /// Of course. Thats true for everyone. What’s your point?

  21. Special Ed says:

    Can’t we discuss the end of the world May 21st when all of the religious fucks are suppose to leave? That’ll really put a damper on the repulsivcan voting base.

  22. fubar says:

    Wow, a hit piece by U.S. Pravda, how devastating.

  23. Animby says:

    # 22 bobbo & #17–NomoreEtard :
    I gotta say, working 8 hours a night/5 nights a week with little responsibility and basically not having to think, sounds a lot like heaven sometimes.

    Just sayin’…

  24. Your Old English Teacher says:

    @Schorschi: It’s “commenter”, not “commentor”, you pretentious gimboid.

  25. jccalhoun says:

    anyone else think half these comments on here are by the same person?

  26. bobbo, the Republicans are out to Destroy the Middle Class says:

    #25–Animby==just to double emphasize my point since you totally missed it, and Etard may miss it as he’s too close to your idea of heaven: thats why the critique is yes and no. Yes, its heaven for those who want a structured environment, little authority, and no meaningful home life.

    But such jobs are not what America needs to rebuild its economy, effectively compete with the Asian Tiger.

    We need jobs that Pizza Hut supports, not Pizza Hut jobs themselves–they are derivative of a healthy economy.

    Who knows which of those stupid PUKES up on that stage is better or worse than any other? Point being: they are all PUKES and they are out to destroy America with their values pandering/non-delivery while they cut taxes which has directly lead to the economic crises we have today====and all of them only want to do more of it.

    Yea, verily. Wise up.

  27. MikeN says:

    Fred Thompson had the right idea, even if he didn’t win anything. These debates shouldn’t be starting for at least another 6 months.

  28. GF says:

    Yes.
    What’s different? You always seem on vacation to me ;)~

  29. howard beale says:

    lets see, cain’s CV can reference both god and organized crime thats like a win win for republicans

  30. JimD says:

    GOP “Candidates” = Random Collection of GARDEN GNOMES !!! None with any “Gravitas” !!! I think the GOP will take a PASS ON 2012 !!!


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