Dvorak News Blog

The Abortion War Has Changed

By Uncle Dave Monday July 27, 2009

A new fault line has opened in the abortion debate. The fight is no longer between pro-lifers and pro-choicers. It’s between militants and pragmatists.

While some extremists have been raising hell and shooting doctors, pragmatists have been hashing out common-ground legislation. Their latest bill, introduced Thursday, is the Preventing Unintended Pregnancies, Reducing the Need for Abortion, and Supporting Parents Act. If that sounds like a jumble of ideas from both sides, it’s because lots of bargaining went into it. Among other things, pro-choicers got money for contraception and sex education. Pro-lifers got abstinence-friendly curriculum, a bigger adoption tax credit, and financial support for women who continue their pregnancies.

The two sides talked, listened, and compromised. Pro-lifers couldn’t stand postcoital birth-control pills, fearing they might kill early embryos. The fear was unwarranted, but pro-choicers agreed to leave the pills out. Pro-choicers couldn’t stand even the vaguest legislative description of what doctors should tell patients. That anxiety, too, was unnecessary, but pro-lifers agreed to drop the language. Pro-choicers hated abstinence-only education but agreed to fund “evidence-based programs that encourage teens to delay sexual activity.” Pro-lifers wanted women to see prenatal ultrasound images but settled for money to make the machines more widely available.

Each side faced the other’s truths. Joel Hunter, an evangelical minister and former president-elect of the Christian Coalition, endorsed the bill’s provision of “better access to contraception.” So did two other pro-life theologians. Frances Kissling, who served for 25 years as president of Catholics for Choice, embraced pregnancy-prevention efforts that “meet women’s own goal of avoiding abortion where possible.” Rep. Rosa DeLauro, D-CT, the bill’s principal pro-choice sponsor, said at a Thursday press conference that “we all want to see fewer unintended pregnancies and abortions” and that “we must also foster an environment that encourages pregnancies to be carried to term.” Such statements are forbidden among pro-choice groups: You’re supposed to endorse reducing the “need” for abortion, not abortion itself, and you’re never supposed to concede that financial support for childbearing should influence abortion decisions. But DeLauro blurted it out. That’s what happens when you open your mind.

No Agenda #116 – Now Available On Cage Match

By KD Martin Sunday July 26, 2009

3 Comments

Click image to go to No Agenda.

John and Adam discuss the news of the day from an international perspective

Queue / cue / Q the closing credits — We hope you enjoy the show!

No Agenda Archive

Running time: approx. 90 mins.

‘Bama Bible Bangers Blow Tops Over “Porn” Wine Label

By lperdue Sunday July 26, 2009

41 Comments

The ‘Bama Taliban still rule down in the Bible Belt. But what can you say about folks whose idea of erotic vibration comes from a chain saw?

To say that this wine label is pornographic is ridiculous. It’s a classic piece of art from the late 1800s and originals are sold for as much as $50,000.”

The whole turgid tale is told by Bill Leigon, President of Hahn Family Wines which produces Cycles Gladiator Wines. Leigon said that the wines, ” available to consumers in Alabama for three years, have been banned from restaurants and retail establishments this week by the Alabama Beverage Control Board which has deemed the wine brand label as “pornographic.” Cycles Gladiator Wines has complied and wine distributors across Alabama have been forced to remove the wine from accounts.

Leigon notes that the Cycles Gladiator label “bears a replica of an antique French poster created in 1895 to advertise bicycles. It features an artistic rendition of a nude woman flying alongside a bicycle across a star-filled night sky.”

For students who would like to major in beer…

By Eideard Sunday July 26, 2009

11 Comments

A fully functioning micro-brewery is to be built at The University of Nottingham. The facility will enhance its world leading teaching and research in brewing science.

The £2 million state-of-the-art brewing research facility is being built and operated by SABMiller — one of the world’s largest brewing companies. It will be used to research new technologies for the brewing industry aimed at reducing the amount of energy required in the production process by optimising the fermentation process while maintaining beer quality.

The 1000 litre plant, located in the School of Biosciences at Sutton Bonington, will be one of the largest micro-breweries at any university in the world and is due to open its doors in 2011. The facility will be used to deliver courses to train brewers in the production of beer and deliver the University’s flagship masters degree in brewing science. It will be used by SABMiller and the University to develop and rigorously test new technologies and processes to enhance beer quality and shelf life, while improving the sustainability of brewing…

In collaboration with experts from the University’s Faculties of Science and Engineering a series of novel technologies will be developed to optimise the brewing process…

Better Living Through Chemistry.

A Smashing Good Way To Cure (or not) Constipation

By Uncle Dave Sunday July 26, 2009

28 Comments

Viorel Firoiu, 48, turned up at the local general hospital in Orlea, southern Romania, complaining of incredible abdominal pains.

Doctors who carried out an x-ray of the man were amazed to find not one but two hammerheads stuck up his backside.

