TNS: Made from only the finest circumcised baby foreskins

Since the beginning of time, people have been slathering themselves in all sorts of bizarre substances in the hopes of becoming more beautiful.

Modern technology has exposed a lot of these concoctions to be worthless (or, in the case of Elizabethan-era women using lead paint to lighten their skin, very harmful) and also given us less disgusting alternatives (like synthetic dyes replacing bat poop in mascara).

And yet, the weirdness continues.

Here are some odd ingredients used in beauty products and treatments today.

Snail Secretion: In 2009 Michael Todd Cosmetics introduced Knu Anti-Aging Tri-Complex, which includes a 90 percent concentration of, yes, actual snail goo. They claim the (purified) secretion has excellent regenerative properties and helps prevent and correct wrinkles and loss of firmness.

And then the list gets weird



 

This Episode’s Executive Producers: Daniel Rudolph, Konstantin Rakatin, Matthew Greensmith
Associate Executive Producers: Pac III Computer, Sander Hoksbergen
Art by: Sir Randy Asher
Knighthoods: Sir Daniel Rudolph, Sir Konstantin Rakatin

Note, the show was recorded before the final game of the World Cup. We predicted the victor (with the reason) and Adam predicted the exact score.

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CANDIA – Liquid Planet Water Park has been waiting more than two years for a miracle.

Since Kevin Dumont and his family opened the park in 2008, Mother Nature has sent far too many rainy days.

But this year, just after opening, water park staff members saw an unexpected sight as the lifeguard flag was unfurled. In the middle of the red cross was a shadowy face that resembled images of Jesus Christ.

Since the face on the flag was revealed, the weather has been more than perfect, Dumont said. Business is up over 200 percent from last year.

Today, Father Volney “Von” DeRosia from St. Joseph’s Church in Epping will be visiting the park to take a look at the image.

Har!

Found by Jay.



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PORTLAND, Ore. — A car full of people dressed as zombies crashed on Interstate 84 near downtown Portland on Friday, causing initial confusion by people who witnessed the crash. Portland Police said the car was swerving in the eastbound lanes of the freeway just east of the Lloyd District just after 9:30 p.m. when it rolled over and crashed onto its top.

Emergency crews took five victims from the crash to area hospitals with non-life-threatening injuries.

Police said that in their investigation they learned that the people inside the car were dressed as zombie costumes and they were headed to a party at the time of the crash. Sgt. Greg Stewart said people who witnessed the crash initially thought the victims’ injuries were much more serious, because of the zombie costumes.

“We’re glad that everyone is alive, despite being ‘undead’,” Sgt. Stewart said, referring to the costumes. While everyone in the car was taken to the hospital, Stewart said crews are investigating the possibility that more people were in the car at the time of the crash but fled the scene on foot.

The crash halted traffic in the eastbound lanes for about an hour, reducing travel to just one lane. All eastbound lanes were opened at around 11 p.m.

Oh the irony.


UPDATE!

The Washington Post

Would you steer away from this post if you had to use your real name to leave a comment here?

Santa Monica, Calif.-based Activision Blizzard just put that question to many of its customers. In a post earlier this week on its Battle.net forums, the game developer informed players of its popular Starcraft and World of Warcraft games, among others, that they would soon have to use their legal monikers when chatting about their in-game exploits on its forums.

Blizzard defended the change as a necessary move to stop spamming and trash-talking:

Removing the veil of anonymity typical to online dialogue will contribute to a more positive forum environment, promote constructive conversations, and connect the Blizzard community in ways they haven’t been connected before.

As of this morning, 74 pages of comments follow that post. The ones I’ve read don’t seem too positive about Blizzard’s move. Typical reply, from “Marine71”: “What an awful idea. Who comes up with this trash? Seriously. What happened to you, Blizzard?”

Hmmmm… would you comment on Dvorak Uncensored if you had to use your real name?


I’ve stopped reading news about John McCain for the same reason I tune out the daily updates on Afghanistan and the BP oil spill: It’s just too damned depressing. Well into the 2008 primary season, McCain still showed glimmers of a gutsy, independent spirit, speaking out of turn and bucking his party on issues of conscience, like the use of torture. Since losing to Barack Obama, however, he’s turned into the kind of party hack he used to live to mess with.

In the last few months, McCain has flipped his position on dropping the military’s anti-gay “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, soft-pedaled his support for climate-change legislation, and dropped his support for humane, comprehensive immigration reform. In just the past week, he has come out against Elena Kagan’s Supreme Court nomination on the lamest of grounds and defended Arizona’s ugly anti-immigrant law against challenge by the Justice Department.