Dr Cristina Bontescu, spokeswoman for the local hospital where he turned up at the emergency unit, said: “He was a bit drunk and said he had been eating cherries that had left him badly constipated. He said he had a few drinks to dull the pain and then came up with the idea of poking a hammerhead up his backside in the hope of sorting out the constipation.

“But the hammerhead got stuck and then he came up with the idea of using a second hammerhead in order to try and get out the first – but then he lost the second one as well.”

Busted: Paradise For Prisoners & Crooked Cops

By Uncle Dave Sunday July 26, 2009

10 Comments

It’s almost too fanciful to be true: a prisoner is picked up from jail and taken for a drive by police officers through the suburbs on Brisbane’s southside.

He’s handed a list of unsolved break-and-enters, perhaps as many as 300. He reads the details: how entry was gained, what was taken, the time the crime was committed. And he’s told that he needs to admit to at least 20 to make his reward worthwhile. What was that? According to evidence given by the prisoner to the Crime and Misconduct Commission, police collected his girlfriend and delivered her to Morningside police station, reports the Courier Mail. And it was there where they engaged in sex and the prisoner injected himself with drugs his girlfriend brought.
[…]
Murderers and armed robbers were allowed out of custody: one to meet his partner and young children in Roma Street Parkland for a play; another to lunch at a swish riverside restaurant.
[…]And with more than 25 officers implicated in wrongdoing – ranging from stupidity to outright criminal activity – it should not be dismissed as easily as it was this week.

The sheer brazenness of some officers seems to know no bounds. Take this example, also outlined in the report.

An informant fund existed, courtesy of the Australian Bankers Association and the Credit Union Security Forum. And over the period of its operation, 77 payments were made, a total of $17,990.

But no records were kept, an “end justifies the means” mentality meant that few rules existed, and money was misappropriated.

The punishment? Har! Resignation with full benefits of course!

In other exciting Brisbane crime news, cab drivers can be fined $100 for not having their socks pulled up.

Reincarnation Bank? You’ve got to be kidding!

By Eideard Sunday July 26, 2009

29 Comments

I appreciate truly simple hustles. And I learned long ago that The Religious were always the easiest to dazzle with footwork.

This morning, my wife noticed a Google Adsense advert when she went to log into her online banking account this morning. It was for the Reincarnation Bank.

What? Yes, the Reincarnation Bank.

Worried about how well off you will be in the next life? Just deposit money on a regular basis into an account you establish in the Reincarnation Bank – in Gibraltar [chuckle] – and it will be waiting for you when you return with your authorized spirit in a new persona – after reincarnation.

“As in this life, in the next you will have memories of previous lives. One of these recollections will be of your arrangement with Reincarnation Bank. Whatever version of the internet or data retrieval mechanisms in use at the time of your return, you will renew your contact with Reincarnation Bank and through regression you will recall the details/instructions that you left at the time of making your deposit. A custodian of Reincarnation Bank will open your letter privately in your presence and will ask you to repeat the details contained therein (whilst in regression). Once this has been satisfactorily achieved, funds/property will be handed back to you and the account closed.”

Got that?

Thanks, Helen

Yeeehaa! The Recession Is Over! Sort Of.

By Uncle Dave Sunday July 26, 2009

23 Comments

That’s a relief. We can now go back to spending wildly, buying houses with no money down and being stereotypical American capitalist pigs eating heartily at the trough of plenty. If you’re still employed, that is.

The Great Recession, which rolled over our financial lives like one of P.J. Keating’s giant pavers, is most likely over. Home sales, while still far below the levels of a year ago, have risen for three straight months—a first since 2004. The stock market has rallied 44 percent since March, thanks to renewed optimism and improving earnings from big companies like Goldman Sachs and Apple. In June, seven of the 10 indicators in the Conference Board Leading Economic Index pointed upward, including manufacturing hours worked and unemployment claims.
[…]
Irrational exuberance, it’s not. But even stagnation would be an improvement over recent history. […] Catastrophe may have been averted. But when economists proclaim a recession over, they’re celebrating a technicality: they mean economic output has stopped contracting.
[…]
Worse, the data point that means the most to our psychological well-being—unemployment—is likely to keep climbing. The loss of 6.5 million jobs since December 2007 has spurred the sharpest rise in the unemployment rate since the 1930s. As manufacturing jobs move overseas and companies struggle to further reduce costs, unemployment—which stands at 9.5 percent—is likely to rise above 10 percent. “There’s a difference between having an expansion and an economy that has recovered,” says Lawrence Summers, Obama’s chief economic adviser.

Having survived a near-death economic experience, Americans now need to focus on surviving what’s likely to be a pokey, painful recovery. “I see 1 percent growth in the economy in the next few years,” says New York University economist Nouriel Roubini.

Want to undo your salvation? Our operators are here to help you.

By Eideard Saturday July 25, 2009

62 Comments

Up until last summer, Jennifer Gray of Columbus, Ohio, considered herself “a weak Christian” whose baptism at age 11 in a Kentucky church came to mean less and less to her as she gradually lost faith in God.

Then the 32-year-old medical transcriptionist took a decisive step, one that previously hadn’t been available. She got “de-baptized.”