It’s hard to believe that this is the same guy who, a decade ago, was denouncing Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson as “agents of intolerance,” who reduced Minority Leader Mitch McConnell to a sputtering rage with his efforts to ban soft money, who opposed Bush’s tax cuts, and who stood up to Dick Cheney on the treatment of accused terrorists. When McCain told Newsweek earlier this year that he has never considered himself a “maverick,” it sounded like another confession under duress, with the Tea Party standing in for the Viet Cong.
[…]
Part of the reason is that a politician can only shift on his axis so many times and be taken seriously. And part is that McCain’s personality does, unfortunately, seem to have changed in a more fundamental way. Running for president in 2008 was as bad for McCain as running in 2000 was good for him. Playing the rebel against the Republican establishment made him young again. Running as his party’s standard-bearer turned him into a grumpy old man.

In other words, we would be just as bad off had he won, in different ways perhaps, than what we got with Obama. We can’t win for losing anymore.

And perhaps it just doesn’t matter who is president anymore both because of corruption and because the country, like this article suggests Japan may have become, is ungovernable.



An unidentified flying object (UFO) disrupted air traffic over Zhejiang’s provincial capital Hangzhou late on Wednesday, the municipal government said on Thursday. Xiaoshan Airport was closed after the UFO was detected at around 9 pm, and some flights were rerouted to airports in the cities of Ningbo and Wuxi , said an airport spokesman, who declined to be named.

The airport had resumed operations, and more details will be released after an investigation, he said.

A source with knowledge of the matter, however, told China Daily on Thursday that authorities had learned what the UFO was after an investigation. But it was not the proper time to publicly disclose the information because there was a military connection, he said, adding that an official explanation is expected to be given on Friday. Inbound flights were diverted to the nearby airports in Zhejiang province’s Ningbo and Jiangsu province’s Wuxi. Outbound flights were delayed for three to four hours.

A staff member at the airport’s information desk said the airport had “no idea” how many flights were affected by the closure. At around 11 pm on Wednesday, a netizen wrote three entries announcing the airport’s closure in his microblog at Sina.com, but they were all soon deleted.


The simple procedure causes the modified mice to reject the advances of their male counterparts and attempt to mate with fellow females.

Researchers found that disabling the FucM gene – which influences the levels of oestrogen to which the brain is exposed – caused the mice to behave as if they were male as they grew up.

Professor Chankyu Park of the Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology in Daejon, South Korea, who led the research, said: “The mutant female mouse underwent a slightly altered developmental programme in the brain to resemble the male brain in terms of sexual preference.”

Scientists have long sought a genetic link to homosexuality, but the academics behind the latest study stressed that it was impossible to say whether their discovery had any relevance to human sexuality.
[…]
Professor Park now hopes to investigate whether the enzyme produced by the gene – fucose mutarotase – has any influence on human sexuality, but conceded that it may be “very difficult” to find willing volunteers.

He obviously has never been to San Francisco.



A year and a half ago, we posted this video of the shooting of an unarmed, handcuffed man in the back at an Oakland BART station. The trial ended yesterday. If it was an accident and not intentional, to not know your gun from a Taser, much less be sure of what you’re holding before firing, is a level of incompetence that is beyond unacceptable.

A jury found former BART police Officer Johannes Mehserle guilty Thursday of involuntary manslaughter, concluding that he did not intend to kill train rider Oscar Grant when he shot him in the back on New Year’s Day 2009 but acted so recklessly that he showed a disregard for Grant’s life.

The verdict was an all-but-unprecedented instance of a police officer being convicted for an on-duty shooting. But it deeply disappointed Grant’s relatives, who said the video-recorded shooting was a murder and that Mehserle deserved a sentence years longer than the one he is likely to receive.
[…]
In all, he could be sentenced to five to 14 years in prison.

The jury took 6 1/2 hours over two days to decide that Mehserle was guilty of a crime, but not guilty of the other options it had been given – second-degree murder and voluntary manslaughter.

Their verdict suggests they believed Mehserle when he testified that he had mistaken his pistol for his Taser as he sought to subdue the 22-year-old Grant at Fruitvale Station in Oakland following a fight on a BART train, a shooting that was captured on video by five other riders as well as a platform camera.


This explains a lot about some of our readers who seem to be on DU all day to comment on posts.

A new study published in the July issue of Pediatrics, Television and Video Game Exposure and the Development of Attention Problems, has concluded that too much time spent watching television and playing video games can double the risk of attention problems in children and young adults.

Edward Swing and colleagues at Iowa State University assessed two age groups: middle schoolers (third-fourth-fifth graders) and 2010 college students.

Using the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation of watching TV or playing video games less than two hours a day, they discovered that “Those who exceeded the AAP recommendation were about 1.6 times to 2.2 times more likely to have greater than average attention problems.”

[…Dr. Dimitri Christakis] also explained that his own research found that the faster-paced shows increased the risk of attention problems because “You prime the mind to accept that pace. Real life doesn’t happen fast enough to keep your attention.”


This Episode’s Executive Producer: David Walsh
Associate Executive Producer: Sir Randy Asher
Art by: Bonked
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