In a type of mock ceremony that’s now been performed in at least four states, a robed “priest” used a hairdryer marked “reason” in an apparent bid to blow away the waters of baptism once and for all. Several dozen participants then fed on a “de-sacrament” (crackers with peanut butter) and received certificates assuring they had “freely renounced a previous mistake, and accepted Reason over Superstition….”

Within the past year, “de-baptism” ceremonies have attracted as many as 250 participants at atheist conventions in Ohio, Texas, Florida and Georgia. More have taken place on college campuses in recent years, according to Hemant Mehta, chair of the board of directors for the Secular Student Alliance, a group that promotes atheism among high school and college students….

In Christian theology, baptism can’t be undone. If a Southern Baptist renounces his or her baptism, then that person is usually presumed to have never received an authentic baptism in the first place, according to Nathan Finn, assistant professor at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

Personally I like the Southern Baptist aesopian copout response best: Your first baptism was sour anyway. Har!

Thanks, K B

Food tattoos – tasty or just plain demented?

By Eideard Saturday July 25, 2009

17 Comments

There is a tattoo trend afoot. We’ve had dolphins, ancient symbols, “ironic” sailor tattoos and now I give you … the food tattoo…

When Lulu Grimes of Olive magazine Twittered these food tattoos I thought it was a pretty funny joke. But it turns out these are real tattoos. As in, these people are stuck with them forever.

Don’t get me wrong, I love food. I spend much too much time planning what I will eat next and have many favourite foods. Most of them involve cheese. But, never in all my days of scraping the last crumb of Stilton off the rind, have I considered marking my love of the stinky cheese in a permanent fashion.

The shaven-headed man pictured above loves fried breakfasts so much that he sports a full English on his shiny pate. At least he could grow his hair back to cover it up, although the thought of a baked bean peeking out of his parting makes me feel a little nauseous. A woman has a cherry-topped cupcake on her foot, but look a little closer and the cherry is a skull. Sinister. And weird. Yet another shows a piece of toast, complete with smiling face, spreading itself with jam. The toast looks happy enough, I wonder whether the owner of the tat is quite so jolly?

The Wedding Dance

By Uncle Dave Saturday July 25, 2009

21 Comments

Headline Of The Day: “Swedish lesbians suck sperm banks dry”

By Uncle Dave Friday July 24, 2009

23 Comments

Sweden’s fertility clinics are racking up a serious backlog of people waiting for artificial insemination, due in part to a “spike” in demand from lesbian couples for vital supplies of man juice.

So bad have things got that expectant customers at Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg are now forced to wait 18 months for treatment.

The problem, the Göteborgs-Posten explains, is that a 2005 law change granted “female same-sex couples” the right to fertility treatment at Swedish hospitals. Previously, this privilege extended only to married women or those who were “registered heterosexual partners”.

Inger Bryman, Sahlgrenska’s head of gynaecology and reproductive medicine, told the paper: “We had estimated an increase of around 25 couples per year after the law change. Now there are 90 couples in line.”

Sweden’s lesbians are not the sole cause of the sperm drought. Swedish law allows kids to learn their biological father’s identity once they turn 18. This hasn’t done much to encourage donors.

The main reason, though, is apparently duff sperm – “either related to deterioration while being frozen or to medical conditions”.

Um… I could be mistaken here, but I would think getting new supplies wouldn’t be that hard to come by. So to speak.

Part Bicycle, Part Motorcycle but it’s no Moped

By hhopper Friday July 24, 2009

34 Comments

Pretty cool concept but WAY too expensive.

Found by ECA on Cage Match.

Legal “loophole” in Rhode Island permits 16-year-old strippers

By Joe C Friday July 24, 2009

26 Comments

A shocking legal loophole discovered by authorities in Rhode Island.

While teens can’t pump gas or climb ladders on the job because of protections in workplace laws, there is nothing on the books keeping 16- and 17-year-olds from stripping – as long as they’re home by 11:30 on school nights.

Authorities discovered this loophole during a police investigation into a 16-year-old runaway found working at a strip club in Providence.

Florida town fires manager married to porn star

By Eideard Friday July 24, 2009

35 Comments

A South Florida town manager who married a porn star last year was fired at an emergency meeting after the mayor and council members learned about it.

Fort Myers Beach town council voted 5-0 to fire Scott Janke “without cause” after Mayor Larry Kiker called the Tuesday night meeting.

Kiker told the News-Press of Fort Myers he learned that afternoon that Janke’s wife is an adult film star, and the elected officials took the action a few hours later.

“We did everything we could not to judge,” Kiker told the paper. “It’s not about him and her. It’s about the town…”

Kiker acknowledged that Janke had violated no rules or laws and added that he had done a good job for the island town….

Councilman Tom Babcock, responding to residents’ questions, said at a council meeting Wednesday that Janke was fired because his wife’s profession brought an inaccurate image to Fort Myers Beach, according to the News-Press.

Just what we need, government based on what-will-the-neighbors-think.

Thanks, K B